busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Monday, March 31, 2008

    president bush at nationals park in washington dc 

    throwing out the first pitch. ask yourself, will he get booed or cheered?

    imagine if everywhere you went, this is what the reaction was?

    personally i couldnt give two craps what people think of me, but still, opening day is one of the happiest days in any baseball fan’s year – especially if they have tickets to the home opener. so to be greeted thusly sorta means something.

  2. its called Staples, masshole 

    today the LA Times sports section had a sweet lil Q&A with every girl’s dreamboat, John Krasinski, who stars in “The Office”. LAT’s Jerry Crowe asked him some questions about sports because Krasinski is in George Clooney’s new football movie “Leatherheads”. Bro says that he used to play football in middle school, played basketball in high school and even ran cross country.

    But when it came to talking about pro sports, the Newton Mass prettyboy (who now lives in LA) showed that when it comes down to knowing where Kobe’s office is, he doesn’t know jack.

    Do you go to Lakers games?

    I actually don’t. I think I made a promise to a bunch of Boston fans that I would try not to be caught dead in Lakers Stadium.

    Go back to The Celtics Dome, ya bum.

  3. when its all said and done 

    and they talk about blogging

    there will be two names that will matter in the discussion.

    raymi the minx of toronto canada

    and ev williams of san francisco america

    i have had the great pleasure of meeting both of them

    and being hugely influenced by both of them

    and if it werent for both of them you probably wouldnt be on this page today

    so i thank them for that and i wish them both a happy 25th birthday today

  4. this one comes over 

    she always has a movie. she knows i dont like movies.

    she comes over anyways. with her movie.

    “youre a hip guy. you will like this.”

    does anyone wanna be called hip? is that a new term among the youth of america? i thought it was something old people used to say.

    people try to call each other cats nowadays. cant say i like that either.

    she brought over me you and everyone we know. she knows i dont go to the movie store.

    we used to watch movies on the leather couch but that only led to one thing – me sleeping. so now we watch in my bedroom.

    yes i have a tv in there too. she thinks its b/c of her.

    maybe it is.

    loved the movie. she was right.

    she was making ice cream. no not scooping ice cream into bowls, like human beings do. she was making ice cream, like what an insane cheerleader would do. because it’s “fun”. when i laughed at this one scene in the movie.

    she was in the kitchen and came running in because apparently my laugh sounds like someone who is hurt. “whats the matter?” she asked still holding a wooden spoon.

    topless.

    concerned.

    so unlike anything i ever expected at this stage of my blogging career.

  5. Sunday, March 30, 2008

    the digg kids found this picture 

    of the white house during last night’s lights out hour

    did i fully understand why we were all supposed to turn off our lights at 8pm for an hour – also known as Earth Hour? no

    did my mom call me to remind me to do it because Google “did it”? yes.

    did i think the whole thing was stupid? yes.

    did i laugh at the Little Green Football dittoheads who bragged about how many lamps and electrical devices they were going to illuminate in their doublewides homes? deeply.

    did i turn off my lights anyways? yes.

    did i then drive over to the LAist monthly party where they had turned off their lights? yes.

    did i congratulate them for not just setting a record, but for going well over 2.25 million hits? hell yeah.

    do i think the white house knew that everyone was gonna turn off their lights last night? no.

    do i think the white house woulda turned off their lights if they had known? good question.

    digg

  6. why looks are a fake out 

    – part 2348998

    dedicated to ms jeanine natalie who loves monkeys (not that way), and came over to my house but i was in the middle of a live fantasy baseball draft (because the season starts tomorrow) and i couldnt hang out with her for very long.

    but i still love her!

  7. Saturday, March 29, 2008

    interview with Christie of Funny Pages 2.0 

    me: Hi Christie St. Martin, newest blogger on the LA Times!

    Christie: O’hai. What’s happening? I am currently nursing a rather unfortunate hangover from trying to drink Mead last night. Interesting fact, Mead is not something one should drink in excess. The vikings are clearly much tougher than I am.

    me: Mead – the honey wine concoction?

