dear tiredness

why are you up in my bidness? why are you all up in my grill? why do you wanna french kiss my soul?

dear television, why are you showing me shrek the third? why are you so beautiful? why do you make everything else literally pale in comparison?

dear hot chick who is now putting back on her clothes, why did you take that personally? dont you know youre already pale in comparison b/c youre pale… because you dont want skin cancer or something? because youre eastern eurpean? because you arent 46 inches diagonal – which is a good thing?

dear clean apartment, why is my maid so excellent? but why does she think its a good idea to cook me a snack of beans, rice and shrimp, and think its ok to put a plate and let it sit out on the counter until i come back home? dont you know im a bachelor, maid? dont you know that means i might not come home for days?

dear slamming door, why do chicks need to treat you so? why must they huff, puff, and slam? didnt they get what they wanted tonight? or was that just a dramatic exeunt into the night? or did she seriously think that i was gonna chase after her just because her body is so fine, so perfect, so driving down sunset in a few minutes cuz im gonna sit right here and blog and watch my more perfect tv?

dear hollywood, why are you so plentiful? why are you still my bff? why do you keep delivering the goods and the drama queens and the mellow temps and the freaky folk, and the random everythings? why have you sucked me in as if i was meant to be here? why are you so wonderful in the midst of wonder? why are you so underrated besides being talked about on every medium every day? why is it that only bukowski captured you, but only in passing, only as a background, only to the trained eye?

dear blog, thank you for staying with me through all of the changes. dont you ever wanna be written by someone more fascinating? dont you want some wild chick to scribble her dreams wishes and rambling actions up in here? why me? dont you know how old i am? dont you know i hit the wall when i was starting shortstop on the little league all star team sometime last century?

dear end of this post, what took ya?

i got the weezer cd for chris the other day

and i cant stop playing this song.

“I am the Greatest Man That Ever Lived”

You try to play cool
Like you just don’t care
But soon I’ll be playin’ in your
I’m like the mage
With the magic spell
You come like a dog
When I ring yo’ bell
I got the money
And I got the fame
You got the hots
To ride on my plane
You givin’ me all
That I desire
’Cos down with me
I’m taking you higher

I’m the baddest of the bad
I’m the best that you’ve ever had
I’m the tops, I’m the king
All the girls get up when I sing, yeah
I’m the meanest in the place
Step up, I’ll mess with your face
I don’t care where you are
Look up and follow the star.

I, I’m gonna tear down the wall
I may not be here when you call
So best be givin’ me your all.(oooooo)

After the havoc that I’m gonna wreak
No more words will critics have to speak
I’ve got the answers to the tangled knot
Sleep tight in your cot.

Oh baby,
I’ve been told I’m goin’ crazy.
Oh baby,
But I can’t be held down.
Oh baby,
Somehow I’m keeping it steady.
Oh baby,
I’m tearin up this town.

Hey, this is what I like,
Cut my heart with a modern spike.
Hey, this is nothing new,
I’ve got more than enough for you.

I can take on anybody
I can do my thing
I don’t wanna hurt nobody
But a bee has got’ta sting
I’ma fix it if you mix it up (Hoo, hoo)
Talk smack, and I’ma gonna shut you up. (Hoo, hoo)

I am the greatest man that ever lived
I was born to give. (I was born to give.)
I am the greatest man that ever lived, oh
Radio a Dio,(Radio a dio)

Somebody said all the worlds is stage,
And each of us is a player.
That’s what I’ve been tryin to tell you.
In Act 1 I was struggling to survive.
Nobody wanted my action dead or alive.
Act 2, I hit the big time.
And bodies be all up on my behind.
And I can’t help myself because I was born to shine.
And if you don’t like it, you can shove it.
But you don’t like it, you love it.
So I’ll be up here in a rage,
’Til they bring the curtain down on the stage.

I’m the greatest man that ever lived…
I’m the greatest man that ever lived…
I’m the greatest man that ever lived…

I am the greatest man that ever lived
I was born to give and give and give.
I am the greatest man that ever lived
Radio a (Dio a) Dio a (Dio a)

I am the greatest ever lived.
I was born to give.

dont drink a bunch of water when youre speaking on a panel

last night i sped across hollywood down sunset to make it to beverly hills during rushhour. that was fun.

making it to the green room and hanging out with max and jason, and getting to meet robert greenwald (who made the vid above) and this cool lawyer from this fancy firm who told me that these fancy people from the nytimes and the wall street journal were fans of mine and the busblog was fun too.

knowing that karisa was sitting in the audience to root me on was fun. representing the LA Times wasnt fun cuz i didnt wanna f up, but far as i know i didnt f up, so that was fun. but half way through realizing that i had just drunk half a bottle of water and now i had to pee wasnt fun.

but it wasnt boring. thats fer sure.

what was interesting was how many times people mentioned LAist. when i worked there and i recruited people to work there i always said, the things you do here will help you sooooo much, i know we dont pay you, but i swear people will read it and more people will read each day, and you will be able to establish yrself in ways that you want. and there it was, and it was true.

and it is true. even though i write a little for the times and i edit a lot, lots of that stuff is so behind the scenes that nooone would ever be able to see it. but the things you write in your own blog or on group blogs like LAist will get seen, and people will make judgements, and if youre a halfway decent blogger they will make positive judgements. it made me very happy. a little proud.

and even in the bathroom this dude from another stall excused himself for asking questions in such an odd room, but asked anyways and we had a very nice conversation about blogging. for a good five minutes.

cuz thats how much water i had apparently dranken.