my moms hilarious.

and i love her. and shes the best mom ever.

however i must share with you this email she sent me the other day. my sister’s au pere (yes you can afford one of those if you live in The Windy) is coming to LA this weekend with her brother. they are staying at my bachelor pad while i am in austin covering SXSW.

this makes my mom nervous as she knows im not the most tidy fellow. thus i received this email:

Hi Tony. First of all, I apologize for wanting to see Castle last night and having to end our conversation early. It was really good. The critics will probably pan it but I liked it a lot. It’s a little bit like the Mentalist and Shark.

Also, your review was VERY nice. It’s about time you got a boss who appreciates you. I will talk more about it the next time I speak to you.

Just a reminder concerning Roby’s visit. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have your cleaning lady come the day you leave or the day before. You should have a clean kitchen, no dishes in the sink. Throw all of the trash outside. Clean (or new) linen on the bed, or no sheets on the bed and clean linen folded up on the bottom of the bed. I think her brother is staying with her. So please have 2 sets of clean (or new) towels, wash cloths for them. Wash the bath mat or buy a new one. If you have an extra sheet for the sofa put them out in case he stays there.

Throw all of the clutter in the closet. No used condoms in the trash or anywhere.

Ask one of your Neat girlfriends to come over and help make suggestions.

Roby is very neat so make it neat for her. It is very nice you are allowing her to stay there. She just told me that they may not be going to San Diego so she will not get a chance to meet Jeanine and Chris.

Have a little food in the house too. Bread, eggs, cereal, bottled water, candy. Roby likes English muffins, strawberry preserves, tea and chocolate. She eats pancakes and waffles also.

Please confirm you received this email.

Love ya.


I guess it doesn’t matter how old you get, your mom sees you as a kid (which is sweet). Thus the cleaning lady is at my house right now with my army of neat girlfriends to rid my home of used condoms and fill my cupboards with preserves and tea.

Theres already tons of chocolate.