busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Friday, April 30, 2010
  2. Thursday, April 29, 2010

    if there was a foursquare of rock 

    youd know ive been listening to the Zoggs a lot

    i have the worst car cd player. its really a Sirius satellite radio with a cd player, but the cd player feels second-rate, so it’s super finicky if you put a burned cd in it.

    one of its quirks is it will just play whatever damn song it wants.

    and then it wont spit out the cd when you wanna take it inside. or omg switch it to something else

    so you have to be extremely careful whenever you have the chance to make a switcheroonie.

    the other day i got the new Zoggs record in the mail and i put it in the passenger’s seat just so if i got lucky at a stop light i could yank the Oreska Band disc out and put the Zoggs in. after hundreds of attempts the lights just blinked but nothing came out.

    other day for no rhyme or reason when i pressed eject it popped out. then in went the Zoggs.

    dont really know what happened in the last few weeks on howard stern because the soothing surf punk has been the soundtrack of alot of this april.

    then yesterday i found this video some guy made along with some bmx racing from Arizona of all places.

    someone told me that Coulter, Tsar’s drummer is playing drums in The Zoggs but you know how people just like to talk.

  3. jane says ive never been in love 

    i dont know what it is

    i only know they want me

    gen y for get about wheres your led zeppelin

    the question is wheres yr janes addiction

    problem is you keep watching american idol

    so that will be your Senior Gift to the world

    this was ours

  4. dont you wanna do more? 

    dont you wanna be free?

    dont you wanna be able to accept an all expense paid junket to japan?

    why would you wanna be chained to me?

    i am so out of control. im so not the future of blogging. im so not the right man for your kids.

    my little niece cute as can be, is sad that not many people are gonna be going to her First Communion.

    my mom called me first on my landline then at my office line to tell me that shes sad.

    i was all ma, that kid has everything – huge house, a nanny, the greatest grammy ever. its time for her to learn a valueable life lesson:

    Disappointment will follow you like a Shadow.

    my mom was all, she loves you, she wants her uncle to be around her.

    i was all, ma, i was a terrible brother, im a heart-attack inducing son, and im the meanest uncle.

    she sighed and said, all im saying is if she got a card from her uncle it would be very nice.

    so i said, oh i will send her a card, all right. DEAR LITTLE GIRL….

    suddenly my mom saw the error of her ways

    LOOK AROUND YOU, COUNT THE SQUARE FOOTAGE OF YR HOME, WHEN I WAS YR AGE

    thats fine tony, no need to write a card, she said

    AND ANOTHER THING, COUNT THE CHANNELS ON YR TV, WE HAD 5 CHANNELS WHEN WE WERE IN 2nd GRADe!

    im hanging up now

    YOU HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT FOR CHRISSAKE, YOU DONT EVER GET TO COMPLAIN OR BE SAD

    then me and my mom talked about Wii

    but if i ever find my sisters mailing address, that little kid’s gonna get the most awesomely freaky first communion card any niece ever got in her lyfe.

  5. Wednesday, April 28, 2010

    talked for an hour and ahalf with a weird squirrel 

    because shes not in the mode to see things as positively as i am,
    she may take offense of the weird part or the squirrel part

    but let it be know, i frickin love the weird part.

    so many times i will be talking to some new girl or some new someone and im thinking god would she look a lot better in a shiny blouse with a whole buncha stars on em

    or why doesnt she just hurry up and kiss me already or

    how come she doesnt see that my coffee table needs to be danced on.

    tonights weird squirrel is so perfect she doesnt need to dance on my coffee table

    or wear anything crazy

    becaause shes interesting enough.

    she wont believe me if i told her because no one ever believes me unless im being mean

    ironic because when im being mean im not being me and thats precisely when you shouldnt listen to the words but only hear the sounds

    and the sounds only mean “im hurt” “im confused” “im in pain”.

    listen when im happy to the words

    which is why ive tried only to be happy here

    becasue im the weirdest damn squirrel youve ever met.

    which is why i’ll talk to people like juliette

    and you

    and anyone who i dont have to imagine crazy things about

    cuz theyre already fascinating

    evne when theyre just sitting there

    all nite

  6. its been a pretty fun week already 

    and its only humpday

    last night jeanine and i saw juliette lewis at the echo. first we went to palermo for a nice italiano dinnero but palermo is closed on tuesdays. who knew?

    so we pretended we were hipsters and dined at Fred 62 where every time ive been there ive seen a celeb. but since i didnt see any this time there are only two options, one there were two of them and they were making out with each other in the bathroom

    or two, there were two of em and they are named tony and jeanine.

    had what i always have, the chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy and mixed vegitables.

    heres what i dont like: if you give a man a salad but he asks you to substitute soup, charge the man an extra buck if you want, but under no circumstances say there are no substitutions.

    life is nothing if not a series of substitutions.

    ‘specially during a recession.

    there was a time when jeanine and i were oh so in love. we still love each other in a way that a stranger might think is adorable, we hold hands, we hug each other tightly, we kiss on the lips as we are walking through the streets, we dont buy each others bs.

    but at some point we substituted each other for others and i’ll tell you what fred 62, it was necessarry and a lot better than being stuck with a bowl of stuff you dont want.

    speaking of hotness, lets move on to juliette lewis.

    how much does a woman need to do to prove that she knows how to rock?

    juliette has been on a rock crusade for years now. most of this decade if i recall. yet even though tickets were a paltry $10 the cozy echo was not packed, and barely prepared for the tornado that is juliette.

    she opened the show on drums, was probably the cause of the broken bass pedal, and when it was obvious that the drummer was not going to improvise, rallied the rest of her band to bust with a blues number so reminicent of janis joplin that it evoked acid flashbacks into most of the crowd and summoned a mystical bass drum pedal that arrived mid song just in time for the climatic and euphoric chorus.

    i know shes no justin beeeeeber, but as far as locally grown rock goes, there are few better. does she need some better songs? who doesnt. but to watch someone get up there, shake it, scream it, and belt it out, is definately with my ten bucks.

    she told us that she was gonna play again in a few weeks so stay tuned.

    monday night sarah and ali wanted to drink eat and be merry.

    the original plan was to go to this fancy sunset strip club where a promotor had gotten together all of these models and there would be bottle service for the high rollers and a red carpet for the red carpet types. and even though ali and i both rsvp’ed we didnt get a confirmation back, which is surprising because we both have email addresses that rarely get blown off,

    but whatevs we decided to go to the irish bar dillons where the pints are $3 and the waitresses all wear plaid skirts and knee highs.

    only because ali and sarah are such great sports did it happen, and once we were there they realized, omg this place is packed filled with youngish dudes. which they thought was the best thing ever. meanwhile i had plenty to look at as well. and i dont mean the amazing selection of sports programming on the plasma screens.

    because ashley was right when she said im never satisfied, all i could do was think how much better Dillons would be if they had a dj. their music is the worst. and its on a loop. and its a short loop. so you could go an hour and hear the same songs. how is that even possible in 2010?

    i for one nominate dj scott sterling to be the house dj of dillons and if they cant afford him, perhaps i should volunteer to rock some ipods merely for some dinner and drinks.

    ali and sarah wanted to party further into the night but i needed to go home and wash my hair.

    but next time for sure!!