some times i feel like that fake singer andy kaufman used to play tony clifton, some times i feel like flava flav, but often i feel like george clinton.
i think, i must be from another planet. i must be from another time. things happen around me and to me and at me and i think there just has to be a camera on me, this is clearly an episode of punk’d this is obviously the new candid camera.
but no one jumps out of the ceiling, people dont laugh and applaud and some douche yells cut, people just keep walking or talking or blahblahblahing and i drive home heat up some chinese and stare at the ceiling thinking wtf wtf wtf.
the ceiling cat says why dont you touch yrself and im all didnt you hear me, i said wtf.
thing is, if im gonna accept babes way outta my leauge, and the cubs still in first place despite doing everything they can to blow it, and the bears ruling, and my friends being amazing, and my job being unreal, then i hafta accept the unbelievable bs nonsensical wtfs that find their way in my daily deeds. its only fair.
but still i question it. at 101 years old, do i still not know my environment that well? am i still surprised by the utter randomness that people think and say. surely theyre just trying to get a rise from me. they cant really believe that.
like for example i dont care which “party” wins the presidency, but who are these people who are going to vote for mccain because theyre pissed off that hillary couldnt beat obama? seriously who are they? i say give them their own tv series because theyre unlike any logical person ive ever met, and i wanna see what else they do in life. like when they find out that they hafta wait three months for a hybrid do they say f it and lease a hummer?
i wish i was that unpredictable. i look at myself and i think – most obvious most predictable most boring man alive. just look at me in that picutre above. cubs hat (like you couldnt guess), polo shirt (!), mojito. bor-ring. wheres the punk rock aesthetics. wheres the sense of style. wheres the slap in the face from the babe because of the wandering hands? all there is is what youd imagine there is – dullard and hot babe.
i like that picture because it says so much about me. thats the same shirt i woulda worn in high school. those are the same $5 sun glasses, and thats the same hat. i love rum so thats the drink i woulda had, and because God is wonderful, the girl next to me is 234534 times cooler than i deserve, but such is the path the Lord has always had me on. i dont understand that neither.
whats the point of this post? who knows. life is weird. maybe thats the point. as if you needed me to say it. but just know if youve been feeling it and you sometimes feel alone and disenfranchised, just know that i feel it too. a lot. and heres to hoping that one day our spaceship picks us up and flies us home to where things make perfect sense.