nothing in here is true

  1. Tuesday, October 28, 2008
  2. zero comments on the busblog all day? 

    fine, hillary duff it is

    Hilary Duff – Reach Out – Official Music Video Premiere

    what this video tells me is depeche mode’s riffs are/were way underrated.

    that, and it’s harder to follow in madonnas sartorial footsteps than once imagined.

    basically this is just a huge rip-off with the de rigeur hip hop dude to add flava.

    i know someone who really loves ms. duff, this video makes me lose respect for both of them.

  3. your answers to ask tony 

    butthole - parks and rec

    in living color

    Will Campbell: Can I be invited to your birthday party next year? I know I’m 45 years older than you and not hip or a chick and hot and stuff, but I promise not to act my age. And buy a couple rounds.

    will youre one of the few who have stuck by the busblog in a loyal way. you never sold me out, you never betrayed my trust, you never said dumb crap, you never wrote stupid nonsense. you were there on my side when i was up, you were there when i was down. i dont know why you didnt think you werent invited to my birthday last week, but even though you think you are the things that you are, you can most definately come to my next bday party. and only buy one round.

    timmay!!!!! i’m changing “ask tony” to “ask hef” and asking you to ask him what other publications he reads … and, for christ’s sake, don’t let him answer all of them!

    timmay i froze up when i met hef. in a major way. yours was a great question. a perfect question. if my mind was working right or if i had the good sense to write down the questions like a pro i woulda asked it, but to be honest i couldnt really believe i was even going to the mansion again, let a lone ask mr hefner a question let alone as many as i wanted. they didnt let everyone who was there ask questions but they asked me and i blew it. there will be video later, but you’ll see, your boy had his chance and fell on his face.

    zona: do you think newspapers have any business endorsing candidates? and if not, will you tell your boss?

    if i ever come off as pretending to know what newspapers should do then you know im full of it. luckilly for you me and the great city of los angeles i was not hired to work on any aspect of the newspaper, so i dont tell them what to do and they dont tell me what to do with the blogs.

    heres what i know about the fourth estate though. fourth estate is supposed to call it like it sees it. many papers including the LAT and the Chicago Trib havent endorsed a candidate for president in decades. i do know that its risky to both buck tradition and tempt people to pigeonhole you once you step out and say “we think this dude is better than that dude”, but the fourth estate is supposed to be courageous.

    LA Times endorsed obama and mccain back in the primaries when neither were leading their party’s races. that took courage. therefore i was glad that they kept doing what they thought was the right thing.

    The WordSlinger: Who is the better poet–Walt Whitman or Emily Dickinson?

    those are two of the most differnet poets you coulda picked. one was totally free the other lived in almost abject isolation. one wrote and wrote and wrote the other took her time and plotted each line with precision. youd think that a free spirit in appearance like me would lean toward the wildman, but emily dickinson is one of my favorites of all time. because life isnt fair, if she was around today, no one would care about her at all. shed probably have a blog though, and i would probably send her dirty gmails to try to maker blush.

    anti: Do any of the Times’ blogs with a twitter have a good CTR rate? oh and what is the rate, and if its not so good, what value do you think a twitter account bring one’s blog?

    Top of the Ticket has about 900 people following them on Twitter. we only really just started using that technology. its hard to say whats a good CTR off 900 since The Ticket will probably get 4 million pageviews this month, so anything off that twitter feed is gonna be a drop in the bucket compared to the huge success that blog is. when people tell you that no one reads the LA Times any more. tell them they dont know one thing about anything, particularly our audience.

    macbond: What does it take to get a date with Danielle K?

    Danielle is a fragile butterfly. shes as pretty as ever. shes as smart as ever. shes as funny as i first met her and shes more worthy than ever. she wants and deserves everything. when she falls for a man she dives in head first. it might freak out the fakers but she will reward the man with courage like no other.

    ask the homeless what it takes to get a date with her. or the rich man. or the pro golfer. ask the surfer or the bar owner or the coffee shop typer. all it takes is the right hair the right eyes the right vibe. the hard part is the second date. but thats the one where you might see heaven.

    Phaedra: sa-weet. But the question everyone wants to know, but isn’t asking – did ya get some at the playboy mansion?

    only one man got some that night at the mansion. and i’ll give you 82 guesses as to who that gentleman was.

