1. Monday, March 3, 2008

    yesterday there was a dude in the street 

    drooling, asking people for help, and wearing a hospital gown

    he didnt have any shoes on and he stood in the middle of Vermont Ave. which is pretty busy, even on a sunday

    he would look over at the hospital that he was just being treated in, but the security guards and fire dudes and ambulance dudes just looked right back

    cars sped by, some honking some swerving

    he would just say to people “can you please help me?”

    so i called 411 on my cell phone to get the Hollywood division of the LAPD but 411 didnt have such a thing, they had a GENERAL cop number and the lady asked, “is that ok?” i said “no thats not ok, youre telling me that AT&T information who probably knows what email i have before i do, doesn’t have a phone number for the hollywood LAPD?” and she said, no we dont have it, heres the general LAPD number.

    i was all, hey LAPD theres a dude in the street in a hospital gown and no one is helping him, not the hospital security people, not the abulance guys – oh wait heres an ambulance – but wait – the security people are waiving the ambulance away from him – LAPD what is the deal?!? they are seeing with their own eyes a man in a hospital gown walking in the middle of a busy street and they arent helping him!”

    the cops said, we will send someone out. thanks.

    and i went to mcdonalds because it was 10:29am and breakfast was gonna stop being served any second. when i came back the dude was still in the street and i drove into where the hospital guys were and i said wtf thats your patient out there causing people to swerve. and they said, he was discharged. i said you let people run around with no clothes on when you discharge em? he said, he didnt wanna put on his clothes, but we called the cops. i said, bros just go get him – when he gets hit you will get him. fuckers gotta get hit these days?

    and i sped off cuz my bacon egg biscuit was getting soggy from the lameness of the security dudes et al