dear fake marisa gabrielson

thank you for inviting me to be your 8th friend on facebook.

something troubles me though.

how does such a pretty young lady allegedly working somewhere as interesting as the Los Angeles Times only have 7 friends on facebook?

also, how is it that i dont remember seeing you around the building and yet you want me to be your 8th friend?

did you hate everyone at Laguna Beach High AND everyone at your college?

also, why are the only friends you have on facebook guys? do you hate all women too?

meanwhile who is this marisa gabrielson who bears a striking resemblance to you, who, like so many pretty young ladies does not share her private information to plain old strangers on the web. and she, I would hazard to guess, has hundreds of facebook friends

because she is really marisa

and not some shady spam-based operation waiting to lure horny weird men into their trap and unleash some ungodly web-based chicanery upon their computer for no extra charge.

real spam dude behind fake babe profile, why on earth would you target the LA Times, an organization that could easily investigate whats behind all this tom foolery and out you faster than you could say chimichanga (for no other reason than its fun to say chimichanga)?

you sound like someone dying to get caught.

which is what will happen to you, by us, or by someone. dont worry.

and if youre lucky someone like marisa will sue you for how youve damaged her in some way.

which is why i intentionally spelled her name wrong

on this sacred blog.