1. Wednesday, July 2, 2008

    ever since i was little i wanted to write 

    maybe its because i was so bored at school and there was the pen and there was the paper and theyd beat you if you got up and walked around
    or theyd try to embarrass you if you fell asleep.
    but for some reason they left you alone if you wrote.
    id write the most amazing stories.
    my favorite character in these day dreams was a guy named Bryn Speed.
    the teacher had just taught us about symbolism so i thought i was cute by having his initials be BS, since thats what i was doing, etc.
    because im a million years old i dont remember any of Bryns old stories
    except for one.
    apparently one day Bryn was flying the space shuttle. he had hotwired it.
    his side kick was an old english sheepdog with was faintly like my first dog.
    his dog was called Phydeaux because i was so damn clever. and in high school.
    Bryn and Phydeaux in this story went into space in the space shuttle
    and pointed the craft into a black hole because they had heard that if you go thru
    a black hole, you would end up in a new universe.
    it was sorta like hyperspace on Asteroids without hitting the button.
    they make it to the new universe, park the shuttle next to a bar
    and inside the bar meet a girl who’s pink, head to toe.
    bryn has a drink with her and when he puts his hand on one of her many knees
    realizes that his arm has turned blue. and not just his arm but his hand
    he panics and asks if she has a mirror in her purse, she whips one out
    and sure enough he has completely turned blue.
    he was all, what was in that drink?
    she was like, just beer, but isnt it cool that it can change your skin color like that
    but bryn didnt think it was very cool and started panicking even more
    phydeaux, sensing the freak out, started barking, and everyone noticed them freaking
    and the girl said, dude if you dont like it, just take a leak
    so they run into the restroom, bryn takes a wizz and his natural color returns to him
    they go back to the bar and the girl is signing the bill of her tab
    totally unimpressed and says, so is that what earths like, people obsessed with skin color?
    and phydeaux said, not me, all i care is your ass smells nice and shitty.
    and then id end the stories with The End.
    then id draw a picture, fold it up, and give it to the prettiest girl in class.

    today i stayed at the office till after midnight.

    because thats where the best writers are
    and i never want to stop learning.