nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, January 26, 2008

    greg brady has a blog 

    and although its nicely designed, its truly lame.

    call me crazy but i heart britneys fake british accent.

    speaking of crazy yesterday the 10 most popular stories on Digg were about Scientology – America’s hottest religion?

    brent zacky, the super producer who brought Hefner’s girlfriends to E! is now the VP of programming at TLC and is bringing Miss America to TLC. he was always one of my faves at E!

    CBS News has video of the worlds first weed machine – yes the same one mentioned here a few posts down. the owner claims that the machine will help keep the price down.

    Voter Fraud in the New Hampshire Primary or just Really Interesting Video?

    LAist’s Ali Miller interviews Guns n Roses’ best friend, Marc Canter, the son of the owners of Canters. Marc has a new book coming out about last great sunset strip band (who still owes us some Chinese Democracy)

    even when xTx writes about something super disgusting, somehow she still makes it super hot and very funny.

    LA Times calls bullshit on Josh Gibson mocking Heath Ledger’s death

    flagrant hasnt been playing nice this year

    a woman at the New York Times tries to write an essay about blogging in the NYT Review of Books. she tries to make sense of the Instapundit, among others, and fails miserably. languagehat on metafilter outs her as a typical hack, gets called out, and responds justly, thusly:

    Oh, languagehat, don’t you see that you’re tarring “print media types” with the exact same too-broad brush that they often tar bloggers?

    bicyclefish got it. It’s just as lazy for bloggers to complain about print media as the print media to complain about bloggers.

    See, I’d love to agree with you, because I’m all about even-handedness and not stereotyping and all that good stuff, but the fact is I’ve never seen a single fair, knowledgeable, and interesting piece about blogging from the mainstream media. This Boxer piece is about as good as it gets, and that’s not saying a whole lot. I’ve seen plenty of knowledgeable, incisive discussion of the mainstream media by bloggers. But maybe I’ve just been unlucky. Go ahead, prove me wrong; I like being proven wrong. Point me to a really good discussion (with no condescension, no “aren’t these kiddies cute?” attitude) of blogging by a mainstream journalist. Make my day.

    Needless to say, languagehat, one of my favorite mefiers, doesnt get his day made.

  2. Friday, January 25, 2008

    am i the only person who isnt ashamed to say 

    “i like To Catch A Predator, and i watch every episode i can”?

    sure its a fucked up show hosted by a complete tool with a fake voice and a tired approach with obviously much older “actors” than the teens (and pre-teens) that they allege to be in the chatrooms – but its great television and thats all it really needs to be.

    and it embarrasses and publicly ridicules and arrests some of the worst and most disgusting criminals in america: child molesters

    therefore any criticism about the show, if you ask me, is usually rooted in several layers of bullshit. so what if some of the alleged kill themselves? so what if some of the actual arrests involve elements of entrapment – you are guilty of a crime simply for driving to the house after arranging for sex with a minor via the net, so who cares if they put the WORST BLONDE WIG ON AN 18 YEAR OLD GIRL who is pretending to be 12 to get the pervs ass into the suburban house filled with cops and cameras?

    as creepy as the show is, who the fuck cares that some of the asswipes get off the hook due to legal loopholes when millions of people, some of whom might be sex offenders or would-be sex offenders, are educated in the fact that the child that theyre IMing might just be a cop, or worse, a highly rated tv show bent on exposing them on national broadcast television?

    yesterday LAist scored an interview with one of the young ladies who poses as an 11 year old. she explained that she appears on the web cam to the alleged pervs while a team of people chats with the suspect (how the dude cant see her hands match the words on the screen is baffling, but whatevs). she disclosed that the crew cracks jokes during the days that theyre taping and catching the criminals. and she explained that shes an actress who has a record deal.

    last night the interview made its way to Metafilter, and got hammered. because The Blue can tend to veer off into hipster righteousness, from time to time, of course noone had the nads to admit that they like the show, and some of them pretended like they had never ever seen the show (though they didnt resort to the old claim of “i dont even OWN a tv, humph!”)

    however this was the best comment by one of the MeFiers who found a bit of contradiction in the actress’s innerview.

    How do you feel like some people have criticized the show regarding entrapment?
    It makes me really mad because I know that perverted justice does a really, really good job of making sure they’re not trying to seduce anybody.We just sit in a chat room, we say 11, female, Long Beach, California and then see who pops up so when people accuse them of seducing these guys, it annoys me because I know it’s not true.

