theres a few good things about dating the cougar

dont get me wrong.

for starters, she puts out. which is a plus.
girls a fraction yr age tend to overthink sex instead of doing.
sex is the last thing you should overthink.
overthink poetry or tolstoy or the stock market
overthink the shoes you wanna buy or how to bust a rhyme
overthink ways to write a headline
but sex is like being in the middle of a really nice prom
just dance.
preferably with who brung ya.
brought the cougar to the police at the hollywood bowl.
hollywood smelled.
first i thought it was her cuz shes not 19.
then i thought it was me because i took the subway to her place and cabbed it over.
then i thought it was the yuppies surrounding us on the benches
but if theres one useful thing about those people its they dont smell.
so then i thought it was me again.
elvis costello opened.
they had this huge stage and they packed elvis and his band in this tight spot
like they were commoners.
like they were Fastway opening for AC/DC
(cougar would get that one)
the yuppies stood in line for $8.50 heinekens and $6 merlot and missed e’s greatest hits
the sun set during Alison and Sting came out and sang with the king of america
it was pretty and cool and the cougar took my hand and i pretended like i wasnt feeling it
but why pretend. its not like youre fooling anyone.
police came out and did their greatest hits.
because im old as dirt and actually older than the cougar id seen them do this routine during my fourth concert ever.
(jackson five. acdc. scorpions.)
although stewart was on fire and andy shreded and sting can really play the bass well
and sing divinely
not everything ages gracefully
which is why we drank alot during the show
and why one of my eyes was on the mexican girl in the row ahead of us
who couldnt stop fingering her sidekick.

above, hall n oates at the troubadour last week, via stereogum