1. Sunday, April 5, 2009

    stalking dora 

    the exploder

    Peter: Any advice for a blogger who wrote a book and now wants to pimp it a bit?

    have it printed on hemp.

    BobD: Your predictions for Cubs record this year? Post season? World Series? World Series win?

    101-61, they’ll sweep the dodgers in the first round, and then sweep the phillies for the pennant. then they’ll beat the yankees in seven games. but only after president obama renounces the white sox for good luck.

    dshan: sorry, two this time. what are your thoughts on cutler and the bears? and, how do you decide which personal blogs to read?

    as happy as everyone is to get a 25 yr old pro bowler, did the bears really need a quarterback? wasnt orton passable? with two number ones couldnt we get some help at WR? but now that the deal is done and we have orlando pace (which is fine because the bears havent had the best luck with their own #1 picks, so why not try someone elses) i look forward to the season starting. i would still love to trade for someone to catch the damn ball.

    i like personal blogs that are trying something new, taking risks, exposing themselves emotionally, and living on the edge. because of that i really miss the pants, flagrant, danielle, and the oak park mastermind.

    Luke: What are your Final Four predictions? Mine (only semi-related): the girls in this town are going to be drunk Saturday, and I am going to be happy.

    i predict that as long as the ncaa continues to exploit young, mostly black athletes by making millions and spreading that money to everyone except to the young, mostly black athletes, i wont be watching. i did lots of things as a college student that benefited the college and i got paid for it. that same courtesy should extend to the jocks.

    raymi: why do cats meow why is the sky blue why is water wet why is most gum pink

    because theyre annoying, thats an optical illusion, because god wanted you to know when you were in the ocean, and because its made out of fingers.

    booger: please explain this: http://www.myspace.com/theraymies

    once again america does it all so much better, eh?

    g/d: If Vin Diesel is back with violence can J.D. Salinger back out of silence?

    jd is the original punk rocker. he hated pictures on his book cover. he wanted people to read them just as they were. no art. no hype. he probably isnt even crazy that catcher in the rye is maroon with yellow letters. and best of all hes too punk to die or call it a comeback.

    vin diesels only claim to fame is he looks just like me if i lifted anything heavier than a longneck.

    zona: who was that blogger who asked about when/if Da Bears were gonna get a quarterback in the off season? who was that guy?

    oh that would be you mr taco stand. didnt they used to burn witches back in the good ole days?

    vinny: have you ever seen Tracy Morgan do stand up live?

    even though ive lived in LA for longer than some of you have been alive, ive never seen a comedy show here. just here in hollywood there are a half dozen places to take in all the best stand up comics around. but since i hate to laugh i sit in my dark cave and paint on the walls instead. tracy was amazing on his appearance on howard though – gurgle gurgle gurgle.

    FakeName: OK, this is kind of serious. After just dabbling with it socially, I’ve developed something of a taste for the cocaine. It hasn’t interfered with my work/life/relationships (yet), and has become a favorite way to relieve stress in these very stressful times. Is this the beginning of the end, or is it possible to enjoy a few lines the same way others enjoy a few glasses of wine or a few bowls of weed?

    addictions are a personal thing. some cant handle any booze, some eat way too much, some watch hours and hours of tv, or play video games forever. some are addicted by work or making money. some chicken eating hall of fame baseball players are sex addicts. i wish i could tell you something about cocaine but when i was a lad there were two really awesome college athletes who died from od’ing on coke and i said “hell if that could happen to those freaking specimens of masculinity, a wimpy dude like me doesnt stand a chance.”

    so i say if you can go a week, or a month, or even a year without coke then you probably have a handle on it. but id still be careful because i dont know too many people who can tapdance on those types of land mines and come out on top. might wanna just stick the things that dont kill people. for example ive been playing a lot of chess recently.

    meredith r. mistletoe: tony! I realize it’s saturday now. BUT: So, I’m considering coming off babe-break. What are the top 5 characteristics I should be looking for in a Major Babe/Babe-of-life?? (xo)

    older, balder, americaner, sicklier, and disgustinglier. think joe the plumber with soul.

    Krista: leggy blonde or stumpy brunette?

    because im so old i can say from experience that there are plusses and minuses to both. i can also say that ive had better times with brunettes, but that might just be because theyre wilder.

    bloopy: why is your flickr name xxsosaxx?. . . i think i get the sosa bit, but what are the “x”s for?. . . and why not use your real name?. . .

    everything i do, just like raymi, is a ripoff of orange county girls on the web. there was a time when they all had x’s around their handles. and just like them, i prefer using aliases – its more fun and cuts back on the narcissism.

    Sam: How would you save newspapers?

    Girls Scouts have cookies to sell but even if their average customer buys 4 boxes, it’s hard to believe that the end profit for the girls off that average sale would equal $10, and those cookies are ultimately bad for you. Boy Scouts don’t have anything interesting to sell but would benefit a great deal from the act of salesmanship. Most daily newspapers have deals where you could get a year subscription to a newspaper for $75. If newspapers teamed up with the Boy Scouts and had them sell subscriptions for $99, Americans could not only save newspapers but they’d help scouting by buying something that’s good for them, good for the community, and educational. If in a city like LA the scouts could get a mere 250,000 new subscribers it would mean millions for both the scouts and the paper.

    Gage: when is it too late?

    its always too late. time and money are the first two excuses the devil puts in our head whenever theres work to be done, so ignore those immediately. the question you should ask your self is, is this the right thing to do? is this best in the long run? if time and money werent considerations what would i be doing? although the answer is usually tony, your results may vary.