1. Saturday, October 11, 2008

    dont ask me how i got here 

    dont ask me who im with.

    dont ask me how long ive known her.

    dont ask me what we did last night.

    dont ask me what happened this morning.

    dont ask me why pf changs was a great idea for room service. dont ask me why it was phoned but it never arrived.

    dont ask me why my hands smell of stripper. dont ask me why i washed them. dont ask me why that aroma is so unique and so pervasive and so only found on said professionals.

    dont ask me why it isnt somehow bottled, even though its clearly bottled *somewhere*

    dont ask me how many beers i had last night. dont ask me why they were whoppingly expensive but still cheaper than at a Lakers or Dodger game.

    dont ask me if i believe anyone who says im cute.

    dont ask me how much i love valet parking.

    dont ask me why we are here during the coldest day of the year. dont ask me if its symbolic of something.

    dont ask me what i think is humans greatest acheivement (french fries).

    dont ask me how relieved i am that i sold most of my stocks last week.

    dont ask me if ive showered today. dont ask me if i plan on taking an actual bath today.

    dont ask me if i feel better today than i have in a very long time (well, since monday)

    dont ask me if i want to make something called October Surprise.

    dont ask me why i ate cheetos for breakfast.

    dont ask me how relieved i am that i woke up alone at noon.

    dont ask me where she went. dont ask me if im secretly hoping shes flying home right now. dont ask me if i still believe that honesty is the best policy.

    dont ask me if you look fat in those booty shorts.