1. Friday, November 21, 2008

    i think im warming to the kids 

    probably because theyre out of the house right now and its nice here. and also theyre adorable. but if i dont allow adorable humans to get away with murder, why would i change that rule for adorable aliens?

    yes aliens. they are oddly shaped. they dont speak the language. they have no respect for our laws or guidelines. theyre clearly here to invade and take over. they come from another world. theyve time traveled and have refused to go back. theyre a drain on our economy. they have no papers. they flat out insist on not working. they wont even learn to drive a car or a truck.

    you saw the little one play ball in the house with no regard to actual basepaths or commonsense fundamentals of baseball.

    but the thing that bothers me the most is they take the straws off the juice boxes and then hide them or bury them or stuff them in the pool drain. hows uncle tony supposed to enjoy a juice box with no straw? what am i supposed to do, take a knife to an innocent juice box and pour the contents into a glass? you have any idea how little fluid is in a juice box? its like two shot glasses full.

    why are there shot glasses next to the juice boxes?

    its florida, dont ask. and dont tell.