and with this cold
its called who’s the boss.
what happens is i take medicine, drink some water, eat some soup and try to lay down.
then the cold gets strong and starts making me sneeze then sniffle then it makes my nose run. then when the food gets to a certain spot the cold says oh hell no and sends it right back up.
i run to the bathroom and expunge and flush and my toilet runs so i lift the top and fiddle with the handle and then its time for me to hurl again so i do that and everythings gone. so i brush my teeth and go back to bed.
but im starving, so i drink some water, make some more soup, take some more medicine and eat the soup and try to lay down. i futz around on the computer waiting to see if the food will be allowed into the large intestine and the coughing starts and then the spitting and there i am back at the porcelain throne.
people call. i respond to emails. work is busy. my voice is dying. i feel like im dying. then i think if i die thats ok, ive done pretty much everything ive wanted to do. but im starving, so i make more soup. there are triscuits taunting me but the thought of those coming back up make me shiver.
this time i dont take any medicine. i drink water. ding the soup is microwaved. and minutes later there i am in the bathroom again.
i weigh myself. this is a great diet. i go outside. im freezing. its 75 degrees. i have a hat on, a flannel, a jacket. i move my car, its street cleaning. everyone has shorts and tshirts on. im dressed like its novembrrrr. if i die, i think, at least i lived in warm weather a lot.
get back in bed. answer more emails. unlike most other jobs a lot of the questions only get sent to me, no one is cc’ed. sometimes lindsay gets cc’ed and she knows i am never sick so she helps all she can, god bless her. i eat a hersheys kiss. it makes my teeth sting. i am the most sensitive poet alive. no wonder im dying.
my mom calls. my sister got accepted to law school. life is so weird. she was always better at school than me. i always wanted to be a lawyer. so good for her for beating me once again. it was a fair fight. starving so i make another bowl of soup. im running out of bowls so i get one of those healthy choice soups that have the lid on it. you snap off the top, put the lid back on, and nuke it for 2 minutes.
i drink some water and wait. i tell the cold i can do this all day and all night. i tell it that im gonna die one day and if this is how its gonna go then at least i had some nice italian wedding soup – twice.
so here it is 9pm. the soup went down and stayed down. and i have a sneaking suspicion that i barfed out the cold.
which is great cuz i really wanted to go to work tomorrow