    Were there times when it seemed like the pedophile was going to just leave and then it was you that kept them there?
    Yea. There was one guy in particular I had to stand outside with for 40 minutes and talk him into walking into the house.


    basically i think anything that gets child molesters off the street – and off the web – for even a little while, is fine with me, especially if it’s tv reality shows. speaking of… when do the new episodes air?

  3. Thursday, January 24, 2008

    they call it the world’s first marijuana atm 

    but if you ask me its the worlds first marijuana vending machine.

    atms are machines that give you whats already yours. vending machines give you what you’d like to have.

    certain people in Los Angeles have prescriptions from doctors that allow them to legally purchase marijuana. apparently some of those people dont want to get their medicine from humans who can recommend various strains of that medicine, and others want to get their medicine late late at night.

    thus the 24/7 Marijuana Vending Machine fills a nice little void.

    Thrillist has photos of the machine and the little package of pot that comes out.they call the machines ATMs in the headline, but AVMs in the body of the text (maybe theyve been sampling the merchandise?)

    AVMs are 24/7 machines housed in standalone rooms, abutting two dispensaries and protected by round-the-clock security guards — like ATMs for people combating psychological withdrawal with a physical one. After cinching up your doctor’s consultation, hit an AVM location to get your prescription approved, fingerprint taken, and a prepaid credit card loaded with your profile: dosage (3.5 or 7 grams, up to 1oz a week) and strain preference (choice of five, including OG Cush and Granddaddy Purple, the mildly hallucinogenic forebear to Prince). Then day or night, all you do is hit a machine and walk away with enough vacuum-sealed, plastic-encapsulated cheeba to adequately treat your illness, and guarantee your car never smells like new leather again.

    The Worlds First Marijuana Machine can be found here in LA at: Melrose Quality Pain Relief, 4906 Melrose Ave and at Herbal Nutrition Center, 1435 S. La Cienega Blvd.

    Somewhat Related: Today California’s high court ruled that your workplace can fire you for failing your piss test EVEN if you have a prescription from your doctor recommending that you ingest weed.

    The big loser in this case – Gary Ross who was fired from RagingWire Telecommunications shortly after he was hired there and failed the drug test. Why did he get a weed prescription? Because he was an Air Force veteran who got back pains after injuries in the service.

    He received a physician’s recommendation to use pot in 1999 and presented a card certifying his use of the narcotic when he took the employment drug test in 2001.

    Ross said his condition does “not affect his ability to do the essential functions of the job” his former employer hired him to do, according to his original complaint.

    California Supreme Court, why do you hate America and our troops?

  4. this woman is married to a police chief 

    she is also a former prosecutor and PTA President. oh, and she is also accused of having sex with two underage boys, joining other teens in booze and pot parties. She pleaded not guilty to 35 counts of statutory rape, criminal sex acts, sex abuse and endangering children.

    Drunken Underage Rich White Girl with a “Drinko De Mayo” Shirt hits a Black Man’s car (who was legally making a U-Turn). Her car flips over killing her passenger (who was not wearing a seatbelt). Black dude leaves the scene, is later arrested for several crimes including manslaughter, could get 21 years in the slammer. Girl not charged for ANYTHING. Oh, Arizona.

    Get it On: Spouses Who Fight Live Longer

    British Bus Driver Kicks 19-year Old Woman off Bus because she was a man’s Pet, sez “We don’t let freaks and dogs like you on.” Later the Bus Company apologizes. “Pet” Woman says: “I am a pet. I generally act animal-like and I lead a really easy life. I don’t cook or clean and I don’t go anywhere without Dani. It might seem strange but it makes us both happy. It’s my culture and my choice. It isn’t hurting anyone.”

    Ginormous iPod Earbuds, 500 times bigger than normal earbuds Are Real!

    Snow north of LA on the Grapevine strands 300 people

    Photos of an artist who throws herself at Men. h/t BB

    Happy 10th Birthday Mozilla!!

