1. Sunday, September 7, 2008

    i took off from blogging yesterday to help the cubs win 

    totally worked. so heres your answers to axe tony

    leah: tony, who are you going to vote for?

    i was thinking about The Steps cuz they got that hockey mom on backup vocals, and you know, shes spunky. then i was thinking about Mingo Fishtrap cuz you can anagram their name into Farming His Pot. but after further consideration, im leaning toward Quiet Company cuz they rock.

    Sharp: Do you ever get tired of us know-it-all Canadians who claim to know how to run the USA better than anybody in the USA?

    canadians can speculate all they want. but theres one thing they have to do before they can say anything: allow beer sales in their grocery stores and gas stations. until booze is set free in the great white north, no cannuck can talk any trash on us.

    Bob D: Answers to Abe questions Yes yes yes no no. Question…TP I am starting to get that all too familiar pain in the pit of my stomach as I hear of Zambrano’s tendinitis and Harden’s missed turns in the rotation, so my question to you is how many marshmellows do you think Rick Reuschel can fit in his mouth?

    the correct answer is zero because The Whale doesn’t put marshmellows in his mouth, they go directly down his throat and into his gut. but thank you for the trick question. meanwhile, secure me a world series ticket cuz im coming out there in rocktober to get this damn thing done.

    adriel: is there anything i CAN’T DO???

    you cant fly to LA in a catholic girl skirt. for my birthday.

    zona: Sharp. who DOESN’T? Yo Tone’, would you support a law prohibiting true blondes from shaving “down there”?

    as a borderline libertarian i value individual freedom in ways that most people probably consider ridiculous. for example, i think a man should be able to paint his house any color he wants. with that said, the first time i ever encountered a true blonde i was 19, i think. these were in the days before people shaved. and when all was revealed in the backseat of my cadillac i swear it looked like a cloud floating above paradise. today it would look like – something totally different. although i would vote against such a law, if one was passed i would be interested to see how they would enforce such legistlation.

    Andrea: What are your thoughts on girls in glasses?

    girls look great in anything. ties, boots, scuba gear, top hats. when i used to work with karisa she would sometimes wear glasses and i told her that she looked better in them than without them. she didnt believe me. but twas true.

    Harold: How did you do this at the LA Times?

    pure luck. the portion that i participated in, at least. by luck i mean, i am lucky to have a genius boss, im lucky to work around brilliant people, and im lucky that our bloggers are all pretty fantastic writers who work extremely hard. its a perfect storm of rock over there which is why readership is higher than ever in our history.

    Phaedra: If you were to participate in a triathlon, which leg would you do – swimming, running, or cycling? And when are you coming back to Vancouver. I missed out last time apparently, or so I’ve been told

    im a terrible swimmer, and i dont see the point of running. i would do the cycling part on my mountain bike and ollie over fire hydrants and potholes. im never going back to vancity.

    Sharp (aka Azreal Darkskies): one more! What are your thoughts on bottled water?

    when i was a kid i would drink water out of faucets, out of garden hoses, id roll up snowballs and eat that too. sometime around college i started hating water unless it was disguised as Budweiser. it wasnt until bottled water arrived that people, including myself, cut down on sodas and started drinking plain old water, which is better for us. yes they have to burn a lot of gas to deliver us the water, and they have to figure out what to do with the bottles once we toss them in the garbage. but i say lets burn all the gas so we can move on, and i believe that one day all those empties will fuel our homes. so thank you evian, arrowhead, et al.

    David: do long distance relationships ever work tony? and will the rays stay on top or fizzle down the stretch? the bosox are only 2 and a half back…

    ive never had a long distance relationship work out. maybe temporarily, but not in the long run. the Lord has made lots of people. make out with one who lives near you. american league is boring. theyre only competing to see who will lose to the cubbies, so i hope the white sox get it together so we can do it right.

    Lewis: Has the experiment in democracy honored by the mf-er Lincoln lost all legitimacy and is it beyond repair? That is, r we tools to think digital tools, ie a digital commons, is strong enough to re-vive it, pleazzzeee, let’s not believe the hype, right?


    aj: tony – what’s up with the cubs?

    the cubs are doing exactly what you should do when you’re playing pinball. you should push and pull the machine until it tilts. you should let a few balls bounce around the table and watch them drain. you should try to aim at every corner of the machine to see how everything works and reacts. the cubs are seein how every man performs in every situation. theyve even used zambrano as a pinch hitter. its ok that hes a little hurt. they all should be. but he will be back in time for the stretch run, and most importantly the playoffs. all will be well.bloopy: as much as i’d like obama to win, i can’t help but think mccain is gonna win purely ‘cuz he’s a white dude running for office in a relatively intolerant and ignorant country. . . plus i’m kind of concerned that with congress approval ratings being in the toilet, there might be a switch back to a republican majority with a republican president. . . got any thoughts to boost my confidence in obama’s ability to win the presidency?. . . or at least to boost my confidence that we won’t have another four years of an all-republican government?

    obama has already presented himself to america. theres nothing more he can do to win. now america has to decide if they are ready for a charismatic educated black man. one day it will be. maybe that time is now, maybe it isnt. but this country isnt going to get a smarter brotha than barry, the question is, does that freak people out or inspire them?

    i dont think congress will go back to the gop. of the two conventions, the dems had a more interesting presentation but more people watched mccain. but we’re still in iraq, our economy is still in turmoil, and gas still cost triple what it did not too long ago. i think most people think of Bush when they think about iraq and the fuel pump. and if they do, like-minded republicans will probbaly continue to be punished at the ballot box.

    Phil: Tony if you had to sell your soul, what would you want for it?

    if i *had* to sell my soul, i would want to be able to play guitar as well as hendrix. you can do a lot of good in the world with music.