nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, December 25, 2010
  2. Friday, December 24, 2010

    omg its almost Jesus’s Birthday! 

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    even the animals are excited beyond belief

    The little girl had milk n cookies ready for santa, and carrots for the reindeer (and good beer for me!)

    Turned out to be a really bad idea to put these next to the tree cuz that big dog spilled the milk and started drinking it

    so we put him in the basement

    my mom’s crazy Christmas Village just gets bigger and bigger each year

    lots of trees in my sister’s house, i told the kids Santa may get confused

    everyones asleep now so lets hope everything works out in the morn

    Merry Christmas!!!

  3. one of my all time favorite bloggers lets loose on Christmas eve 

    from Zulieka’s latest post

    So what is happening, is that I am starting to think that I don’t need this guy in my life. All of his affection, and my affection, is heaped onto our daughter and we have nothing for each other. He is always dead tired, and you have to feel sorry for him, but when did feeling sorry for someone keep a marriage going? I asked my mother on the phone “do you think it’s bad that we are so loving to Zumi and so awful to each other? My mother related this story, in typical Japanese nihilistic gloom, about her cousin. The man and his wife adored their son. The wife has an affair. The man kills himself. The son is now in a mental institution. HO, ho, ho.

    the more i read blogs and the more i talk to young women in relationships the more im starting to believe that today’s male species is going through a major bout of douchebaggery.

    how are we so tired all the time? why arent we creating miracles?

    and if women are so smart, why do they keep choosing these dudes who almost instantly turn into absolute losers?

    does a huge package and a six pack really hypnotize even the wisest women down a path of years and years of misery and disappointment?

    what happened to all those gurls who swore they

    i dont see any nerds with the hotties wearing those tshirts.

    perhaps the next generation will change everything.

  4. reliving the year 2010 

    .. next stop, July


    it was a great july: interviewed bruce willis, saw rage against the machine, stole ironman’s girlfriend at santa monica beach, saw a deadhead sticker on a cadillac, saw the cubs sweep the dodgers – perfecto

  5. Thursday, December 23, 2010

    when it comes down to it im actually a royal jerk 

    i want things my way. im selfish. i judge. i rarely forgive people. ive lost most of my mojo.

    and if i could have a guy stand behind me as i held two burger king chicken sandwiches, i would.

    in fact id have another guy stand in front of that guy to dance for me while i stayed at home writing on the internet – my only real joy.

    the people who suffer the most from who i am are the people closest to me. all they want to do is have a good time and bask in the fiction that i present in this blog.

    but as a young lady who just met me said, im a complicated onion.

    and unlike many fun complicated things like hitchcock plots or g spots or moneyball techniques in the age of $20 mill a year free agents, theres not a lot of reward at the end of my dark rainbow.

    best you can hope for is a half decent meal and a bitter man calling you pretty.

    2011 is going to be the year of the secret blog.

    the busblog will go through a once-in-a-decade revamp which will really just be a beautiful fakeout to distract the casual reader from whats really happening in the shadows on another url.

    the ultimate in selfishness, i know, but at least it’ll be consistent to who the author is.

  6. Wednesday, December 22, 2010

    sweet home 

    on the flight out here i sat next to a kid who wore sandals

    two probs with wearing sandals on a flight from LA to Chicago. the first being its been raining for a week straight in LA, so his feet had to be wet and cold.

    the second being theres 4 inches of snow in chicago and it’s about 39 degrees.

    needless to say we didnt talk because ive met my annual quota of talking to crazy people.

    which brings us to chicagoland grocery store Dominick’s who has a large assortment of gift cards.

    i noticed gift cards for Sox, Bears, Bulls, even the soccer team the Fire was represented. but where are the world champion Chicago Blackhawks or the beloved Chicago Cubs?

    my mom told me: they are always sold out of Cubs and Hawks stuff. any store, anywhere. people love them.

    and with that answer i love her that much more.

  7. some times things work out 

    which isnt to say they go to plan, they never do that

    but sometimes people are going the same direction as you in the freeway

    and maybe one of em looks over at you like “wanna go fast?” and they floor it

    and you catch up, flooring it also, and together you speed through the desert in the rain

    the freedom is supernatural because most of the time everyones going so damn slow

    and when you look over at the person to your right they’re texting

    and when you look over at the person on the left they can barely see over the wheel

    last night i was so nervous that i became early. i was nervous in a way that required chocolate milk.

    turned out i was being crazy again. turned out everyone wanted to scream across the plains.

    turned out i wasnt alone.

  8. Tuesday, December 21, 2010

    three years ago today i began working at the LA Times 

    one lady actually wrote me when i started to say it wouldnt last six months

    occasionally strangers stop by and say even meaner things

    sometimes it makes Lindsay frown, but usually it’s a very strange dream come true

    every month and every year more and more people come to our blogs

    the secret ingredient? these people. they’re amazing.