busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, February 29, 2008

    the readers ask, the busblog answers 

    Matt Welch asks: When are you coming to visit your bro(s) in DC?

    as you may know, i was born in washington dc, and my half-brother lives and works there. and, as you may know, our paper has a bureau there. however i am deeply in love with my job and im a loyal servant of my boss, who i adore, and am i completely committed and devoted to my work. so most days i dont even leave the building let alone consider leaving the state.

    however i have a brilliant idea for a blog, and who knows, i might have to head to the east coast to make it happen properly, so you might get a strange knock on yr door one of these nights from a very light skinned brotha.

    also, yr wife needs to update her blawg.

    bicyclemark: Have you watched The Wire? (note if no, then please please, Im your friend and I highly demand that you start, I promise you wont regret)

    Everyone at the Times watches it because it’s allegedly great, but also because this season is about the newsroom that one of our former editors took over in baltimore. i watched the first episode and didnt get it, so everyone said oh man you gotta watch it from the begining so i went to Target and season 1 was like $60 so i figured id get it off ebay, but then i realized i was about to get a blue-ray dvd player so i held off but then i decided not to get a blue ray dvd player but one that upconverts instead but then i saw one that upconverts AND records then i was all, wait im gonna spend like $350 to see a fucking TV show? season 1 of a tv show, and i have 3 more to watch? so i just went to jack in the box and forgot about all of it.

    xtx: Did you break up with Lost so you could go fuck Big Brother?

    i am the most loyal man alive. i adore Lost and last night’s episode was so good. however i am pulling several 12-hour days at work, so i barely have any time to write about this or that let alone all the beautiful complexities and midfucks contained in this seasons best drama on TV. last night i didnt leave the office until 10pm so when i got home i didnt get the shit fired up till 11 and i was almost nodding off by 1130pm… but it was soooooo damn good. fuck!

    Travis: If you were a dinosaur, what dinosaur would you be?

    A truckasaurus of course

    TR: What’ve you been listening to lately?

    1. The Hollow TreesWelcome to Nelsonville
    2. Lil Wayne – I’m Me
    3. Ting Tings – “That’s Not My Name”
    4. Janet Jackson – Feedback
    5. Dinosaur Jr. – Beyond
    6. Rihanna – SOS
    7. Teenage Fanclub – Bandwagonesque
    8. Merle Haggard – Down Every Road
    9. Oreskaband – Ore
    10. Wyclef – Carnival pt 2

    miguel: I’m going on a weekend trip with a semi-girlfriend to San Diego. Besides doing some bargain shopping in Tijuana we don’t have any plans. I know you hate the place but there’s gotta be something redeeming about it. Any tips?

    the only redeeming parts of san diego are the restrooms on your way to ensenada. but even they have disease and shame so just pee against a beemer and get back into your car and keep headed south. your semi girlfriend will thank you. but dont forget to bring your passport because thanks to 9/11 instead of bombing saudi arabia now we all have to show our passports at the border even if we’re americans. fuck diego.

    Dan: Know of the Australian band Silverchair? And if so, have you heard their latest two albums (Young Modern, and Diorama)? What do/did you think of them, if you remember?

    i remember the cobain lookalike kid. i hear he grew up a tad. other than that i havent heard a thing. and unless he plays with his teeth occasionally or behind his back im not interested.

    creepy dude: What’s the weirdest drug induced incident that ever happened to you?

    check one two. is this mic on? ive been around the block a few times. i went to U Can Study Buzzed, and i studied a lot. now im basically straight edge because im old and gray and bald and fat and most of what i learned off drugs i learned in college where it was safe.

    but since you asked i will tell you since we’re all friends. alcohol is the most powerful and dangerous drug i ever encountered mostly because it’s underrated and overabused.

    one night me and all of my friends decided to have a dress up party. all the boys wore suits, all the girls wore cute summer dresses. the Brothers Steve wore tuxes and Coulter was the bartender. even the moon and the stars put on top hats and busted with monocles.

    we were buzzed, not drunk. none of us were drunk. pleasantly pissed as the brits say. but booze and love was in the air. maybe one dude rolled a joint in the back of the santa barabara house that we were partying in but i dont think i even got a contact high.

    sometime shortly after the band played – out of the blue and totally unexpectedly everyone started making out. and by everyone i mean everyone. the boys the girls the everyones. and it wasnt drunken sloppy omgiloveyouman kissing it was hi baby smooches which lead to deeper kisses which lead to omg youre great at kissing hey come here mary you should kiss tony. etc etc.

    i went to the bathroom and there was my bro in the shower with two girls. kissing. not showering. no water running. no clothes off. just three people in the shower as if That was what was supposed to happen. they saw me, smiled, and went back to making out. taking turns. taking little sips of whatever was in their red cups.

    i walked a girl home who was crying because the boy she really liked kissed everyone but her. and when she got home she wiped her tears and kissed me for a good five minutes. then i kissed her g’nite and skateboarded home.

    all of my other experiences with drugs were totally expected, wonderful, weird, scary, freaky, fucked up, wild, etc., but when it happens with just a little bit of something and a whole lot of magic, thats really weird, for me. good weird, but weird.

