busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, February 28, 2010
  2. congratulations Canada! 

    you won fair n square via what “Slapshot” would have called, “good old-fashioned hockey”

    above is John Bollwitt, Mr604’s, video of cannucks singing their anthem as their players get gold.

    below are some of the pro-USA tweets i delivered during the game

    Gearing up for the US / Canada hockey Super Bowl by getting a $60 shredder at Staples for $20 and a $3 burrito. USA! USA!

    nice to hear “Welcome to the Jungle” is the universal anthem that something is fixin to go down. #usa #hockey #canadassuperbowl

    which one is Gretzky?

    One things for sure, Canada wins the coveted Better Hockey Jersey Design award. Did our side even try? #canadassuperbowl #hockeynight

    Al Michaels forgot it was daytime? 1pm? Keep drinking bro, and bababooey to y’all. #hockey #canadassuperbowl

    EMBARGO THEM! EMBARGO THEM!!!

    sweet stick handling! #thatswhatshesaid

    that shot and reaction looked like an execution. sadly the execution failed. #canadassuperbowl #usa #hockey

    GET BRETT FAVRE IN THERE IF THIS IS HOW ITS GONNA GO DOWN! #usa #hockey #canadassuperbowl

    Playing the Donnas “Gold Medal” and up comes “Is That All You Got For Me?” ironically (?) #canadassuperbowl #hockey

    The only thing more exciting than the Empty Net is Stealing Home #hockey #usa #canadassuperbowl

    DO YOU BELIEVE IN TIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Apparently the Lord wanted a little more of this really really really good thing. It is His day today, after all. #canadassuperbowl #hockey

    Nothing better than Free Baseball on a hockey rink. #instantuglyamericanism

    No Canada!

    loving / hating that black eyed peas tune

    im glad we’re not smiling. second place is for secondplacers, not americans. #canadassuperbowl

  3. our friend Monkey asks: 

    Hi Tony…I have never been to Chicago and I just got invited to go next weekend. You’re the only person I know from there and I trust your opinion – top three things I have to do? Any awesome restaurants, tourist traps, miscellaneous adventures to be had?

    three very touristy endeavors, but whatever

    - Gino’s East pizza (deep dish Chicago style) one piece may fill you up! wash it down with an Old Style beer something you can only get in the midwest

    - Art Institute of Chicago – its the museum best known in Ferris Bueller

    - The Weiner Circle. go at night.

  4. Saturday, February 27, 2010

    maybe i didnt watch enough of the olympics 

    maybe i watched just enough

    because even though it was touching to watch the candian skater girl get a bronze right after her mom died,

    the person i was rooting for the most was johnny weir.

    the lo and behold our pal kk+ bumped into him and did this quickie video interview

    i like it when people who dont win medals are still loved and respected. if theres one thing i really dont like about the oly games its the whole gold silver bronze bs. here you have all these really young athletes trying their hardest to perform and in events like figure skating we run around pretending that its ok to say that one persons routine was better than the other and because of those extremely subjective assessments their lives are changed forever.

    same goes for a racer who wins or loses by a fraction of a second.

    not real crazy about any of that.

    nor am i excited about one country performing or competing against another.

    we’re all just little blobs of cells and blood and bones running around. barely alive. lucky to be alive. im not gonna hate on a skater cuz of the country hes so-called representing.

    back in the day if Apollo was racing against Flash i wouldnta said “go italy!” ida said “go Apollo!”

    anyways rock on johnny weir.

  5. etienne lives in santiago chile 

    she writes on facebook that shes ok:

    “Safe and terrified in santiago. So is fam and friends. Little water and food no lights. Broken apartment. Sometimes phone reception using net on phone now. Not seen any news and desperate for it. Send good vibes. We will be dodging aftershocks.”

    see also

  6. even though im a million years old 

    i dont have a washer dryer or even curtains

    so today my truest and i went shopping: sears, best buy, frys,

    even a place called The Great Indoors.

    i really dont like shopping.

    the only real purchase i made: a Cubs hat

    when we were done, my truest hurled a rainbow.

