i dont want anything

not a hybrid, or a toupee, or five golden rings.

i dont want a 401(k) or a kilo of coke or a six pack.

i dont want kids, or a mortgage, or a divorce attorney, or an unhappy wife.

i dont want a pit bull, or an invite to a black & white party, or a jury summons.

i dont want a trip to the gym, or a dell computer, or kindle.

i dont want a side salad, or a lesson in grammar, or your opinion of the newspaper industry.

i dont want public speakers who cant speak well, or a new business suit, or hard shoes.

i dont want a makeover, or spiritual advice, or a gold chain.

i dont want to speak at a funeral, or an invite to have coffee, or a parking ticket.

i just want the cubs to win the world series, and then the luxury of dying in my sleep.