the peeps have spoken. some in haikus!

so here are their answers

Phaedra: do you eat your chunky soup with a


chunky beef is one of my all time childhood faves. i remember when they first introduced that thing. the fact that you didnt need to add water and you could just pop it in a bowl and click 2 minutes in the microwave was awesome. unfortunately we didnt have a microwave yet. so it took 3 minutes on the stove.

Grace: Tomorrow is National Aboriginal Day in Canada.

Why is the Indigenous population in the United States ignored? How do you propose to change it? Why is there such ignorance on Indigenous populations and stereotypes of the First Peoples such as “they all have casinos” or “they’re drunks”. Why is it never talked about?

They are ignored here because as N.W.A so eloquently said rapped “life aint nothin but bitches and money”. until a native american gets rich, gets on the cover of the sports illustrated swimsuit issue, or has an affair with the president, i dont think anyone will care. yes we are that shallow. i know this because the only time i can be sure to see native americans on television is when its election time and they want to try to save their casinos.

Dave C.:

with josh, cat, and stu all gone
will you lose your way?

flickr was one of the few startups that were able to keep their look, style, quirkiness, and dot-com sensibilities and thrive After they were gobbled up by a major company (in their case Yahoo!). i dont see that going away. is doomed becuase it wasnt all that to begin with, despite the small percentage of internet users who are in love with it.

jetson stamina:

Ever Farted So
Loud you woke youself up and
Had to change the sheets?

Isn’t Haiku a WWF wrester from the 80’s?

im more of a silent but deadly farter. plus i eat more greens nowadays so my stomach does very little farting at all.

Sharp (aka Azreal Darkskies):

the sun is lost
in black secret sky;
is the weather
ever bad there?


Gage: what’s been your best Halloween costume? what’s the last song you “did it” to? Oceans or mountains?

i dressed up as a woman in 7th grade. it was the best because i wore nylons and heels and i learned how ridiculous womens styles are. so now i pity you all.

kayne west, the good life.

oceans are filled with scary beasts that are hidden. so mountains.


Where to find a woman
when a guy feels not his age
I can’t be “that” guy

youre probably already that guy in one way or another. fuck what people think. follow your heart and quit trying to not fall into certain categories. id rather be “that” guy with his dreams fulfilled than the perfect dude on paper who is alone and depressed. as for age, youre as young as your girlfriend feels.


why do you do this
every friday don’t you have
blog material?

i have more material than you can shake a judgmental finger at, mrs minx. i do this on fridays for several reasons. first because its nice to mix shit up. second because the readers are people too and its nice to hear what they are wondering about. third because i am always trying to find new ways to link to my regular readers, and this is a brilliant excuse.


in matt good’s metal airplanes
is the cubs v. socks
lyric for tony?

about a year ago matt and i were in vegas and he sang that song to me on acoustic guitar and i hadnt heard it before. sometimes he would send me demos but in this case i heard it live, just me and him. when i heard him sing that part about the cubs and the sox i smiled cuz i knew he was thinking of me. later he confirmed it. but i disagree with it. i think the cubs would be fine without their crosstown rivals. our real rivals are the cardinals. the sox are in the junior circuit and its hard to really call that baseball.


Why is it so hot ?
Global Warming ? Al Gore was right.
Beers after work at the Standard? It’s on me.

its hot cuz its summer. which doesnt mean that Gore isnt right. he is right, but not cuz of the hottness. cant do the Standard. im more of an Edison dude.


to break up with him
or not to break up with him
that is the question

if you have to ask, the time has probably come, ms nun.

Bob D:

Carlos Zambrano
Has a bad shoulder my friend
What you think ’bout dat?

i hate dat. and i will miss his bat.

lindsay: when are you gonna happy hour again with me and that hott bitch sarah? or 4100 if not happy hour?

every time i drink with you and your hott bitch, you two get sloppy and fight over me and hands are everywhere and i feel like a piece of meat. when we can do this in an orderly, friendly way, then i will drink with you. perhaps there should be a possession arrow like in college hoops.

tonio k.: What’s your favorite shot to drink with hotties at a bar?

i like to savor my drinks, foods, conversations, relationships, everythings. but sometimes shots are in order. in which case i will pound anything since im a gaucho, but if im the one to call the shot i like light rum, any vodka, makers mark, or a good old jd if it looks like i can take out a few fakers quickly.

