busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, August 31, 2008

    i got a phone call yesterday 

    from a republican friend who said that he was sure that all my liberal friends were shaking in their boots because of sarah palin

    i reminded my friend that my liberal friends dont wear boots, that most of them live in california. they wear sandals or sneakers. and i told them that the last time that any of them were nervous, lets say, about a soccer mom was when one was heard climbing the stairs as they were humping their daughter.

    does it frighten me that a woman like sarah palin might be a heartbeat away from being the president?

    it doesnt bother me one bit. but i have noticed more blogging spittakes surrounding this woman than anyone ive ever seen at any time. from rumors that as mayor she fired her police chief and librarian because they werent gonna vote for her, to the admission that she flew from texas to seattle to alaska after her water broke she started leaking fluid (i am learning there is a difference), to how she liked ron paul over mccain, to how she loves to kill things, to how her husband and son arent registered republicans, to how she is bffs with ted stevens to … so many things, heres a crazy list if you need to catch up.

    is all of this based out of sexism? or is this woman really not at all qualified and has many questionmarks in her closet?

    all i know is i never got to make out with more women out of my league than during the bush administration.

    so i got no probs with the vpilf as the kids are saying, infact most of my liberal friends are in comedy or screen writing or entertainment and they should pray for mccain/palin because the material would be amazing. just look at jon stewart’s comedy nipples get hard.

  2. hey look its my favorite wonketter 

    (next to ken layne).

    its sara k smith and her sidekick “jim”!

    wonkette is on fire and in the belly of the beast in st. paul for the rnc convention slash telethon(?!). they got screwed cuz the prez aint comin now, the vice prez aint comin now, the governator aint comin now. heck they’ll get lucky if the dream ticket arrives.

    but theres plenty of free parking!

    see, read wonkette for an hour and the snark flows right out. and mccain picking governor palin was like an early christmas gift for wonkette. seriously though the sweetest thing to happen in the blogosphere this year was nick denton selling wonkette to ken layne for a bag of magic beans.

    however, as happy as i am to see that sk and jim (who “covered” gov. palin way back in may) are at the convention, where is our man dan? this picture above is clearly taken by a drunkard with a very dirty iPhone. wheres ole dan and his fancy imported long lens?

    americas hottest blogger needs to be exploited photographed in a professional manner! i want some proper lighting, some Leica or Nikon love for our girl. i saw better pixel resolution off that mars lander. wtf!

  3. hey its my two favorite dutchies 

    my space bar is broke on my laptop so ifyousee wordsmushedtogether then you know im not drunk. it seems like the right side of the button is bad not the left so im using my left thumb. and it seems to be doing the job.

    anyways since todays sunday lets say a little prayer to our friends in the gulf coast.

    theres a blowhard on cnn rambling on about how hes getting info on “twitter and myspace”. hes telling his director about this or that. a real roll up your sleeves and lets “go forward” on this breaking story. sorta disgusting sorta alpha male fascinating. as if he wants to literally strangle the hurricane himself and provide play by play on how he’s doing it.

    comedy on what will surely be a tragic story in no time.

    i also dont trust that thats all his own hair.

    there was a time when i wasnt so cynical. hard to remember that far back but im sure it wasnt the day i was spanked into life. which is why i admire my dutch friends in the photo. intelligent, alert, but optimistic. neither of them think about america as a goal in their lives.

    maybe vancouver for justagirl. maybe paris for bicyclemark.

    dont they know this is the greatest country in the world? dont they know that here you can be the mayor of a town with as many people as can sit in the bleachers of wrigley field and then become governor and before your first term is over you can be a heartbeat away from president? (and what a heartbeat, indeed.)

    that doesnt happen in paris. or canaduh. sorry yo.

    once upon a time, back when i was idealistic, i was told that anyone could be presidnet of the united states.

    im finally starting to believe that again.

    thank you america.

  4. Saturday, August 30, 2008

    the questions for ask tony were decidedly, um hot, it appears 

    must be the canadian heatwave. lets do this.

    Keira-Anne: Tony, what’s your secret to ssssssexiness?

    for guys: be funny, confident, brave, and be a good listener. for girls: be positive, femnine, and dont be afraid to piss off the other ladies in the room by the length of your skirt.