    David: will greg oden be as good as they say or did portland get burned? and…a five song playlist to ease sunday morning hangovers?

    odens a bust. you can see it in his eyes. plus hes too big. you have to start off solid to make it as a big man in this league. ask michael olowokandi. ask theo ratcliff. ask kwame. ask joe smiff. thats where i see oden. someone who bounces around the league for a little while. sparkle here sparkle there but no big thang.

    ying yang twins – whisper song
    jesus and mary chain – sometimes always
    sonic youth – incinerate
    velvet underground – sunday morning
    bob marley – three little birds
    hank sr. – long gone lonesome blues
    bob dylan – froggie went a courtin
    katie melua – just like heaven
    pixies – gigantic
    ac/dc – ride on
    tsar – silver shifter
    zwan – honestly
    the replacements – if only you were lonely
    charlie louvin – when i stop dreamin
    ting tings – traffic light
    smashing pumpkins – landslide
    tom waits – innocent when you dream
    matthew good – odette
    arcade fire – no cars go
    flaming lips – evil will prevail
    the police – wrapped around your finger
    matthew sweet – this moment
    nirvana – dumb (unplugged)
    weezer – island in the sun
    mariah carey – shake it off
    foo fighters – tiny dancer
    cat power – living proof
    bruce springsteen – open all night
    ice cube – today was a good day
    madonna – music
    dinosaur jr. – get me
    prince – when 2 r in love
    ben lee – im with the star
    digital underground – kiss you back
    the wonderfuls – la winter rain
    janes addiction – janes says
    cypress hill – hits from the bong
    lynyrd skynyrd – tuesdays gone
    the eagles – peaceful easy feeling
    randy newman – simon smith and his amazing dancing bear
    r.e.m. – seven chinese brothers
    grateful dead – uncle johns band
    led zeppelin – all of my love
    the cars – moving in stereo
    ugly kid joe – mr record man
    pink floyd – dark side (minus the alarm clocks)
    velvet underground – femme fatale

    xtx: can we Freaky Friday each other so I can go to the mansion and you can stay home and have family movie night watching The Hulk?

    yes i love ed norton and if i had to freaky friday with anyone itd be you.

    sass: Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

    when i sleep alone i sleep next to the window cuz i love that fresh air and i cant believe that in late october we get to sleep with the windows open.

    when i sleep with a lady i sleep on her side of the bed. i do my best to smother her. some dont like that. too bad. some hate it. they end up leaving before the dawns early light. some love it and theres a nocturnal fight to see who will gain dominance. those are the girls i love best. its a sweaty win win.

  4. Monday, October 27, 2008

    so not cool 

    one of the things you will notice if you ever visit california, especially southern california around the holidays is how little we decorate our homes. rarely will you see the gaudy house or block of homes that are super decked out and neighbors are complaining because of noise and traffic.

    but this is going too far. not just because “what would people have said if it was obama hanging” but because there are far more creative things that could be done with these strong personalities than simply hang them.

    so cal is filled will creative, talented, artistic people. this is beneath us.

    via LAist

  5. whats amazing about this video 

    is the sound

    although it looks a lot better if you click the video so you can then click “watch in high quality”, the amazing part of this video is the sound.

    im so out of breath the volume of my voice is totally quiet. no wonder karisa kept asking me “what?” my entire body simply wanted to look down, sit down, and keep it down.

    the old women climbed the mountain no problem. the dogs climbed the mountain no problem. the pretty girl climbed the mountain and actually ran up it a little.

    the black man, however, slipped going up, slipped going down, and nearly died not of exhaustion but of mental stress. my head kept saying “this is ridiculous. youre not going any where. why are people doing this, all youre doing is climbing and walking for no good reason. hey look at those supermodels. hey look at that view. hey look at that smog, youre above the smog line. hey why arent you watching college football right now.”

    i dont like college football.

    heres what it looks like going down the back side (the easy side)

    no doubt its a pleasant view. and karisa says that its better for your bod than running on a tread mill. and it is pretty close to me. in fact now that my bike is about to be fixed, one could ride ones bike to the crazy canyon and walk around it while listening to howard stern.

    but i dont think i will be doing much of that.

    however ms karisa j and i made a little pact. she said that she would write a blog post on her yet to be created blog and every time that she did i would have to work out. because i think she has great tales to tell and because she wants me to be fit. so we made the deal and now i believe she owes on blog post.

    you can thank me later america.

  6. Sunday, October 26, 2008

    i dare you not to love this 

    when i was driving home from vegas a few weeks ago this kid, about that kids age, came up to me trying to sell me phone cards or some nonsense as a fundraiser for their school.

    we were in the middle of nowhere, so it didnt surprise me that they needed fundraising. this girl talked so fast i seriously couldnt understand her – a lot like bro in the video. so i said, just talk normal to me. and she talked slower at first but then kicked into her talking points superfastlike. and i was all, check it, sales is life, but the secret of sales is to say things so people not only understand but wanna give you money.

    she said, do you want a phone card?

    i said, no but i wanna give me money.

    and she didnt know how that fit into the script in her head.

    so i said, just ask the people to donate $5.

    she said, wanna donate $5? i said yes. and we were good.

    update: sometimes you dont even need to ask. you just need to be.

