1. Tuesday, April 15, 2008

    it was close to a hundred degrees this weekend here in LA 

    basically it was the first day of summer.

    the good people of hollywood got to sleep with their windows open for the first time in a very long time. so long that even the cars were able to park all day in the shade for free.

    the boys got to run around with no shirts on and the girls got to wear those micro miniskirts that seem to remain in fashion thank the lord. and the homeless pushed their worldly possessions right there down the middle of sunset.

    it was so hot that coca cola sent vans of people to santee alley to give out free bottles of coke to the folks who were buying illegal dvds

    and counterfeit clothes and unlawful bunnies in little plastic cages filled with rabies and soon-to-be dashed dreams. or dinner.

    it was so hot that girls that you arent even making love with will call you up and say lets go to the beach and when you pick them up they dont have any beach clothes and you ask them oh are we skinny dipping and they pull out a flask of love and say maaaaaaybe and you think yes im so gonna get lucky thank you unreal heatwave of sex and you picker up in the palisades

    and you drive through santa monica and you let her take pictures of palm trees out the window and you make it to venice and youre about to park and becuase shes basically anorexic shes already wasted from the rum and she says psssst

    and you say que?

    and she says lets just go to your casa.

    and you say but my casa is messy-a

    and she says lets just go to the snooty fox then

    and you say baby you carry around hand sanitizer in your coach bag you dont wanna go to the snooty fox

    and she pulls you close at a red light in culver city and whispers in your ear and convinces you to find the snooty fox in ten words or less.

    and you drive with the top down listening to satellite radio and this girl knows every song of the big 80s station even though she was born in the middle of the much maligned era

    and she asks you to drive thru the taco bell drive thru before you get to the 405 so you do as youre told and she whispers something in your ear that convinces you to get to a little more swanky hotel than the snooty fox in five words or less

    and she eats her chalupa while lookin at ya

    and by the time you are about to valet

    shes passed out and snoring

    and say what you want, but life is so not boring.