    Curtis: Tony, Today as you may already be aware is Leap Year Day. As a reader of your blog thing, a question comes to mind as to your plans for a once in a 4 year holiday. How does Tony usually spend a once in a four year holiday celebration extravaganza? Ok, long question, but ya know what I mean right? Holla.

    tony doesnt usually spend any particular day in any particular way except for on 9/11 i always watch Fahrenheit 9/11. other than that i hate ritual except for saying my prayers at night before i fall asleep.

    Blank.FM: I’m thinking of moving to Los Angeles with 5 grand and no job. I don’t know LA. I want music and clubs. I’m more interested in the music scene and surrounding myself with fellow artistic individuals.

    Where do I go? How do I prepare? More importantly, how much are apartments, and what are generally good areas to consider? Gas a killer?

    More than one question, I know. But you get the general theme.

    General google stuff, but I like the busblog first hand account.

    for music and clubs there are only two places for you to live. hollywood or east hollywood. because the music is better the further east you go, i suggest moving to echo park, los feliz, or silver lake, which is also home of artistic people.

    use craigslist. start a blog. tell everyone you know. because of the housing bubble you might get lucky and be able to rent a little house for the price most people are paying for 1 bdr apartments ($1,400/month). if you dont know anyone in town and/or are relatively young, you might also try scoring a roommate.

    gas is $3.40 a gallon. the subway is $5 a day. and since this is the busblog id have to recommend a buspass.

  2. the other day i outted two of my favorite bloggers 

    for not blogging in weeks. today i noticed that they both updated their blogs.

    heres an excerpt from each of their thingies -

    the pants:


    i spend my days curbing frequent intense urges to throw mary’s ugly screaming babies in the trash can. what the hell was i thinking moving into this house? she is fucking loco and my days are spattered with frozen rage-face when i hear the constant stream of MOOOOOOOOM JADA IS EATING HER CEREAL! MOMMMMMMMM! MOMMMMMMM OLLIE GOT WATER ON HIS SHIRT MOOOOOOM! OW LET GO! MOMMMMM! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOWWWWWWWWLLLLLL STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP AIEEEE STOMP STOMP until i become so painfully agitated i actually pass out, clearly this is very healthy. anyways when things started to unravel i was like i’ll just quietly deal with it as penance for my foolish and gullible choices and maybe keep an eye out for a nice dude with a non baby filled house but everyone in the general south sound area is criminally boring or they have aids or babies which i equate in terms of ineligibility. seriously if you think about it, how immoral is it to have a child in this day and age. how do people live with themselves. the greatest thing i have contributed to this world is a pile of bloody goo in a free clinic hazmat bin: the gift of resource management.

    theres more, so click her link above.

    danielle:


    I decided to stop by Julie’s place of travajo
    tonight which as it happens is also
    one of my favorite places to go.
    I had a slow day which translates to bad devil thoughts ruling
    the brain/mood/general outlook on life.
    When devil thoughts gain a few laps
    it is hard to even try to win the race.
    Its like the wrong things are on my mind
    or I’m off track yet on the track
    It doesnt make sense, you are responding.
    And that is what I too am thinking
    This doesnt make sense.
    But in what way?
    IN this way: I never pictured my life to be like this.
    Well, then how did you picture your life, danielle…
    And then, I dont have an answer.
    I never really pictured my life ahead of an ephemeral spontaneous
    what’s next mentality (which I like by the way).
    Whatever that means.
    The devil thoughts are so slimy that they weasel their way
    in to discredit me, to make me feel bad, to make it harder for me to fight.
    So, I shift directions
    or so I think…
    Goals.
    Hmmm, I think. Goals.
    I dont know.
    Should I say be happy?
    Ha.

    danielle also has more, infact she posted omg twice the other day.

    welcome back to america, ladies! by the way, fellas, both of these beauties are single and lookin to mingle so get on it.

    meanwhile up in canaduh, single suzie hasnt posted since tuesday and if she needs a topic on the table, perhaps she can write about what she would do with me if say she had a week to spend avec moi in a party town and a sweet hotel suite…

  3. Thursday, February 28, 2008

    if theres one trend that i despise it’s the rise of the Make Money Blogging blogs 

    im going to be headed to austin for sxsw in about 10 days and i know im gonna run into people who are either gonna ask me for tips on how to make money blogging or introduce me to some of these make money bloggers and im just gonna take another sip of beer and head back to the bbq.

