1. Monday, September 14, 2009

    went to see ozzy this weekend. he played on the street. 

    hung out with these people

    he rocked harder than all of the previous bands on that stage combined

    when he raised his hands, the crowd raised their hands. it was an evil, wonderful ballet

    even satan himself was there. er, santa. someone.

    there were fights. there was slamdancing. there were panicked people. there was love.

    there was also a firehose filled with foam. and one ozzy.

    the results were hilarious



    only bad thing about the fest was if you werent drinking in a club,
    you had to drink in one of the beer gardens.
    although it would be nice to drink on the street,
    this randomly selected woman didnt seem to mind

    neither did this fascinating woman
    who had stars autograph her arms,
    which she then turned into tattoos

    speaking of tattoos. if you’re a nice lady with a tattoo like this, i will talk to you.

    speaking of the law talking to the miller lite girls, hi.

    speaking of learning one thing every day.
    who knew that elmer valentine cofounded so many killer places?
    most days im lucky to find my car keys.

    wanna know something crazy? i really liked the kottonmouth kings

    yes theyre just a group of white rappers trying to be hard while yapping about weed

    but they’re reeeeeeallly into weed. they got this one guy who walks around with a backpack of it

    and they got this guy who’s literally smoking the entire set

    he was also in charge of the signs

    cute, but after a while youd wonder, why’d they let the guy smoking the weed be in sign guy?

    i mean this guy was really inhaling

    and exhaling

    one minute youd see backpack o dope guy bustin on the megaphone

    next minute youd see crazy sign guy smoking another jay

    after a while everyone looked high so i bailed.

    and ran into my favorite american idol

    who told me to say hi to you guys

    so, like, hi!