1. Saturday, August 29, 2009

    when i die i promise they wont find a crack pipe next to me 

    Gage: what’s your opinion on invite only blogs? I don’t really get the purpose myself… ass, gas or grass?

    people should blog. they should write down how they feel about stuff, they should use the part of the brain that only writing stimulates because when its stimulated it connects with other parts of the brain and makes the writer healthier and brighter.

    but not everyone feels comfortable writing the way you really should write, so if doing it in private is what will get the good stuff out there, then i have no problems with it.

    but i will suggest that they should also make a second, public blog because writing without a net stimulates something different than writing in private, and thats valuable.

    little bursts of exhibitionism is good for you.

    and little bits of positive reinforcement from people you dont know can really inspire you to blog more. its a phenomenon that can be tantamount to creating things that would otherwise never be set free.

    so blog, blog in the dark, blog in the light, but blog.


    g/d: Can one survive broke in Brooklyn
    ask’s a artist Canuck with New York neo-expressionist abstract dreams?

    i dont know how anyone survives in new york. tokyo either. but somehow people do it. even poor people! but you know, artists should starve a little.

    Mike: Can ya get me some of those cupcakes?

    Sprinkles is available in several locations: Dallas, Newport Beach, Scottsdale, Palo Alto and Beverly Hills.

    If you dont think you’ll be anywhere near those towns, i wouldnt recommend giving any one any money to “ship” them to you, because they will be eaten en route.

    every deliciously sweet crumb.

    Ella: Did you get a ticket for the MegaMillions? And if so, what would you blow the money on if you won?

    i did get a ticket, but it looks like it wasnt a winner. but if i had won i would have bought a black 82 trans am, a blue 82 vette, and a red 2010 escalade. id spend a million producing the next Tsar record. i would buy a house in isla vista and give the rest of the money to my mom.

    pitt: how much will i enjoy costello at massey tonight?

    elvis costello is so over rated. critics are all blah blah blah and fans are all yeah yeah yeah. so what that he can sing so pretty and his songs are so great. so what that hes amazing live. hes a foreigner. hes taking a job away from an american.

    Kris: blonde or brunette?

    when i was younger i was really attracted to blonde. but now that im well into my triple digits i like the darkness. i like the mystery and the perceived evil. smokeyness. danger. loss of innocence. depth. and in the end, vengeance. sorta like when ali met sam jackson. in fact its been a very long time since ive made out with a blonde girl. ashley might have been the last one.

    timmay!!!!!: propofol? what the hell is propofol?

    i learned a few things at ucsb. one of the things i learned was there are a few different types of drugs. ones that mellow you, ones that wake you, ones that trip your ass out, and ones that will make you wanna make out. propofol is one that makes you pass out and then you dream of moonwalking on the moon. and then bam you really are dreaming. forever.

    Basart: Should Milton Bradley stay in Chicago?

    milton bradley is a lot like kanye west, minus the talent. he needs to realize that you dont need to fight the fans of chicago, especially cub fans. he needs to take out his anger issues on the ball, not the paying crowds.

    hopefully the cubs front office will learn that players often blossom during their free agency year and then get fat and lazy once theyre making the big bucks. will all the great young talent we have in the outfield there was no reason to buy a bat unless it was capable of 40+ homers, which milton sure aint. his kind should go back to the AL.

    David: what’s the best place to take a first date if you wanna be waking up with her in the morning? how about the bleachers at wrigley?

    camping or vacation. and although many say that you shouldnt move that quickly, it never hurts to see what a date looks like first thing in the morn. the bleachers is a terrible place because its too much stimulation and everything after that will feel like a let down.

    John Wayne Maioriello: First off… I totally back you on the ice cream and cake song. When i hear it it conjures the most embarrassing dance moves… My question is: What top 5 things should one do/consider when starting their first first freelance journalist business?

    1. think about what content you could provide that would be unique enough that your publication(s) of choice wouldnt have thought about getting a staffer to do it, but something that doesnt stray too far away from the tone/style that their readers are used to

    2. think about exactly who these publications are, and if they are looking (and paying) for the things you have to offer.

    3. think about how you would advertise what it is that you have.

    4. study who else is doing what you want to do and find out if they are satisfied with their life.

