1. Friday, January 9, 2009

    its not even noon and your bff raymi has already blogged twice 

    performed three costume changes, been frustrated by the world five times, and shot video of herself playing chinese checkers. the question is what have you done?

    born a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, little raymi sunshine found her niche as a premiere blogger back when you were still being blown away by tsar’s first record (one of raymis faves).

    today she finds herself up against for best blogger in the universe bragging rights with her toughest foe, Dooce, the american favorite from LA who now lives in the SLC. the busblog sat down with ms minx to check in and speculate on her thought process going into the final days of voting.

    busblog: raymi why should you win this award. youre not even original.
    raymi: pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft
    busblog: but dooce writes about having a child, you dont have any children
    raymi: yeah and if i do then i will write about how f-ing retarded my kid is
    and mouthy
    and moody
    and how much i deserve it
    my kid better be a girl too
    busblog: omg when are you expecting?
    raymi: haha
    not for a loooong time
    im not done failing at life yet
    kids are for the second stage of life when all your avenues and chances dry up, then you have a kid and instill all your insecurities and missed-out-ons into it

    busblog: in retrospect was the tattoo a bad idea?
    raymi: no
    sometimes i look down at it and go sigh how bored am i of you
    but then i think how much i love it and how i want a unicorn and other stupid stuff
    i will inevitably get one on my other arm of something
    maybe RAYMI in some arty farty script

    busblog: when will the larger than life portrait of fil adorn your back with huge gothic script under it saying “my mans”?
    raymi: never
    back tattoos are for strippers and fat hippies
    and chodes from the burbs
    and you
    busblog: my raymi tattoo portrait is almost done so hush
    which is your real bff?
    the blonde, or sass?
    raymi: you couldnt draw yourself out of a wet paper bag
    they are both my friends and i love them
    nice angle you dirtbag

    busblog: lets say there was one life preserver left
    raymi: bahaha
    busblog: both of them were swimming off the titanic
    raymi: well whichever one was more athletic
    busblog: of course you had a cool one
    which would you throw the extra one to?
    raymi: me included, id give it to the poorest swimmer
    busblog: sass wins then

    busblog: ok, now to your art
    how many pieces have you sold over the last year?
    raymi: remind me to charlie horse you when i see you next
    um a ton
    busblog: how many do you thnk dooce has sold?
    raymi: she doesnt have to make crappy art
    she just has to write about her totally domesticated life in utah and her daughters facial expressions and her legions go OOOOOOOOOH AAAAAAAAHH SO AMAZING
    raymi: ive sold 35 paintings in total
    give or take
    the bad kids are in the park right now
    it’s balls freezing right now and dark wtf
    they havent been around inawhile
    where did you go

    raymi: tony i have a question for you, why aren’t you in jail yet
    what do you think the internet would be like if i never found you
    busblog: they cant keep a good brotha down
    it would be less canadian, thats for sure
    raymi: i mean my readers and yours
    you would inevitably find and irritate me though
    busblog: doubt it
    raymi: im glad i have more bg info on you and see the wizard behind the curtain that your toolbag readers dont see haha
    though i must say in real life you talk a good game, v well spoken and intelligent
    busblog: thanks baby
    raymi: dont let it go to your head
    busblog: also you know way hotter stories about me than ive ever told on m’blawwg
    raymi: if by hot you mean gross, thanks trying to forget about that. next!

    busblog: how did you lose all that weight?
    please say snorting weight loss pills
    raymi: by watching what i eat and when i eat
    and being stressed out
    and stopped drinking beer
    white wine instead of red
    busblog: interesting
    raymi: wii fit
    busblog: are you still 20 on wii?
    raymi: in the summer biking and walking
    depends how shaky i am
    i think im 23 right now

    busblog: where should people vote for you?
    url please
    also, how often shoudl they do it
    raymi: http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-diarist/
    busblog: also, should they tell their friends
    raymi: every 24 hours from when they last voted
    and they should make a point to go to libraries and work and home vote wherever
    they should tell as many people as possible
    busblog: ktnx now make out with fil for a good 4 minutes and say its from me and pitt
    raymi: SICK DUDE
    my breath stanks
    busblog: that parts pitts. mine is the roaming hands part.