  7. Friday, February 26, 2010

    saw mariah at the gibson wednesday 

    it was rainy and cold and i almost didnt go but i did cuz i aint never seener before

    and i love her.

    i have every record. i get them when they come out.

    still i have no idea why ive never seen her before. prob cuz no one else likes her.

    no one i know at least.

    tickets were $300 a pair on ebay. $100 face value for the very back.

    got to the place and i thought no way will i need to spend more than $30 from a scalper cuz no ones gonna be there. in the rain. everyones gonna bail.

    no one bailed.

    everyone showed up. i paid the ticket box $108. sat in the back. stood for most of it cuz i was excited and she was awesome and the epitome of a diva.

    at one point two dudes brought out a chaise lounge and her hair guy and her makeup guy did a touch up on her as she sipped champaign in some taffata dress.

    everyone screamed. then she sang her ass off.

    this was the video at the very end.

    90 minutes. no encore. just hi bye out.

    i will never miss a tour of hers again.

  8. Thursday, February 25, 2010

    there goes the neighborhood 

    black is white, white is black, we’re through the looking glass people.

    the president is black, the tallest dude in the nba is chinese,

    and this year’s winners of the national step competition

    are white.

    mlk’s dream is being realized before our very eyes

    and all we can do is bitch about nbc and american idol and create drinking games based on dick cheney’s heart attacks.

    no wonder Shamu ate his trainer.

    h/t @misterjt

  9. Chris C. asks: 

    I am moving to Chile for this Woman [Etienne]. Tony do you know her? Why do I fall in love so easily? I would love to corresponde with her.

    dear Chris,

    yes I do know Etienne. not know know, but for a while she was one of my favorite bloggers. and no not just because shes adorable and hates clothes.

    i loved etienne because she was creative and fun and funny, and took great pics of canaduh, and hung out with interesting people and had aspirations of ruling the world.

    because you know that nothing in here is true, let me tell you the Story of E. once upon a time etienne realized that even though she was ridiculously attractive in a cafe-au-lait-Lolita way, in Canada she was just another hot babe because if we have established anything on the busblog it is: there are no fugly women in Canada.

    added to that a family tragedy and etienne said eff this im outta here. she moved to Thailand. then she bopped over to Spain. then she went back to Asia. she came back to Canada for holidays but then explored South America. breaking hearts all around the globe, including the heart of yours truly when she took down her eponymous blogspot.

    when i first became aware that etienne was a real person and not just a beautiful illusion set up to trick me into moving to Toronto i messaged her on MSN and asked her if she had a web cam. she did! i was convinced that when she got on cam the truth would be revealed, that there was this giant sized man who had a cute cousin who he took photographs of and pretended was this wild child.

    “is that really you etienne?” i typed while watching her laugh on the chat window.

    “of course it is. i should be asking you the same thing. am i really chatting with THE tony pierce?” she asked.

    soon we both realized that the only way we could both be sure that we were each other was to get naked in the chat and simultaneously talk dirty on the telephone.

    unfortunately she said, oh wait, how about first we pull out our drivers licenses and press them close to the camera.

    best laid plans, my man. anyway, add smart to her list of attributes. or at least “not dumb”.

    but id add smart because somehow she has figured out how to avoid the terrible climate of Americas Hat and has lived in what appears to be utter joy along some of the most tropical beaches around the world without the slightest need to blog any of it for our prying eyes.

    before she left north america she did party with the likes of The Pants, Raymi, and i think Bunny McIntosh. all of them gave her rave reviews and said that men melted in her wake.

    some say shes the root cause of global warming. sorry Climate Change.

    how can you contact her?

    i do it by blogging.

  10. checking in with keri the canadian explorer 

    at the olympics IN CANADA!

     

    not only is keri smokin hot, but after a week of the olympics under her belt shes in beautiful form at Whistler as the Games make their home stretch.

    in this episode we learn a little about the Russian oly mascot. Canadas two mythical creatures. And the difference between Whistler and Vancougar.

    SHE YOUR CANADIAN FRIEND

    know what i love about her vids? all the crazy weird edits and wacky bits normal people would cut out.

    she makes me wanna make out with canada. moreso than normal. watch it till the end!