1. Monday, February 4, 2008

    does anyone else remember what Gisele said after the Patriots beat the Chargers? 

    something about how if the Pats lost the super bowl that she would run through midtown manhattan naked?

    FOXBOROUGH, Mass. (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) — Winning isn’t everything, particularly if losing means you get to glimpse Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen striding naked down the Great White Way. A trip to the Super Bowl has suddenly presented the Patriots with an unexpected dilemma: a choice between a perfect record and beholding the perfect body, unclad and in motion.

    In the aftermath of their 21-12 victory over the San Diego Chargers, Tom Brady’s celebrated girlfriend startled onlookers by promising to run naked down Broadway in the unlikely event the Patriots lose to the Arizona-bound N.Y. Giants — unlikely until the very moment she parted her full lips and made the surprise announcement.

    “Never in a million years did I think I’d have a problem motivating a team heading into the Super Bowl,” said Patriots coach Bill Belichick. “Gisele opens her big mouth and look at ’em — half the guys are staring into space, the others are leering like they’ve just stumbled onto their uncle’s private porn stash. And who can blame them — that’s one fine specimen. But this is a completely new wrinkle … though wrinkle is probably the wrong word, as I’ve seen Gisele in a thong, and trust me, that butt’s tighter than a fine-tuned snare drum.”

    Most of the players interviewed refuse to let the indelible image of Gisele Bundchen gamboling gazelle-like though the streets — if a gazelle were 5-11 with perfect breasts and generated enough heat to thaw 30 square miles of permafrost — to become a distraction.

    “To be perfectly honest, she’s been a distraction the moment we saw pics of her on the beach with T.B. in the offseason,” said linebacker Mike Vrabel. “Those legs, that butt, those lips. Thankfully we’ve got football to release the sexual tension. Bringing an erection onto the field is never a good idea, particularly for a linebacker who relies on lateral pursuit to be effective.”

    I think we all won last night.