    theres a word for people who try to make real money blogging.

    its the same word they have for people who try to make real money fucking.

    lost.

    blogging should be something that you do for love. something that you do because you wanna send and s.o.s. to the world. something that you do because you want to be creative and express yourself and get the attention of the hot girl who youre too shy to say hi to.

    when people write songs for money or manufacture bands to make money we know what those records sound like – total shit.

    we will be talking about bob dylan for generations to come because fucker kept it real. still keeps it real.

    blogs that do it for the sake of money are so clearly full of bullshit that they never make it to the top. which doesnt mean that the How to Make Money Blogging blogs arent successful or have good ideas – they are and they do (some of them), but theyre never written by people who could write a real blog about something that would interest a large group of people.

    which shouldnt be the point either.

    what the Blogging Experts dont tell you in their how to make money blogs is that there are about 100 people making money blogging today out of 130 million. you have better odds marrying and divorcing britney spears for the money. so do that. those 100 people, by the way, are on the Technorati Top 100, and those people probably arent millionaires, so befriend a trainwreck pop star or play the lottery.

    plus some of those 100 are bloggers who have been doing it for years and year and who are actually pretty fucking great at what they do.

    heres another thing those make money blog writers wont tell you: most of the blogs in the technorati top 100 are group blogs, meaning you have to share that revenue with 5-10 people. meaning no one is getting rich. plus you have to blog 6 times a day. plus you have to network like crazy. plus you have to write about the exact right shit at the exact right time.

    a few years ago you could be a right wing hack and probably make a few bucks. today you’d be better off writing about iphones and grownup toys. but still you have to compete with the boing boings and the engadgets and the gizmodos and techcrunches and all of those sites have several writers, so how are you, alone, gonna compete?

    you arent. and you shouldnt. you should give up on making money blogging and do what you shoulda done in the first place – write for the joy of writing.

    and get a fucking job.

  4. aint no ting 

    the ting tings yo

    guess whose pre-write about the catchy new band The Ting Tings just got published on the LA Times’ sweet new blog Soundboard?

    yes im excited. yes it took forever ever cuz we were having wordpress issues, and other issues. yes i will be writing a tad more for them and a few other blogs. yes i miss blogging.

    yes you should go there and see for yrself.

    yes i love you.

    and yes there are some free MP3s waiting for your ass b/c the singles arent even available in American iTunes

    yes youre welcome

  5. Maxim writer admits he never heard the entire new Black Crowes cd 

    last week the Black Crowes caught Maxim reviewing their new cd without hearing it.

    first the ladmag skirted the issue, but later they apologized for the deal.

    yesterday the Crowes refused to accept the apology.

    today the LA Times’ blog Soundboard got an exclusive interview with the freelancer responsible for the “review” who said he was asked to write some previews of a few cds, never heard the cds in their entirety, and someone at Maxim turned the previews into reviews and added star ratings.

    read the whole story here

  6. morning roundup of beautiful news 

    redneck mansion

    - blind irishman uses son’s tooth to restore sight. now he can watch television!

    - how good people turn evil: from stanford to abu gharib

    - the 10 worst CAPTCHAs

    sixteen year old, 36 year old boyfriend- Google gives SF homeless free voicemail.

    - speaking of Google, theyre getting into the web site development biz. it wont be free.

    - beware of this hot aussie teenage girl – shes allergic to water

    - also down under: masked gunman tries to rob bar, unfortunately a biker gang was holding a meeting in said bar, gunman ends up hog tied, humiliated

    - why cops should be relieved that most people dont carry guns: eight days after the tragedy at Northern IL Univeristy, an undercover cop burst into college classroom to pretend that he was going to start killing students. claimed it was a “drill” claimed students, staff, teachers had been notified via email. not everyone got the email.

    - shes 16, hes 36 (and divorced), she asked parents to let her move in with him, they say how about he move in with us. they were afraid of her getting mad at them. photo on the right.

    - best fortune cookie of the day

    - twelve steps for learning how to go with the flow

    - Maxim got caught reviewing the new Black Crowes cd without listening to it. Maxim apologized last week. yesterday the Crowes lit up a joint and then refused Maxim’s apology.

    - the one great idea that China had is being retooled.

    - arent the FBI supposed to be smart? former agent suggests Second Internet

    - facebook to redesign with more tabs to aid those of us with iPhones

    - more facebook: new application can help groups issue ultimatums

    - cats are democrats, dogs are republicans

    - southwest responds to the rumor that they banned two women for being too hot

  7. Wednesday, February 27, 2008

    drudge makes a funny 

    everyone has their problems with drudge, once the most powerful blog on the web
    and because of my gig i go to his site several times a day

    today he made me laugh with his selection of photograph

    nice job matt or andrew or whoever did it.

    btw our story on LA Now also had a cute picture.