    We’re Fighting for What, Exactly? Afghani student sentenced to Death for Insulting the prophet Mohammed

    Suzie (who recently became a stripper) doles out some facts about herself and links to a video where she cleans her room – which is strangely more compelling than most unfocused videos)

    Good Pussy: Oreo the Cat saves 8 people from Burning Michigan House

    this will be the year that xTx attempts to Give a Shit

    photos of Quiet Company’s new Drummer

    Anonymous issues jihad on Scientology. Digg has all the news.

    erin celebrates the anniversary of her abortion… hilariously, somehow

    Best Buy Cashes in on Heath Ledger’s Death

    LA Times Critics Bash, Praise Coachella Lineup

    Ken Layne Explains How GOP Actor Fucked Up: Fred Thompson Should’ve Worn His Supporters’ Stupid Hats

    This Still Happens? 41 Washington DC district workers Fired for Looking at Porn At Work

    Fox News Radio Host Begs For Attention, Mocks Heath Ledgers Death

    and lastly, the iPhone Guitar, bitches

  5. Wednesday, January 23, 2008

    pics from this morning’s class at ‘sc 

    q. how do you keep it real on your blog and not have it bite yr ass when people google your name?

    a. quit working for douchey people at douchey workplaces, stand behind your opinions, and actually be qualified for the jobs you want and the job you have. also put a beautiful disclaimer on your killer blog. and when in doubt, blog anonymously.

  6. today is lindsay from minnesotas birthday shes 23. 


    quiet and sensitive and freaked out by the world, heartbroken and golden and hotter than most girls, lindsay wrote me emails that i ignored because no way would a shouldbe supermodel be writing me.

    one day she said why do you ignore me? i said cuz no way are you the girl in the pictures.

    she said i am. i said sir… please… im too busy for these shenanigans.

    she said how do i prove it?

    i said fly out here and remove all of your clothes.

    she said how about i call you first.

    i said how about you make a video first.

    she said fine.

    then she made the video.

    then she called me.

    then she flew out.

    then i examined the situation

    very carefully.

    then i was revived from fainting.

    then i did what i always do when i meet damn near angels from heaven or somewhere lower: i thanked the Lord and asked her to marry me or something lesser.

    lindsay is a complicated girl with many difficult choices to make in the next few months. one of which includes taking my hand in matrimony, one of which includes sending me photos of the exotic variety, one of which includes meeting me in las vegas.

    hopefully one of her decisions is to write on her blog more often because i love how she writes and i love her tales even though they rarely include me, even in passing.

    aquarius on the capricorn cusp – i hope she finds much more than lust.

  7. the usc class was awesome 

    i totally wanna teach forever.

    we talked about how there arent any newspaper blogs in the technorati 100. why that is. whats gonna change that.

    we talked about how j schoolers should be working at places like LAist and really getting in their blogging about stories and gathering news and getting their hands dirty. we talked about how they should be interning at places like the Times and the Huffington Post.

    we talked about how group blogs are the way to go.

    some really good questions came up like: how can newspapers learn how to monetize their news online as opposed to letting the bloggers get all the glory and ad dollars. how can students keep it real in their blogs and not have it come back to bite them in the ass. how can i look so damn young despite being 101 years old.

    i took pictures of the campus for your ass and i will have those up when i get home after work.

    but all in all it was an excellent morning with an excellent class room of very smart people, and i wanna thank my man Eric for hooking it up and allowing me to race through one hour at breakneck speed as i explain to inquiring minds how everything that the MSM is doing online is basically assbackwards and how they should not get caught into that death spiral.

    thank you Eric.

    afterwards i went to jack in the box and got a #20 which is an Ultimate Breakfast, which was so lovely, and now im eating a salad. bleh.

    last night i was so nervous about this class that i went to bed early.

    then i woke up early but i was so nervous i didnt get out of the house till late.

    im such a loser.

  8. Tuesday, January 22, 2008
  9. heath ledger killed himself today in a new york apartment 

    (rumored to be owned by mary kate olsen) in an alleged overdose of sleeping pills.

    even though he was a pretty boy i had no problem with him whatsoever.

    the first film where he won me over was the comedy A Knights Tale which i saw with karisa at the century city AMC. what was great about that film was how karisa squirmed in her seat during the opening jousting scenes because she really hates blood. and there was a little bit of blood.

    i liked it and him because although he was easy on karisas eyes, he was no wimp. maybe because he was austrailian.

    but the real test was Brokeback Mountain where he played a tough (gay) cowboy. somehow karisa and i saw that one together too, and although i didnt like it as much as A Knights Tale, i was shocked at how good it was, and how not-that-gay it ended up being.

