1. Thursday, April 17, 2008

    our good pal danielle k hottie hasnt blawwwwged for nearly a week 

    she and i had a deal that she would blog every day and not just that but she would say something Positive every day on her blog for a week.

    it was an exercise in positive thinking. of positive doing. of positivity. it was an attempt at kickstarting what should be a beautiful life.

    truth of the matter is danielle k does have a beautiful life – shes about to get a masters, shes the hottest babe in san dieger, she has a killer car, she has a beautiful wardrobe, and she is healthy and funny and pretty awesome. and i believe she has two bicycles if not three. with baskets and little bells.

    but what she wants is a man. for some reason she hasnt had the easiest time finding a real man who isnt a dope and who isnt homeless and who will actually call her back after a hot date.

    doesnt seem all that hard but sometimes the Lord gives us challenges. personally i think the Lord wants her to write her story down in a blawg so that when prince charming shows up and sweeps her off her feet she will have half of her story told and then she can start writing the second half and people could go awwww and know what a huge change in her life it all was.

    but thats me, i think everyone should blawg. so since danielle k refuses to write, i will write for her. k? ready… go!

    dear blawwwwg,

    today i tried on four five sun dresses and i looked amazing in all of them. and as i changed clothes i caught myself half naked and damn i looked amazing in that too. so i just lazed around in my garters and matching bra. i saw a butterfly had entered my house somehow looking pretty so i took off my bra and slingshot it at the butterfly cuz only one hot bitch in this apartment and its ME. the butterfly got the hint and scrammed back into the pleasant san dieger clime.

    then my phone rang. it was the pro golfer. he asked me if i had seen him at the masters. i was all yes. he said did you see me scratch my nose? i said um. he said, but danielle, i told you that when i scratch my nose it means im thinking of you. so i said, bitch if you were thinking of me id have some flowers on my kitchen table right now. and i hung up. seconds later there was a knock at the door and it was the florist and whoops.

    then i picked up my favorite book, how to blog by my friend tony pierce. little does he know it but as soon as the summer starts im going to translate it in french because, have you noticed, there are hardly any really great french bloggers. thats gotta change.

    later i rode my cute little bike to the market and this guy who swore he played shortstop for the padres asked me if he could take me to the game. i was all hmmm youre cute, whats your name? he said khalil. this guy looked exactly like a surfer. i said, khalil is a black mans name you big liar. and he was all but but. and i was all, later liar. and i got home, flipped on my cable tv and holy shit there was surfer boy playing short for the pads.

    good thing he slipped his number into my canvas sack.

    time to lay out!