    5. think about doing it all on your own, publishing to the web, and selling ads yourself. or writing a book. especially a picture book. like a coffee table one. for example. there are like 200-300 places to buy weed in LA. what if you just took a picture of each of the signs of all of these crazy stores. make a little book and sell it for $20 + $4.20 shipping. i think people would be amazed to see such a thing happening legally in the usa.

    katie: what are the fundamental differences between Cubs fans and White Sox fans?

    there are two types of Cub fans which means there are two types of Sox fans, because the Sox are merely the anti-Cubs. the two types of Cub fans are the pre-Sandberg fans, and the post-Sandberg fans. Before Ryne Sandberg (BRS) wrigley field was a place where you never needed to buy your tickets in advance. they were the lovable losers who played all their home games in the day, under the sun, the way Jesus intended.

    but Ryne Sandberg and the rest of those cubs of the 80s were so fun to watch that it attracted a new type of fan that jumped on the bandwagon and finally gave sox fans a valid reason to hate the cubs. these new cub fans were yuppies who didnt drink old style and had no real concept about the 80 years of misery that led to Ryne’s acquisition to the cubs. they were just there to party in the bleachers and hit on girls who wanted to buy pink hats.

    pre sandberg sox fans were more geniune about their team. they had a fascinating owner in bill veeck, the greatest tv team in baseball (harry caray and jimmy piersall), and a stadium that had an exploding score board, a barber chair in center field, a shower in left, and hard alcohol every where. i was like a whorehouse with a pipe organ.

    the only thing that kept old comiskey legit were the black folk from the southside who were there to root on the likes of richie allen bobby bonds harold baines and chet lemon. the president is right to root for the white sox on many levels but most of all because he did most of his community organizing on the south side, where the sox play. he would have been a sell out if he had tried to claim allegiance to the cubs as well as the sox because most of the people believe you need to pick a side, and then defend your team.

    its why i flash cubbie colors whereever i go.

    another difference between fans: sox fans secretly wish they were cub fans, and cub fans pity sox fans more than they pity themselves.

    update: im discovering that there is a third group of cub fans. youngsters who would have probably been cub fans even if there had been no sandberg. fascinating. meanwhile sox still suck.

    zona: I’m gonna have to scroll way down to see this after you answer katie’s question.. but, apple’s snow leopard. yes or no?

    im of the belief “dont fix whats not broken” i have no problem with OSX which is what im blogging with right now. but if St. Jobs has a new miracle to bestow upon us then im willing to check it out. i just dont want it to crash my iphone.

    jackassjimmy: Any tips for writing great love notes/letters?

    make them long and detailed and if subject matter that will make her blush when she shows her bffs. when in doubt, rhyme, and make sure to spritz it with some ridiculous cologne. my favorite is a drakkar smell-a-like that you can get at the 99 cents store.

    adriel: best way to get over it when something hot fizzles before you’d like it to? don’t want to be a puppy dog…

    usually i recommend sending a stranger something erotic. a real stranger, not a blogstar who you adore. but a real stranger that youd pick out of the phone book and mail something to. something like a picture of your most personal region. like your eyeball. or lower. but now that everyone has a cd player i think you should make this stranger the cd mix that youd send to the one who fizzled in front of you, and send it to the stranger and definately not the inspirationer. for if you simply send it to the stranger you will see that you are really over him/her. and then you can move on (west) with yr life.

    Scott: When is the economy gonna pick back up?

    this week ended with the dow rallying for the ninth consecutive day, “the longest winning streak since 1996“, home prices have risen in major us cities for the second consecutive month, and cash for clunkers came in under budget and accounted for 700k new car sales; unless youre expecting naked cherubs to float down from heaven handing out gold encrusted piggy banks heavy from diamonds and pearls, id have to believe that the economy has picked back up this summer.

    butterflykarma: Do you think Coachella will have a good line up in 2010? What would your top headliners be?

    coachella always has good lineups. if i was paul tollett id get van halen to close one night and no doubt to close the other night. if i was U2 id play there for free and in secret. as in unannounced. as in totally surprise and without all of the bells and whistles that have turned u2 shows into distractions away from the heart of their specialness.

    Ali M: Tell us your most rock n’ roll moment.

    i have been so blessed in my life to have met so many wonderful people, and experienced so many once-in-a-lifetime moments. the most rockin of all was jamming with rivers in the weezer practice garage where they cranked out what would be the blue album and pinkerton.

    but, stangely, i think the most rock n roll moment of my life had to do with photography specifically two pictures. one i took, one i didnt take.

    a long time ago i was something somewhat special in the blogging world. and i drove around the us and canada and i thanked people for pitching in to buy me the car that i now drive. and i thanked them for years of support. and i thanked them for helping me get my gig at LAist.

    in one particular town two girls wished to know me. not because i was handsome or rich or tall or spectacular, but because of the tap tap tappings on a keyboard that miraculously made it into the interwebs and onto their computer screens. before it went down, i could see the look of love in their eyes, the moment of anticipation about to be fulfilled, and i asked if i could take a picture. and i did.

    the picture i didnt take was of one of the girls in the windowsill hours afterwards. smoking a cigarette as the moon was about to set and the sun was about to rise. she looked so happy and new and calm. just like she could have sat in that window sill forever. im glad i didnt take it because sometimes your memory is better than a bad pic.

    top photo of the hills of Los Angeles in flames by Moxie, photo of Elvis Costello at Amoeba by Burns!