1. Monday, March 2, 2009

    have i told you im a horrible man 

    its true.

    at work, fine. on the ballfield, fine. up in the unfriendly skies with chopper one, totally fine.

    but the nakeder you get with me the worst i’ll abuse that trust.

    she was all lets watch the bachelor you’ll never just curl up and watch the bachelor with me.

    and i looked at her like are you out of your mind? the bachelor?!?

    its the finale, she said.

    because im insane, sometimes i get into these spirals where everythings supposed to mean something, or worse, that some things should mean something.

    super hot girl, very funny, but how long am i supposed to hang out with someone who drives a beemer and watches the bachelor.

    curled up?

    but the number one theme of the bible is dont judge. she was extactic.

    it was the finale i said to myself as she bounced up in her little boy shorts and prepared some microwave popcorn.

    for a long time i sat there steamed. fighting something. who knows what. pride. idealism. street cred. my life slipping away.

    maybe that she knew something that i didnt know. but this is what she knows?

    itd break for commercial and it remind me of its ridiculous title: the bachelor – after the final rose.

    was i being punked?

    i looked at her as she explained things and i thought am i into this just because shes smokin hot and dresses like that? and her lips look like that.

    she esped me, so are you?

    i said, shhh cuz the bachelor,

    amazingly, incredibly, got good.

    and just like me, the bachelor made the wrong ass decision.