1. Monday, July 21, 2008

    as you know nothing in here is true 

    thus i dont still secretly work for the xbi, i dont still have a flying car, i dont occasionally date cheerleaders and a woman nicknamed the cougar, and im not hopelessly happily head over heals in love with blogging.

    but i do love laying in bed on sunday mornings doing absolutely nothing.

    so when the xbi called and said get to chopper one asap i ignored em.

    when the cheerleaders knocked on my window waking the cougar and myself, i politely excused myself from the sack and told them to come back tomorrow when the coast would be clear.

    and when the cougar got dressed and slammed the door in a huff as she sped back off to the wesssside i made myself a little breakfast of 99 cent store english muffins with 99 cent store cream cheese, downed the rest of the doritos i had in the house, and drank oj right from the bottle as i read every page in the paper.

    some women have a funny idea that some men Dont wanna be alone after being overstimulated all week.

    some women seem to think that hdtv and chinese food doesnt make up for everything. some women seem to think that no way could those be cheerleaders until they hear them for the first time and shards of pom poms are left behind as a not so subtle calling card.

    because nothing in here is true and the cougar reads this, i dont like those cheerleaders. not in that way.

    i like them as friends.

    as really fun friends. as friends who keep me laughing and happy.

    im old enough to be their grampa.

    thats why i let them sit on my lap.

    thats why i give them money when they ask. thats why i have unconditional love for them. thats why they love me back.

    and just another reason i love blogging with all my heart.