as you know im quite old

so old that “bachelor” should have a ye olde in front of it

a couple of days ago some of my married friends were over at my house, and i guess they hadnt been in my room for a while because they stared at the wall with photos of scantily dressed cheerleaders, and dvds that didnt have elmo on the cover, and baseball cards laying about, and video games on the shelves, and the occasional cocktail napkin with a phone number scrawled on it, and they said “now this is the Den thats missing in my house.”

you know what else theyre missing?

baby mops.

(and asian nannys)