    Sarah: What’s sexier: playing hard to get or laying everything out on the table?

    when i was in high school there was a girl who was way taller than me, way -lets say… thicker – than me, but she had the prettiest eyes and would always call me cutie. “when is cutie tony gonna take me to the rocky horror picture show” shed sigh as shed walk past my locker. that stuff works. still does because letting the other person know youre interested is just one of the first parts of the whole deal. you still have to see how everything else goes. but you never get to that part till both parties know that its on.

    Anonymous: Tony, Science Blog has long linked to you!

    and im very grateful to ben and his posse. scienceblog not only is a tribute to bens sticktoitness (its one of the oldest science-based blogs on the web) but its proof that the santa barbara mafia is far more wide reaching than what most people even think.

    raymi: teeny pitiful peener OR humongously wide-set vagin’er?

    some say the best bloggers have both. is that your hidden secret raymi? :)

    Mike: What’s the meaning of life?

    42, duh. why do you think that number is retired through all of baseball?

    bloopy: do you think the upcoming election will basically come down to race?. . . ‘cuz the media seems to be avoiding the issue, but to me it seems like outside of states like california and new york, the fact that obama is black might be the deciding factor. . .

    i think the upcoming election will basically come down to the thing that it always comes down to – trust. the far left will never vote for a republican, even one like mccain who even most of the right arent in love with. the far right will never vote for a dem, even one who is popular, well spoken, and sorta magical like barry hussien. so it comes down to the middle: those who at one point were called reagan democrats, or undecideds, or swing staters. do those people trust that “change” wont ruin the country, or do those people trust that more of the same will finally shake itself out.

    lily: describe yourself in one word or less.

    topless.

    timmay!!!!!: why the lame country song after the decent speech?

    black folk like to show off. i dont know if youve noticed. that huge stadium was a showoff. that set was a showoff. and the choice of biden to talk trash for the next two months is the flava flav of bringing the noise. so to have the nads to, in a way, steal away a Brooks n Dunn tune for the Obama “how y’a(ll) like me now was genius because mccain cannot bust with the hip hop once the balloons fall. which is further proof that the uniter is that mixed raced boy with the funny name. of course i would have picked skynyrd. or worse “born in the usa” since mccain was born in panama.

    Patrick: Used to live in the ‘wood and coming down for 2 days tomorrow. can people still roam around the errol flynn estate? is boardners still there? where is the best place on hollywood boulevard to eat now?

    not sure about errol, but boardners is still there. but massively remodeled. you wont even recognize it. the best place to eat on hollywood blvd is Palms Thai on 5900 Hollywood Blvd. which has moved out of thaitown and closer to the henry fonda music box.

    4rilla: I know you had a profound post Katrina experience in NOLA. Have you checked out pictures of the murals that Banksy has been putting up around town? Thoughts?

    i had not seen those, so thanks 4rilla. yes i was moved when i visited new orleans a few summers ago. and im glad that banksy is reminding people that not a lot has changed down there. i think hes a talented and powerful artist and social commentator so im glad hes bringing his spotlight to where it needs to be.

    zona: do your drapes match your carpet?

    i have mexican blankets as drapes in the living room, sheer white drapes in the boudiour, and nothing in the bathroom (hi neighbors!). i have hardwood floors with oriental carpets from target and ikea here and there. so yes.

    adriel: hahahahaha. um….let’s see. am i too picky? or are there really that many tards running loose in this town? also is it harder for a man to love God than a woman?

    you might be too picky. but there also might be a lot of tards in your town. i know a few people in this world. but very few are single nontard men. it doesnt surprise me that women kiss each other these days, or that its not hard for me to find a date at the last minute. seems to be a buyers market for dudes who are tard-lite if not tard-free.

    Phaedra: what’s sexier – lingerie, or au natural?

    i know some women friends who are all “why should i bother with lingerie, my guy will just rip it off in seconds.” i dont understand those dudes. when we go to a club, isnt part of the show looking at all the ladies and their fancy outfits? when we go to the beach, isnt part of the joy checking out the variety of bikinis? why would it be any different in the bedroom, the dining room table, or the floor? maybe im more visual than even the average man, but to me theres nothing hotter than getting picked up at the airport, driving home and while zooming down the 405 placing my hand on the thigh of my lady friend and noticing theres a garter strap there which leads to something a little special.

    PatZ: which is more fashionable; the Borat swimsuit, or the Seinfeld manziere?

    part of the education i got at ucsb was the idea that as great as ee cummings was, his style was sooooo unique that you couldnt build from it, you could only imitate it. i feel that was about the borat onepiece. wear that and people will think Borat and only Borat. thus, once again, seinfeld wins.