    Christie: Ah yes, that very one. I had the bottle for 4 1/2 years. I figured it was time to bust it open and live like a Viking. Or a hobbit. Or an elf.

    me: Or a sloppy princess?

    Christie: Or that. (probably more the latter. yeah.)

    me: I understand your new blog is called Funny Pages 2.0, which can easily be found by typing in the shortcut url of http://latimes.com/lulz can you explain it for those who haven’t seen it yet?

    Christie: Basically, it’s what I have been doing since I graced the intarweb. Collecting random hilarity from crazy you tube videos, to hilarious essays to basically anything I find worth watching or reading and sharing it with others. I started doing this with my old personal site from back in the day, called Allthingschristie. Which honestly, had absolutely nothing to do with me. And everything to do with video games, web memes, insert-geeky-activities-here. Which scored me a job working for Vh1’s best week ever, doing basically the same thing but more pop culture and mocking of celebrities. And now, i am back to doing something that’s more up my alley for the LA Times.

    me: And we’re very happy to have you!

    Christie: I am very happy to be here. It’s always nice to have an outlet that accepts the fact that I am a horrible dork.

    me: Let’s examine your dorkiness, since you bring it up

    Christie: Whattttyaawaaannttoknow?

    me: Star Wars or Star Trek?

    Christie: Both. I have an entire hard drive dedicated to Star Trek. Every episode from the original series to Enterprise and every film. Star Wars, I own an unhealthy amount of toys and continue to grow on this collection. I just don’t want to grow up.

    I have an unhealthy obsession (not the creepy kind. OKAY SLIGHTLY CREEPY. I would be totally cool with him adopting me) with Shatner.


    But back to star wars, I got a thing for bounty hunters.

    me: So if a guy tried to pick you up while speaking Klingon, would that work?

    Christie: …well for starters, I would die of laughter and buy him a drink, and probably wind up in some sort of 3 hour conversation/arguement and then probably decide that we could never be because he enjoyed Voyager. And not in a ironic way.
    I am pretty sure anyone who honestly thought Janeway was a good captain, is not meant to be my boyfriend.

    DON’T GET ME WRONG. I watch Voyager. I just hate myself for it.

    me: Lets say you were deeply in love with a man, And you were engaged to be married
    And he suggested a Star Wars Wedding like how they did the coronation like in the end of Episode 1

    Christie: …. go on.

    me: or Episode 4, or whatever the kids call it these days… the original

    Christie: You are wondering whether I would be on board?

    me: yes

    Christie: Okay. Now this is the sad thing. Like any girl, of course I have put thought into what my wedding day would be like. I draw the line at dressing up in costume. However, I would so totally have my bridesmaids walk down the aisle to the Imperial motif.

    I would however of course, walk down the aisle to the Imperial March. You know, if my groom would be cool with that. Which chances are he wouldn’t be. So I would probably just hum it to myself. Admit it would be sort of awesome to see? Even just the humming part.

    me: So you would frown upon something along these lines:?

    Christie: Hilarious. But I would honestly never be able to live with myself again. No. I would GO to a wedding like that. I would buy them a Darth Vader cookie jar.
    But, No. To borderline LARP-like for this girl. But if I was allowed, it would be sort of awesome to have the ringbearer be Greedo. (Rodian bounter hunter…… Tatooine…. in the Cantina….killed by Han)

    I’ll shut up now. Please don’t make me put my foot in my mouth. But Greedo was probably the 2nd best part of the Cantina scene. Totally underrated bounty hunter.

    me: ok for our wedding i mean your wedding can that cantina band be the band?

    Christie: …..that would be pretty freakin awesome. Provided they just kept playing the same song over and over again. Okay, while I totally don’t want this to be my wedding, I would freaking pay to go to one like it.

    me: ok The Simpsons or Family Guy?

    Christie: Family Guy excluding 5th season. Love the Simpsons. You can’t compare but honestly, I would like to say Frisky Dingo is my new favourite cartoon. Pretty much the greatest thing ever. I am also more of a Futurama fan. I will have to burn you Frisky Dingo, and send it to ya. Amazing. Any cartoon willing to make a Sophie’s Choice joke, is cool in my books.

    me: So is Adult Swim your Playboy Channel?

