he may have claimed to have retired

but don “the magic” juan is still a pimp

how do i know this? because when no one was being allowed in at the whisky, not even firemen, cute ones as karisa noted, repeatedly, snoop dogg’s #1 advisor, don “the magic” juan, and his homeboy, and their two female companions, checked in at the ticket booth and then had a few words with the folks manning the door, and were allowed entrance.

me with my press pass, my badge, my iron maiden long sleeve, and my awe were left outside on the curb. apparently, and probably to the joy of my dear mother, i dont have any pimp juice.

which is probably one reason i woke up this morning at the cougars house as ive been finding myself rising one weekend after the other.

she says it bothers her when i sneak out in the mornings so i flip on her tv, put on the wireless headphones and watch a movie. her bedroom tv is the same size as mine – way too big. so its enjoyable. but theres something about her house that makes me watch the oddest films that id never watch at my bachelor pad.

this morning for example i found myself totally captivated by kerri russell in Waitress. a film that was excellent until it didnt really know how to end. if you ask me it had the perfect ending but then went on about 5 minutes too long. which is fine. it made me wanna go to the house of pies today and gorge. but after i saw myself on the matthew good birthday video i dont think my double chins need any more help.

i knew it was an unflattering camera angle, but whatevs, i was trying to dole out the opposite of a “happy” birthday. i wanted something dark and creepy cuz duane said that a lot of people were going to contribute and i figured that theirs would be all chirpy and sweet and i wanted to add a little something different. duane did a great job of piecing all the bits together.

so here i am back in my messy lair. ive escaped the coug. my day is all wide open for me. i could clean up this sty, do laundry, read the entire paper. or i could go see a real movie at a real movie theatre and do my best not to think about the millions of things i wanna do at work this week. its the day of rest, the bible says. and if you dont take it you have sinned.

im such a sinner you have no idea. but not enough, i guess, to get past the velvet rope of rock.