nothing in here is true

  1. Wednesday, September 15, 2010
  2. Tuesday, September 14, 2010

    the sassy redhead is alie 

    yesterday was her last day at work

    why is it her last day? cuz she got a book deal and a tv deal.

    wait what? yes, she and her pallie georgia have been making cool cocktails and videos and everyone noticed

    so last night they went to a fun silverlake club called cha cha cha and made their latest drink for all of their sad friends who will miss her bubbly spirit, quick wit, and intense work ethic.

    the drink was called Peanut Butter and Jealous:

    the girl can do it all. i will miss her very much.

    so much that i went into my library and got charles bukowski’s “women”

    i figured she had read it, but who knows these things

    then i went back in time and had him autograph it for her.

    threw on my wonkette tshirt and went to the bar. lots of people were there

    the drink was good. and it never hurts to lick peanut butter from your glass as you get buzzed.

    i will miss you alie!

  3. Monday, September 13, 2010

    my stomach has been aching for the last few days 

    thus this has been my view for most of the weekend.

    i feel like theres a baby in there. a very angry baby. who wears a lady gaga hat.

    i try to feed the baby but he doesnt like any of the food i give him.

    i try to drown it with water, but it only makes him grow.

    i fed him some chocolate milk last night though and that put him to sleep.

    it was nice.

  4. Sunday, September 12, 2010

    you know something i really like? 

    i really like that i have a postman (and sometimes a postwoman) who understands

    that my mailbox is regular-sized, thus too small for more than one magazine and some letters

    thus on days when im blessed with more than one magazine, i appreciate when they just leave them on the welcome mat.

    i am thankful because i havent always had such logical mail-people.

  5. Saturday, September 11, 2010

    nine years ago howard stern was talking dirty about pamela anderson 

    when he received news about the first plane hitting the world trade center

    ralph, who had a good view of the towers was on the phone and left to see it.

    interesting how quickly the tone switches as they watch tv and speculate and broadcast

    part two is even more dramatic.

    say what you will about howard stern, but this broadcast was historic and fascinating.

  6. in some very strange ways, 9/11 helped launch blogging 

    the ends dont justify the means, of course

    but its so true that with every action theres an equal reaction.

    and all that craziness and hate and destruction that went down nine years ago

    bloomed into more craziness and creativity and construction all over the web.

    one day someone smart, hopefully Welch, will write a book about how 9/11 put blogging on the fast track

    how it made everyone understand this medium. how that tragic event sent everyone online.

    and embraced the non-professionals who were there, or who were good at pointing to the there.

    i always look for silver linings. thats mine for today.

  7. Friday, September 10, 2010

    wall street journal vs the new york times explained 

    via Taiwanese animation

    sarah ellison of vanity fair describes my favorite part nicely

    Murdoch’s fin never disappears, even as he and his Chinese-born third wife, clad in a cheongsam, blast a WSJ-branded cannon full of dollars towards Sulzberger and a sombrero-wearing Carlos Slim, the Mexican billionaire who is the Times’s largest shareholder outside Sulzberger’s own family. The NYT cannon responds, but sends a lonely bill floating to the street.

    as sad as the two grand papers are portrayed here, why is it that blogs always end up being given the worst treatment? we’re just bloggin over here.

    h/t kosearas

  8. i think i need some time off 

    a respite. a break.

    i think i need to get outta cali and spread my wings and fly butterfly like mariah.

    i think i need to take a pretty girl and hold her hand as she takes her shoes off at security.

    i think i need to unplug for a while and check out and tune out and tune in.

    i think if i see a carnival i need to stop what im doing and go to it and play

    and not take any pictures for the blawwwwg

    or for even posterity.

    the present begins with me.

    i think if the xbi sends a dancer over to whisper in my ear “theres a boat you should see”

    i will not take the bait and drive down to the ocean.

    and i will not take the bait and find myself on the boat.

    no matter how badass it is.

    i think the next time i go to the beach it will be for pleasure, not business.

    and the next time i see a ball game it will be at wrigley, not the ravine.

    i think im very happy its friday.

  9. Thursday, September 9, 2010