im going to turn 102 years old tomorrow.

im having dinner with the publisher of rolling stone tonight. my coworkers are throwing me a party at a downtown bar tomorrow. my bears are on fire. ac/dc has a new cd coming out today. and our paper had a pretty major redesign today.

but you know what im obsessed with?

the fact that the vending machine dude not only came to replenish the soda machine and didnt fill in the empty row with my beloved apple juice as we hoped he would last week.

but he didnt even throw me a bone with orange juice either.

im outraged.

yes im glad that he didnt give us more grapefruit juice. but whats up with trying to overload us with Gatorade? you can shove your electrolytes where the sun doesnt shine. i want the real thing. the fruit juice of love.

an apple a day gets you to 102 looking as good as i do. orange juice in a pinch, but not that phoney baloney gatorade.

im gonna find out who this vending machine dude is and “interview” him for your ass, if you know what i mean.