    Sharp (aka Azreal Darkskies): Is there a favourite piece of LA graffiti for you?

    theres lots of great LA street art. my favorite is really close to my house, and thats the Elliott Smith tribute wall in between Malo and McDonalds on sunset. i am not a huge fan of his music, but i really appreciate how it started, how its been maintained, and how important it has become to his fans.

    Lemei: if you were a coffee, what kind of coffee would you be?

    i dont like coffee. i dont like coffee ice cream either. i like the smell of it. i dont mind hot chinese gurl coffee breath in the morning. but if i was a coffee id be hot chocolate. with whipped cream. and a cherry on top named lemei.

    photo of the mannequin in lingerie by james, bottom photo by lush.i.ous

  5. Friday, August 29, 2008
  6. Thursday, August 28, 2008

    your favorite soon-to-be film about pelvic exams is a finalist in a contest 

    and you can help it win $10,000 today, which in turn will help countless numbers of women

    you may remember this interview i did with my great friend AJ in january. she is muscle behind At Your Cervix, the documentary about making pelvic exams comfortable and respectful.

    the film shows some controversial and revolutionary approaches to teaching doctors how to better treat the women that they examine.

    aj and “at your cervix” is in the last stages of finishing up and they need some funding to complete everything. there are two ways that you can help this really interesting and super important film

    either you can flow them some cash via paypal

    or you can do something that wont cost you anything other than about 45 seconds of your time:

    a site called Ideablob is giving $10,000 away to an idea (like this film) that gets the most votes. to vote for At Your Cervix, which is now a finalist in the contest, you just sign in to ideablob, all they ask for is a username and a password and an email address. then they send you a confirmation email which you click. then you vote. it all takes under a minute.

    so help out women everywhere by helping out aj and this great film.

  7. job well done 

    today barack obama, the first black man to win the nomination of the democratic party, accepted and gave a pretty good speech.

    today john mccain, a war hero, and a guy who is about accept the nomination from his party in a few days, delivered a really good ad.

    as they say on the interwebs [this is good]

  8. if you live in LA you might see a familiar face on the cover of Metromix 

    yes thats our very own Ali Miller, formerly of LAist, now writing music and tech for Metromix, and clearly now doing a little extra credit modeling for the free weekly newspaper.

    one of the little surprises working here was getting to meet the metromixers, who are all super cool, very smart, extremely hard-working, and who are providing a younger injection of coverage that most daily newspapers cant/wont/dont supply.

    ali, a native valley girl who also writes a video game blog called Guitar Heroine was a perfect fit with metromix(as was sarah a.) as soon as she was hired over there. shes always down for whatever and im glad that they’re not just putting her copy on the cover but also her hotness. truth be told pretty much everyone in that office could make the cover, but thats beside the point.

    you may have seen ali on the busblog when she met sarah silverman, when she rocked out with me at the camper van/soul aslyum/sunset strip fest, or when i hosted one of many laist bbqs

    kudos, ali.

  9. theres good people on this planet 

    maybe theyre harder to find in hollywood. maybe theyre easier to find in your neck of the world. for some reason ive never had problems finding them. maybe its cuz i dont care what people look like what sorta clothes they wear what sorta bus they ride.

    work has been hard lately. i dont know why. same job. we’re gonna do record numbers again. maybe its hard cuz ive been staying up every night during the olympics helping out and now staying up for the elections too.

    plus the cheerleaders knock on the front door tap on the windows and bang on the back door.

    i dont perform with any of the magic that i used to.

    they dont care. or they dont notice.

    or have never seen what its supposed to be like.

    its supposed to be otherworldly. youre supposed to weep a little after.

    youre supposed to shake a lil. youre supposed to change.

    youre supposed to die a smidge.

    maybe youve been in slam pits. maybe youve been in some situations where you didnt know what was gonna come next. maybe you knew there was danger ahead. and you floored it there. its supposed to be a little like that.

    or a lot like that. its supposed to be so good so bad so

    private

    that youre supposed to have a secret afterwards. you shouldnt be able to talk about it at work. you shouldnt be able to blog about it and you definatly shouldnt be able to explain every detail to your mom.

    you shouldnt roll over afterwards and say

    k wanna play wii now?