    in a weird six degrees of seperation, i dated this cuban chick whose best friend is an actress from Dawson’s Creek. the actress’s bff is Michelle Williams, who, as you know was married to heath for a short while. anyways, when heath and michelle were nominated for Golden Globes and Oscars a few years ago, they had two extra tickets to the Globes and the Oscars. our girl got to go. and not just go, but sit in the front row of the oscars and at the brokeback table for the globes.

    thus i was paying a little more attention to heath than even the normal person a few years ago.

    thus im sadder today than the average bear – i mean dude.

    but that doesnt mean that im not one to speculate.

    why would a handsome 28 year old single man with a 2 year old daughter eat a bunch of sleeping pills?

    the only thing i can think of is he was gay and didnt know how to tell his family and fans. i know this is the midwest in me talking, but sorry.

    also, how many non flaming gay actors do we know? dougie houser is the only one i can think of.

    thus wouldnt most sorta tough guys have a hard time coming out of the closet when they dont have any peers who have done so successfully.

    judas priest’s rob halford? but did he do so successfully?

    then i think maybe he was a drug addict. then i think maybe he was HIV positive. then i think maybe he had racked up crazy debts. then i think maybe there was more to the divorce than we all thought about before.

    then i think i shouldnt even think these thoughts but then i think im a human being and how can you NOT think all of these things.

    and i think them because i wanna help people who might be thinking similar things that could lead them to similarilly horrible ends.

    and then i think that all of his friends must be super bummed out because they were probably all, dude why didnt you tell us you were that freaked out by _____?

    was it drugs that he was stuggling with? who on drugs od’s on sleeping pills?

    i really hope he didnt kill himself over being gay. this is 2008. that shit shouldnt be that big of a stigma any more. should it? is being gay worse than being the worst president ever – someone who has led the country to war, global hatred, and now Recession? of course not. and yet dummy doesnt ace himself. therefore closeted gays shoudlnt even consider for one second about killing themselves.

    anyways, please speculate in the comments if you wish. and know i heart you all.

  10. Monday, January 21, 2008

    Jack Johnson headlines coachella? Really? 

    FRIDAY, APRIL 25: Jack Johnson, The Verve, Raconteurs, The Breeders, Fatboy Slim, Tegan and Sara, Madness, The Swell Season, The National, Animal Collective, Slightly Stoopid, Mum, Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, Stars, Battles, Aesop Rock, Midnight Juggernauts, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Minus the Bear, Spank Rock, Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip, Diplo, Adam Freeland, Santo Gold, Jens Lekman, John Butler Trio, Vampire Weekend, Dan Deacon, Architecture in Helsinki, Sandra Collins, Busy P, Cut Copy, Black Lips, Datarock, Professor Murder, Reverend and the Makers, The Bees, Porter, Rogue Wave, Modeselektor, American Bang, Lucky I Am

    SATURDAY, APRIL 26: Portishead, Kraftwerk, Death Cab for Cutie, Cafe Tacuba, Sasha & Digweed, Rilo Kiley, Dwight Yoakam, M.I.A., Hot Chip, Cold War Kids, Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, DeVotchKa, Flogging Molly, Mark Ronson, Turbonegro, Scars on Broadway, Islands, Enter Shikari, Calvin Harris, Boyz Noize, Junkie XL, Cinematic Orchestra, Jamie T, The Teenagers, VHS or Beta, Carbon/Silicon, Erol Alkan, Yo Majesty!, Little Brother, Bonde Do Role, St. Vincent, Akron Family, MGMT, Institubes DJs (Surkin, Para One and Orgasmic), James Zabiela, Sebastian, Kavinsky, Dredg, The Bird and the Bee, Grand Ole Party, New Young Pony Club, 120 Days, Yoav, Electric Touch, Uffie.

    SUNDAY, APRIL 27: Roger Waters (“Dark Side of the Moon”), Love & Rockets, My Morning Jacket, Spiritualized, Justice, Gogol Bordello, Chromeo, The Streets, Metric, Danny Tenaglia, Simian Mobile Disco, Booka Shade, Murs, Dmitri from Paris, Autolux, The Field, Linton Kwesi Johnson, Les Savy Fav, The Cool Kids, Sons & Daughters, Sia, Holy Fuck, Black Kids, Black Mountain, The Annuals, Kid Sister w/A-Trak, Man Man, Duffy, I’m from Barcelona, Manchester Orchestra, Deadmau5, The Horrors, Austin TV, Shout Out Louds, Plastiscines, Brett Dennen.