    Christie: I suppose you could say that. But I tend to download all my shows.

    me: cough legally

    Christie: YES LEGALLY. PIRATING IS WRONG. But I just like having copies of the shows or movies I enjoy. Which is why my dvd collection continues to grow. the legal one.
    that is.

    me: lets move on to video games

    Christie: nods. What would you like to know?

    me: what has happened to creativity in video games? the 80s gave us all sorts of wacky weird fun games–

    Christie: Hey, it’s still there. You just have to be picky. I love nostalgic 80’s games as much as the next dork, but as much as I enjoy console games, I am far more of a PC gamer. I need a mouse and keyboard if it’s a matter of pwning bitches.
    …or elves. (Although Elves in my experiences can be bitches) I am still really into MMO’s but they destroy my life, so I try to limit my time.

    me: MMO?

    Christie: Massively multiplayer online role playing games. I mean, when I was in high school, I used to play anarchy online, and ultima, which then lead me to Everquest from the days of beta. Basically destroying my social life. By choice. [wink] However, to break off of Everquest, I used Counter Strike and used to play for money
    but the best MMO, I have ever played, has been EVE.

    Eve Online is a truly brilliant, high end game play that allows for the best PVP experiences I have ever had. I have played EVE for 4 years. And while I have beta tested many games since, or played and finished various of RPGs, etc. I have always gone back to it.

    me: PVP? sorry, im an old man

    Christie: Player vs Player. no worries. I am horribly competitive. There is something sadly satisfying, to this day, of making a 14 year old cry in his parent’s basement.
    DOES THAT MAKE ME A BAD PERSON? Yes, yes it does.

    me: no it makes us love you that much more

    Christie: Well, unfortunately I am not going to make a living, playing video games. So I gotta cut back and honestly, I have been doing better with that in the last year. Sort of. On that note, I would just like to say that my currently console obsession, which is rare, is Smash Brothers Brawl. I haven’t turned off my Wii in 2 two weeks.

    One of my good friends, is named Kirby and she is starting to develop a complex of me using the character Kirby to beat the crap out of Link, Mario, Princess Peach, The Snow Climbers, et.c etc. I think she doesn’t enjoy me comparing her to a pink cream puff who swallows people and spits them out.

    me: why are the kids so obsessed with this game? isnt it just another in the long line of two characters beating the piss out of each other?

    Christie: Smash Brothers Brawl? Because there is something deeply satisifying,even though it often infuriates me, about beating the crap out of your favourite characters of all time. The idea of having Zelda and Princess Peach, decking it out is pretty great.

    Or Pitt and Link throwing down.

    The beauty of a game like this is, the most adorable characters are usually the ones that kick the most ass. You can have Donkey Kong fight it out with Meta Knight or Sonic the hedgehog run circles around Wolf from Star Fox. It’s too adorable to pass up on. No matter how old I am.

    me: so you are a beautiful young woman with lots of friends

    Christie: d’aww

    me: you’re intelligent and funny

    Christie: I have some pretty great friends. Thank you. [smile]

    me: so why arent more young ladies like you into video games and cartoons and star wars things?

    Christie: I think it depends on what you’re raised on. Or in my case, what you were banned from. If more girls were given spare computer parts instead of dolls back in my day, there would have been a larger percentage of women going into computer related fields. But, that takes time.

    It will happen. There is already a drastically large portion of young girls owning up games like Halo or [rolls eyes] WoW.

    My parents were fantastic. However, I did temporarily get banned from consoles.
    They have long since given up trying to “save” me. [wink]

    me: wait did you just diss Warcraft?

    Christie: I did. I waited 5 years for that game. 5 YEARS I WAS EXCITED FOR WoW. I was a huge fan of anything created by Blizzard. Unforunately for me, In an MMO, I have pretty high standards for long term, high end game play and to this day WoW doesn’t have the follow through that it should.

    It’s a great game, it just needs to go the extra mile and provide something that’s more challenging. Leveling is too easy and while everything else is pretty brilliant. If I am going to invest my time into a game, I want to not be capable of seeing the end date.