Mike: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck… nevermind. Are the Yankees turning themselves around for good this time? Bonus question: Aren’t you pissed you didn’t trade me Pujols now?

the whoees? fuck them, fuck joba, fuck mariano, fuck giambi, fuck moose, fuck jeter and a-rod sitting in a tree. im pretty sure if you made a trade for pujols and i didnt pull the trigger you were probably offering me jose offerman or some shit. cuz fuck pujols too.

paul pierce: any thoughts on Lucha VaVOOM?

never seen it. but i did love the jack black ripoff movie of almost the same name.

four years ago this week

how to blog” was written

and the crazy thing is, most of it is still pretty accurate.

if i wasnt lazy and busy and had a house full of guests who are not letting me get into my bedroom, i would maybe re write a few of them, but im so ready to hit the hay

but if i did edit them, obviously 17 would tell you to use Flickr

20 would tell you to use Twitter

and everything else would remain exactly the same.

but you know the craaaziest of all of it, is that even with those slightly slight changes, it’s still either #1 or #2 when you put “how to blog” in google search. which is pretty amazing if you ask me. cuz when i wrote it, i wrote it to piss off my boss at E! who hated me and wanted me to get fired or wanted to fire me or wanted me to get hit by a bus.

and i knew he read my blog and he always tried to make fun of me for blogging, even though he didnt know one thing about it. so as i waited for my coworker to finish some last minute work, i sat down and wrote down the rules for blogging, as egotistically as i could, with my boss in mind.

peoples inspirations fascinate me. and if you ever wonder why the busblog isnt what it used to be, its probably because i dont have any more hate in my life, no more angst in my heart, and no more bird calls to let out. no more here i am here i am. bitches know where i be.

so basically the lesson, for me, at least, is that how to blog, the post, proves that if you decide that your rules are good ones, and no one else has written them, and if you know that most of the people who follow you are gonna be full of shit, then dont be full of shit and just write down exactly what you believe and see if it sticks.

the wikipedians can take down my page, my landlord can steal my parking space, my old boss can eventually fire me, but what remains is something that i wrote in 15 minutes, from my heart. and if you ask me, thats what blogging is all about. and why it will last forever.

photo by sass

her name is sweetness

she lives in a shoe.
said its two for one, said for yr friend too.
duane was downing diet cokes. maybe he had something to pour in them.
maybe someone stopped by a liquor store on sherman way.
maybe we had some tall boys in the parking lot.
maybe somehow my cold magically went away.
maybe it wasnt a cold anymore, maybe it was stress. maybe ive been stressed and didnt know it.
maybe back in the day i was barfing every day and didnt think it was stress
but it twas.
maybe men should realize that theyre not supermen every damn day
even if they secretly work for the xbgay. maybe if they were as in tune with their bodies
and souls they would know why the caged burd sings.
maybe it sings for thee.
maybe sweetness is for me. maybe.
which rhymes with dinosaur jr is on do you knwo them
shes all isnt this van halen
shes all isnt this silver lake
shes all isnt that a finals ticket
shes all isnt this wait are you wait tony pierce?
why have i heard that name.
i was all tell that to duane but duane has his own problems
seems his hands are full seems his dance card is being f’ed with
seems like anythings possible as kevin garnett says
seems like the world is your oyster xcept sometimes its chocolate covered
xcept sometimes its malted xcept sometimes you hafta step outta your
lepard skintight pillbox hat.
xcept sometimes you hafta ask for the sail
as in, come sail away with us. both of yous. whatelse you gonna do.
both of you combined dont equal the ages of me.
how is that even
wait what did you say.
i said blah blah she was all wait what. i was all i bet you blah blah
she was all BET i was all ok if you win you get everything thats in my trunk and wallet
if i win you hafta come back to not silver lake and party with us
its called the age game. and if both of you combined dont equal me
then duane becomes the luckiest tourist in hollywood.
which rhymes with sometimes lifes good.