some times i feel like ziggy stardust

some times i feel like that fake singer andy kaufman used to play tony clifton, some times i feel like flava flav, but often i feel like george clinton.

i think, i must be from another planet. i must be from another time. things happen around me and to me and at me and i think there just has to be a camera on me, this is clearly an episode of punk’d this is obviously the new candid camera.

but no one jumps out of the ceiling, people dont laugh and applaud and some douche yells cut, people just keep walking or talking or blahblahblahing and i drive home heat up some chinese and stare at the ceiling thinking wtf wtf wtf.

the ceiling cat says why dont you touch yrself and im all didnt you hear me, i said wtf.

thing is, if im gonna accept babes way outta my leauge, and the cubs still in first place despite doing everything they can to blow it, and the bears ruling, and my friends being amazing, and my job being unreal, then i hafta accept the unbelievable bs nonsensical wtfs that find their way in my daily deeds. its only fair.

but still i question it. at 101 years old, do i still not know my environment that well? am i still surprised by the utter randomness that people think and say. surely theyre just trying to get a rise from me. they cant really believe that.

like for example i dont care which “party” wins the presidency, but who are these people who are going to vote for mccain because theyre pissed off that hillary couldnt beat obama? seriously who are they? i say give them their own tv series because theyre unlike any logical person ive ever met, and i wanna see what else they do in life. like when they find out that they hafta wait three months for a hybrid do they say f it and lease a hummer?

i wish i was that unpredictable. i look at myself and i think – most obvious most predictable most boring man alive. just look at me in that picutre above. cubs hat (like you couldnt guess), polo shirt (!), mojito. bor-ring. wheres the punk rock aesthetics. wheres the sense of style. wheres the slap in the face from the babe because of the wandering hands? all there is is what youd imagine there is – dullard and hot babe.

i like that picture because it says so much about me. thats the same shirt i woulda worn in high school. those are the same $5 sun glasses, and thats the same hat. i love rum so thats the drink i woulda had, and because God is wonderful, the girl next to me is 234534 times cooler than i deserve, but such is the path the Lord has always had me on. i dont understand that neither.

whats the point of this post? who knows. life is weird. maybe thats the point. as if you needed me to say it. but just know if youve been feeling it and you sometimes feel alone and disenfranchised, just know that i feel it too. a lot. and heres to hoping that one day our spaceship picks us up and flies us home to where things make perfect sense.

AC/DC to rock again!

October 28 – Wilkes-Barre, PA – Wachovia Arena

October 30 – Chicago, IL – Allstate Arena

November 3 – Indianapolis, IN – Conseco Fieldhouse

November 5 – Detroit, MI – Palace of Auburn Hills

November 7 – Toronto – Rogers Centre

November 9 – Boston, MA – TD Banknorth Garden

November 12, 13 – New York, NY – Madison Square Garden

November 15 – Washington, D.C. – Verizon Center

November 17 – Philadelphia, PA – Wachovia Center

November 19 – East Rutherford, NJ – IZOD Center

November 21 – Columbus, OH – Schottenstein Center

November 23 – Minneapolis, MN – Xcel Energy Center

November 25 – Denver, CO – Pepsi Center

November 28 – Vancouver, BC – General Motors Place

November 29 – Seattle, WA – Key Arena

November 30 – Tacoma, WA – Tacoma Dome

December 2 – Oakland, CA – ORACLE Arena

December 6 – Los Angeles, CA – The Forum

December 10 – Phoenix, AZ – US Airways Center

December 12 – San Antonio, TX – AT&T Center

December 14 – Houston, TX – Toyota Center

December 16 – Atlanta, GA – Philips Arena

December 18 – Charlotte, NC – Time Warner Arena

Tickets for upcoming US dates will go on sale the weekend of September 20th at Ticketmaster and the band’s website, Additional appearances thru North and South America, and Europe, will be announced shortly.

h/t Timmmmmay!!!

sometimes i think the terrorists have won

sometimes i think about osama bin laden and i think if he was alive he’d be saying ha ha america via his audio tape or video tape. but then i think pretending hes dead is just naive. like elivs hes alive. if not in body, definitely in spirit.

there are ugly holes where glory once stood. there are literal scars in our largest city. seven years later we have lost more than buildings and a few thousand innocent americans. we’ve lost more than i have ever experienced during my lifetime.

and by we, i mean pretty much the whole globe. if new york city and the pentagon arent safe, in broad daylight, then who or what is safe?

osama, if hes alive, appears safe. we wont even go into pakistan to “hunt him down”. we blew up mosques in iraq, whats so holy about pakistan?

every year i obsess over this day and all that comes up are more questions. and really, what answers have come about since 9/11/07? have we learned nothing new? have our tax dollars really gone for nothing in a year, in two years, in three? what has the torture, the extradition, the waterboarding, the domestic spying, the international spying, the wars, the money, the “intelligence” gotten us in the last few years? every 9/11 they should tell us.

in life, at work, at play, on tv, every now and then you might say “you know what, something sure seems fishy here. someone really isnt telling me something.” after 7 years they should start telling us stuff.

and im a peaceful man, but if dude is really in pakistan, and if we know it, and if pakistan wont let us in, if indeed they are protecting and harboring the alleged mastermind behind all of what we think of when we think of this infamous date, then i say they open up the draft.

a temporary draft.

one where you can sign up for however long as you want to be over there. sorta like how radiohead charged whatever you wanted to pay for their new record. draft for as long as you can take it.

and you go to boot camp, you learn all the things you have to learn, you get in shape, and you get flown over to the border of pakistan. you and the probably 5 million other yous that want to find this guy and like you were willing to join the temporary draft.

and then on that certain date, everyone bum rushes pakistan and all 5 million start doing their thing. and i bet you one of two things happen. someone either turns him over or we find him in no time because if i go to hunt bin laden during a war, im warring. im pissed im not in LA, im pissed its been more than 7 years. im pissed but im focused. and ive come screaming for vengeance.

and i bet there are fellow likeminded folk like me.

but for some reason it seems like the decision makers of this country are perfectly content not to go where the real evil is. and that confuses me and makes me distrust. and when you distrust your own, then maybe evil has prevailed.

for now.

and that doesnt feel so great either.