i dont know why shes perfect.

wish i did. but maybe im too dumb.

if something terrible happens to me tonight while i sleep. or tomorrow
while i rock. if someone crashes into my house with a tank
or with a mess of bricks in a sock and pounds me.
ive lived. ive loved. and ive been loved.
i had some of the best girlfriends of all.
i asked each of them to marry me. some repeatedly.
and we all know why the lord hardened their hearts.
and so their lives wouldnt be ruined.
and so i would become a blogrrr. (what joy)
when my truest and i were together i stopped writing entirely.
i had little websites that were mostly pictures and sports and everything dumb.
boringness ontop of dullness sprinkled with shit
because all shed have to do was walk into the room
or do the worm in the kitchen
or take a piss in the quiet of the middle of the night
and id sigh.
loudly so shed hear.
shed crawl back in bed and id say
even the way you flushed was hot,
lets do it.
id take pics when she slept
id take pics when she ate
id take pics when shed say quit taking pics.
i would have never believed in love or true loves or hidden angels
let alone soul mates if it werent for her.
i would have never believed what
was if it wasnt for san francisco and the midtown bar
and the dominatrix bartender who poured whatever magic was in that anchor steam that night
the night my truest said ok so is that it between us
and i said pretty much
and she said bs.
she said we’ve only just begun. or maybe that was the carpenters.
either way all the demons in my head that said shes too tall shes too bosomey
shes too sweet shes shiras bff she wears worse clothes than you
shes not the punk rock teen that you think you want
got drunk and shut up and i tooker back to the elegant victorian flat
and that was that for six years straight.
give or take.
christine rene is back from africa
where she saved the world.
im gonna see her in oregon on friday. cuz a week from todays her bday.
i think her parents are gonna let us share a bedroom together.
not sure. but if they dont im gonna sneak into her bedroom.
and im gonna whisper things like this:

and this:

and when shes least expecting it, a little of this shit:

im gonna asker what she learned in africa in regards to esp
mind control, soft breathing
and letting the sexiestness of ones soul float from ones brown eyes
over into the others blue eyes.
and perhaps leak out that ass.
which is why the hand has to cover it up.
like so.


guess who’s new record comes out today?


and guess who got it sent to him a few weeks ago

and has listened to it every damn day?

its awesome, get it, love it.

Ting Tings on tour

6 Jimmy Kimmel Live!
7 San Diego, CA – Casbah
9 Vancouver, BC – Plaza
10 Seattle, WA – Chop Suey
12 San Francisco, CA – PopScene
13 Los Angeles, CA – Troubadour
14 Los Angeles, CA – Zero One
16 Toronto, ONT – Mod Club
17 New York, NY – Apple Instore (Soho)
18 New York, NY – Bowery Ballroom
19 Boston, MA – Great Scott
20 Brooklyn, NY – South Paw
21 Philadelphia, PA – Popped

bloggy rundown of love for a monday

the pants’ bf might or might not be cheating on her (my guess is he aint):

ugh man i went into urgent care today cos i felt crappy all week and got a sore throat too but i am so used to feeling run down that i was like whatever another damn cold or something but then i looked at my throat and it was covered in white shit and i yelled OH GROSSSSSSS and regretted it instantly because it made my throat hurt to yell. seriously that might be the grossest thing i have ever seen, my throat covered in patches of nasty ass white spots.

zulieka’s punchline goes something like this:

I’m a complete novice. I’m just licking at glaciers. I lick them to please myself.

raymi on sex and the city:

oh and i’ll have you know that since blog-dissing sex and the city i have gotten in a huge fight with a friend (resolved now) and THREE facebook SATC gifts, two shoes and 1 martini glass. FUCK OFF YOU GUYS!

heh kidding.

basically my take on that show/movie is, you can be a sexy empowered woman and not look to those characters as role models or representatives for how you feel about men and sex and love, i could not ever get into the show, and i think it’s cos i out-yuppied myself when i was a teenager, too many issues of cosmo and tiny skirts and old men skeletons in my closet to care anymore. plus, i’m kind of a slob.

and evidently all of toronto is wearing yellow dresses now, so thanks for that one too.

sass on being told of an impending awkward situation:

She’s like “Sorry Sass, I have bad news. I just talked to JT and he’s coming with The Fifth.”
OH NO YOU DIDN’T just dawn this on me now!
She makes the ‘I’m sorryyyyyyyy’ squinty face, with a shoulder shrug and nothing-I-can-do hands in the air.
Y’know the one that’s supposed to signify ‘Oopsie daisy. No biggie right? You can’t be mad at me if I make my own face ugly for all of 5 seconds’.

erin just wants to wear short dresses and soccer shoes:

i think that is what i’m going to wear all summer. that is what i’m wearing right now and i am eating a bowl of apple jacks. i don’t even like apple jacks and i am not hungry, but eating apple jacks goes with my outfit and i am a slave to asthetics. if only i was eating these apple jacks in a tennis court i could die happy right now. obviously i got a pair of shoes this weekend that are seriously going to change my life. i think they are going to motivate me to take up speed chess. speed chess in the park in short dresses and soccer shoes!

and those are just a few who posted this weekend who i love.

foto by fil

fourth encore

she twists my nipples in the dark.
i teller i dont like that. i say be gentle.
she forgets the next day.
this morning we woke up tangled nice.
one thing led to several others.
everything was going well, which is something, thankfully,
ive never had to worry about.
especially in the morning.
only thing i ever worry about is the neighbors.
i dont think about them ever except then.
they dont think about me, im sure, their dog shit still litters the lawn.
all a man wants to do is walk to his newspaper in the morning
and not have to worry about a treasure mound.
would it be so impossible to walk in the grass barefoot in america
on a sunday?
would it be so impossible to have the girl youre into
actually remember who shes with?
some of us are sensitive poets
some of us you only have to whisper to,
or look at a certain way
or smile correctly.
or when youre on the subway,
on your way to the cure show
at the hollywood bowl
in a car so packed that she has to sit and you hafta stand
she makes eye contact
parts her legs
a crack

subtley’s my sweet mistress.

twist the nips of yr schoolboys.
taste the lips of your man.