    I will never sell my EVE Online characters. Never. Because I always know, I am going to go back to them.

    I could rant for hours and hours about this topic. Best change it up or this nterview will never end.

    me: ok theres that classic video of a WoW,i think, group

    Christie: Leroy Jenkins

    me: who were plotting to take on– yes

    Christie: best.video.ever.

    me: fake?

    Christie: Anyone who plays MMO’s know the amount of time, that is spent preparing for a raid and how long it takes to organize that many people for one single event and the last thing you need is someone charging into a mess without the raid party being prepared.

    I refuse to believe it is a fake. I don’t want to know.

    I love it. It is one of those internet videos that will truly NEVER get old.

    me: were you happy or sad to see that nissan commercial using WoW?

    Christie: it’s a great commercial. I just don’t want to see it. I had a hard enough time watching Shatner’s Wow commercial and I am convinced that man can do no wrong.
    Mr. Shatner, if you’re out there and reading this, I am open to an adoption agreement. CALL ME.

    me: what if we can get him to be the minister for your wedding?

    Christie: ….I honestly don’t think my dad would be offended if Shatner walked me down the aisle. But I would so prefer him to be the minister. I would also hope he would sing at my wedding. And by sing, I mean Shatner every song.

    me: done. ok

    Christie: [heart]

    me: now lets talk about your fashion style

    Christie: ha.

    me: you dont dress like a video game nerd

    Christie: See that’s the thing. I do. But I mix it up. I have an entire closet full of t-shirts. I also have a bunch of girly outfits that I’ll whip out when needed. But I think comfort is key.

    me: if there was one video game or sci fi character out there whose style most matches yours who would it be?

    Christie: Leeloo Dallas, MULTIPASS Kidding.
    But that would be awesome.

    me: I just googled her.

    Christie: Yeah that’s my Sunday outfit.

    I also went through a Angelina Jolie from hackers period in my life.

    me: you had short hair?

    Christie: I did. unfortunately. NEVER AGAIN. I have naturally curly wavy hair. Short hair is a diaster. *disaster even

    me: because you seem to like to sport thigh high socks, i thought your answer would be like Rainbow Brite or someone

    Christie: I have an obsession with socks. I have an unhealthy amount of knee high, thigh high socks. Just something I love. They make for good wii-outfits

    me: one needs outfits to fully enjoy wii?

    Christie: Of course. Plus it allows me to slide on the floor during my tennis matches.

    me: ok last topic Suicide Girls, your bff is one?

    Christie: My best friend is one, yes. She’s on there as Tekky. She’s drop dead gorgeous, loves video games, enjoys web designing and is one of the funniest women I have ever met. There is also now currently one house inbetween us. Which leads to shenanigans. She is however deeply into WoW. which I forgive her for.

    me: so what planet are you women from and when do you plan on invading us, because we welcome our sexy videogame-playing funny techy geeky fembot overlords

    Christie: I for one, would love a world of more of those types running around. Feel free to give them my number.

    me: ok wait one last question – do you accept tips from fans of Funny Pages 2.0 – in regards to cool videos that you might like, or web sites, etc? and if so, how should they send them to you?

    Christie: I would love for people to send me tips. I sort of scout out a hundred or so sites a day, and it’s always possible I miss something great. They should feel free to email me and send me whatever they deem amazing and Funny Pages 2.0 worthy.
    They can email me at cstmartin @ gmail

    me: thank you Christie!!

    Christie: [heart] Thank you.

  8. Friday, March 28, 2008
  9. bloggers win again 

    ; aka: up yours, mark cuban

    earlier this month i had the pleasure of meeting dallas mavericks owner mark cuban at the Digg party at sxsw. i had about 30 seconds of his attention so the first thing i asked him to do was take a look at kareem abdul-jabbars blog on the LA Times, and when he didnt immediately walk away i asked him to buy my chicago cubs. he said he would do both things if sam zell would open the books for the cubs.

    but then almost the very next day cuban wrote some crud in his blog about how bloggers arent kewl enough to be in the mavs’ locker room, although he would let the espn.com blogger in there.

    i sorta ignored it, figuring the commish would fine him or talk with him or something. but when the lakers came into town, sure enough cuban cockblocked lakers blogger andy kamenetzky. our complaints joined the chorus of criticisms from other pro bloggers and today the league is forcing cuban to do the right thing. Dallas Morning News:

    The NBA has instructed the Mavericks to re-open the team’s home locker room to properly credentialed full-time bloggers who were banned earlier this month.

