1. Tuesday, July 22, 2008

    why didnt i think she had a boyfriend? 

    of course she would have a bf. bfs are a dime a dozen these days. bfs are the new black.

    but what about black boyfriends?

    maybe i didnt think she had a boyfriend cuz when i asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me she said sure.

    ive had a few gfs in my day and you know how many went to dinner with a stranger? maybe life is different these days. maybe her facebook was inaccurate. maybe hes at war. maybe hes stuck in traffic. maybe hes not attentive to her needs.

    maybe he doesnt eat dinners. maybe hes obsessed with the upside down triangle where you gorge for breakfast, have a sensible lunch and hardly any dinner. maybe thats how he keeps his girlish figure, and his girl.

    then whys she having dinner with tony pierce. clearly a man with an agenda. obviously a man who’s hypnotizing skills are capable of convincing a young lady that shes sleepy very sleepy. your eyes are getting heavy. oh so heavy.

    now listen. break up with your dude. you know hes not right for you. you know he doesnt drive a 14 year old car with a leaky oil thing. and if he does it doesnt have a satelite radio in it and oh so many stories.

    your eyes are still heavy and you know in yr heart that pretty boys just lead to misery and woe. that dudes with flat stomachs lead to stomach aches and night shakes. so heavy yr eyes. how do you keep them open?

    one thing all yr pretty bfs cant give you is the new paul westerberg album called 49:00 for 49 cents. does merle even know who paul westerberg is? when he talks about his boom boom music does it make yr eyes get heavy? maybe not. girls hate music pretty much. this one told me she hates aerosmith. i was all am i dreaming? is this a daymare? aerosmith? i probably listen to aerosmith every day.

    these dogs dig these holes in my courtyard. first the dogs pooped everywhere. then they ate my newspaper. now these different dogs are digging ginormous holes all over the courtyard. do people have any sense? wouldnt you think if you saw a really nice courtyard when you moved into a place and then a week or two later when you saw a huge hole and dirt everywhere and then another huge hole, huger than the first, and way more dirt all over, and maybe dirt on your dogs’ paws and noses you might say huh.

    do you really not do something about it?

    huh, she has a boyfriend. do i really not do something about it? do i ignore like my neighbors and their dirty dogs?

    do i ignore that my favorite singer has a new record out and it cost less than two quarters? no, i do something about it. i download it. i listen all night as i type to the world. and heres my review:

    forty nine thousand times better than all the last radiohead albums combined.

    clearly something phenomenal is happening with paul westerberg as this is easily the best work he’s done since Pleased to Meet Me.