these dogs bark and i get all pissed

and think why do these dogs have to bark

why cant they just chill out and be mellow the way the rest of us are being.


but then i remember, oh yeah not all dogs realize that theyve been brought to this city not to be dogs aka animals who love to run around in the great outdoors and be free

but eating pissing and pooping machines who’ll get a pet every now and then but

and she wouldnt stop.

i thought what sorta date is this? am i on tv

am i her shrink? does she have no friends?

and for some reason i always think costumes can fix anything.

i thought maybe if she had a super tall pink hairdo

or a tuxedo dress

or a dress that looked like a swan,

everything would be all better.

and sometimes it sucks to be right.