    Bloggers, including The Dallas Morning News’ Tim MacMahon, again will be allowed locker room access when the team returns to American Airlines Center for Wednesday’s game against the Golden State Warriors.

    MacMahon, who primarily blogs for The News’ Web site dallasnews.com, was barred earlier this month. Bloggers from ESPN.com’s TrueHoop and the Los Angeles Times also have been turned away. The visitors’ locker room at AAC has remained open to all credentialed media.

    “It’s a new media age, and there are more ways for people to get information than ever before,” said Brian McIntyre, the NBA’s senior vice president for basketball communications. “That creates a lot of challenges for all of us who deal with the media, but we will deal with it.”

    because the owner needs to have the last word on everything, he pouted in only the way he knows how, by blowing it out of proportion:

    Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, who contended the team’s locker room was not large enough to accommodate all bloggers, accepted the league’s edict but added a caveat. Via e-mail, Cuban said the Mavericks will open their locker room to all credentialed bloggers, regardless of affiliation. Mavericks credentials are issued by the team.

    Cuban indicated he believes bloggers should be treated equally, regardless of affiliation.

    “Which means we will encourage all bloggers to apply, whether they be someone on blogspot who has been posting for a couple weeks, kids blogging for their middle school Web site or those that work for big companies,” wrote Cuban, a blogger himself. “We won’t discriminate at all.”

    He then cautioned that locker room time, which translates to access to players, may be divided.

    “We will try to work it out so that all bloggers come in as a group after credentialed media,” Cuban wrote. “This will help us manage the crowds should there be quite a few bloggers.”

    Cuban’s position was challenged by Mike Fannin, president of the Associated Press Sports Editors.

    “With all due respect for the potential journalism talent in the middle school ranks, this rebuttal smacks with the tartness of sour grapes,” Fannin, managing editor for sports and features at the Kansas City Star wrote in an e-mail. “Is this really the standard the NBA wants to set for blogging?

  10. say what you will about this or that, 

    but the LA Times has the best American Idol writers of all. Ms. Ann Powers, and Mr. Richard Rushfield. Today Mr. Rushfield did wonders with the Tragedy of Chikeze. But first, my favorite Chikeze moment on Idol:

    Rushfield wrote:

    On elimination nights, the show pre-tapes one segment, filming about half an hour before the full episode shoots live. The segment includes the viewers’ questions and the guest performer. This week, as we saw, one of the questions went to Chikezie; he was asked if he was single and abashedly answered that, yes, he was very single.

    Half an hour later, the contestants having been sent backstage and then brought out again, the show proper began shooting live (to the East Coast, at least). Within moments, Chikezie was placed on an elimination stool awaiting his fate. The doomed contestant tried to put on a brave face and managed moments of mirth with fellow prospective oustee Syesha Mercado. He joked at the break with Carly Smithson and Brooke White, who were “safe,” and thus visiting from a land across the stage that he could only dream of. But despite his efforts, Chikezie seemed serious and grim throughout most of the hour.

    Finally, about halfway through the show, the lights went dark in the studio as they aired the pre-taped segment. At the beginning of the segment, preserving the pretense that the show is entirely live in chronological order, Angel of Death Ryan Seacrest announces that they are bringing all the contestants back to the couches for the viewer calls. Thus, an hour later, sitting in the shadows alone with Syesha on the most dangerous stool in show business, Chikezie gazed across the stage at the giant monitor, which showed him a mere hour before sitting on the couch with his comrades, laughing, joking, shyly fending off queries about his romantic life — a way he would never be again, on a couch that he would never again call home. The segment had been taped but an hour earlier, but in that hour, how different the world had become for the once mighty Chikezie.

    read the whole thing here. Ann Powers explains that Chikezie’s departure was a black (male) thing. One that has been happening in music for a while