  7. i am so procrastinating doing laundry 

    isnt this the day of rest? shouldnt i be resting today? especially after what karisa put me through yesterday?

    there i was hiding out in my underground lair. sure i was tweeting what a nice day it was and how i would not be participating in it. but i didnt think that that would turn into reverse psychology and inspire karisa to call me.

    i didnt pick up the phone cuz i was talking to ms christine, who i hadnt talked too in a while now that shes moved to san dieger along with j9 and danielle k. why do all the good people move to such a rotten and horrible destroyer of dreams? even They know its a soulless terrible hellhole doomed to fall into the ocean when the Worthy One strikes.

    then i was talking to my momma when i saw karisa calling A-Gain. i ignored that too because she never calls both the land line and the cell number as we both respect each others privacy and that would just be tantamount to phone stalking or something. plus she might not really be her, it could be a trap.

    turned out it was a trap. she said she wanted to come over to get me my birthday gift. i said, i dont want any gift, that her driving me home on my birthday night on wednesday saved my life and that was a gift all its own. or a curse if youre my neighbors (cuz they got to hear me hurl). but i did say, but if you insist i would love a ride to the bike shop so i could get my bike fixed.

    she was all, youre reading my mind. i was like, its so easy.

    she came over, we threw the bike in the back of her truck, we drove to the bike shop and all was well. then she was all, hey im going hiking, wanna come?

    karisa had super tight workout pants on. theres a reason there are laws against women salesfolk wearing workout pants. also i am not blind. i dont think ive ever been hiking in my life. so i said no. she was all, come on jerk. so we drove to runyun canyon and i kid you not, i was out of breath just walking up the hill to get to the gates of the canyon.

    then when everyone went to the right, she was all, lets go up this way, which of course was the monster climb of all climbs. easilly the mt everest of hollywood hills. i asked if i could stop and she said no stopping. soon afterwards i asked if i could sit, she said TONY! right before one place she did say that i could stop for a quick second and get some water but i was dying so hard that it was hard even opening the bottle. this was a steep mountain filled with carcasses of dead mountain goats and the bones of sherpas from olden times.

    then when we finally made it to the tippy top of the biggest mountain she said i could sit down. and when i did she took my camera and took funny pics of me basically dying from muscles being used that pro bloggers never use. ever.

    after she said, ok im gonna run up that other hill, jog over to that house and run all the way around you as you walk down the back side. k bye!

    it was pretty fun, gotta say. after we ate sushi, went shopping at target and saw flogging molly.

    sorta the opposite of hiding out while recovering from a wild week.

    pics to come. including yr answers to ask tony (so if you havent asked anything yet go for it). and a photo essay and maybe a pic or two from laundry.

  8. Saturday, October 25, 2008

    dear canadah 

    you know i love you, right? you know i think of you fondly whenever hockey season starts – when does it start, btw?

    you know i love your rock stars and values and party mentalities. i love your cabins and your poutine, and all of your kickass bloggers.

    well, last night i met the 2008 playboy playmate of the year and shes from a tiny town north of TO and shes in her early 20s and looks younger, she has a tattoo right above her yahoo and it says Respect. in goth. and i love her almost as much as i love you.

    i was at the mansion for their annual haunted house. i dont know why. maybe they liked my scary mask. anyways i got to meet a half dozen playmates and i got to interview them. i even got to interview 2/3s of the girls next door and mr hefner himself.

    i learned a lot about the change of seasons at the mansion, including the fact that hef not only has two new girlfriends who are twins (one is named karissa), but he has two more, cuz why not?

    they had the whole mansion decked out with crazy lights and scary monsters and look someone dressed up like amy winehouse!

    they had funny tombstones everywhere. crazy crashing sounds. and a killer haunted house.

    i got to interview pretty much anyone i wanted. everyone was super nice and funny.

    but, friends, when i got to interview hef, hero to all men, i swallowed my tongue, so to speak, i froze up, i got cold feet, i saw the legend and i was blinded.

    i may have access now to some legendary people and places. even more than ever before. but i have a lot to learn about being a good reporter, especially on video. but if you will be patient with me i promise to learn from these mistakes and kick ass next time.

    reporting from heaven, tony