1. Friday, May 14, 2010

    how to keep a customer forever 

    i bought my mom a wii for mothers day. from amazon.

    about a year ago i realized i bought a lot of things from amazon so i signed up for their Prime deal, which allows you to get free two day shipping on anything in their warehouse.

    Prime cost $79 a year. and its gotta be good for amazon because you end up buying about 79 times the amount of stuff you should be buying from them because everything feels like a deal since its free shipping and it gets to you fast.

    recently i bought a six pack of my favorite deodorant, a three pack of my favorite body wash, and some of these toilet scrubbers i like from amazon. normally youd buy em at Target or whatever, but you dont always think of those things when youre at target. plus its free shipping so why not.

    what it does is it gets you thinking about amazon all the time. so when i wanted to get my mom a wii i figured i could go to target and put it on my target card, i could go to best buy and get those reward points for getting it from them, or i could get it from amazon and theyd ship it free and id skip a trip to the post office.

    plus for $5 theyd gift wrap it. now i dont know about you, but im a dude, id much rather tip some kids at the mall $5 to wrap my gift than actually have to buy all those supplies and do a crappy job. so amazon gets the $5 tip instead.

    mothers day comes and goes, no package. i asker if her nice neighborhood has gone bad, and shes all offended. well thats good. but no package? i ask her to look around back to the deck, to look under a bush, or ask a neighbor if maybe they are holding it for you.

    negative on all counts.

    sass and friend laying on my bed waiting for something interesting to happen

    id never called amazon before. so i forget to call them on weds, and thurs. here we are now more than a week after UPS allegedly dropped in on her porch. suddenly i was afraid that not only wouldnt amazon ship out another one, on them, but theyd blame me for waiting so long to call them.

    so i go to amazon, they have a “call” button that you click. but first you plug in your phone number and after you click the button your phone rings and its them. wth? i got a lady who was clearly in a foreign land but she was nice, she apologized like a half dozen times, she put me on hold and called UPS, she came back and said they swear they delivered it but theyd “investigate”, and she says

    we will have a replacement wii sent to your mother’s house for free.

    no fuss, no muss, no weird paperwork to fill out. just “okey dokey you’re a prime customer and yep you buy a lot of weird crap, we can see from the gift wrapping you paid for and the cheesy note you wrote you love your mom and you sent her a wii she probably wont even use, so sure, this ones on us and we’ll try to squeeze it out of ups on the back end.”

    im paraphrasing. and now i trust amazon even more than i trusted them before. they are a very good organization who always gets me my crap fast and maybe if i ever publish that childrens book for christmas i will actually let them sell it for me, something i never did in the past.

    k, now i gotta finish cleaning my pad so a friend of yours can have a comfortable stay here this weekend.