1. Saturday, January 26, 2008

    hot chick suckered me into seeing Juno last night 

    juno

    the only problem with dating young babes is they havent seen alot of really good movies to know the difference between a quirkly snarky overhyped selfobsessed monotone unrealistic unbelievable flat ohtoosmartforitself not bad movie from an actual good movie.

    if you havent seen Juno maybe you should avert your eyes because i dont know how else to talk about this movie other than give away some of the “spoliers” so i apologize, for the most part im able to talk about movies without giving away ANY of the plot but one of the main things i hated about this movie (a film i didnt Hate, overall) is that i felt like i had seen it before.

    after i got home this morning and went back through the trailers i discovered that i had seen the film – in the commercials for the film. why on earth do people do this? pretty much the entire plot was given away in the trailer. plus there was no real climax in the film, no plot development, no character development, no breakthrough, no serious tension, and people who were either too good to be true or too dull to be believable.

    and this is being considered for awards of some sort?

    the only thing decent about the movie is its references to music, but half the time theyre playing the oh so precious whisperings of belle and sebastian who havent been relevant for at least 5 years so who gives a fuck?

    and are we supposed to scoff at the pregnant chick at being naive when she tries to diss Sonic Youth by calling one of their albums “noise” when she is supposed to be way into punk circa ’77?

    and are we supposed to scoff at the monotoned Jason Bateman (who is too good to be true since he loves all the things Juno loves, and can play guitar better than her, and knows films better than her, and somehow scored Jennifer Garner, but for some reason doesnt have a backbone to save his soul: you call that an interesting character?) says that rock music was at its best at ’93? what about ’91 fuckface?

    the only interesting people in the film are Junos parents who are also a little too good to be true, but are atleast somewhat unpredicatable and all of their smart alecky lines actually go down easier than when Junos cringe worthy hep talk gets flung at us.

    someone needs to slap the bitch and tell her boyfriend to drink a beer and take off his bra.

    plus i dont buy their attraction to each other one damn bit.

    still somehow i give the film a B or B minus but that might have been because my date was hot and let me do whatever i wanted all night.

    rotten tomatoes gives it the highest rating of any current movie out today: 93% Fresh. and is it true that it made 87 million bucks? damn. then fix the problems next time!