what do i wish for what do i wish for?

i wish the dreams would stop. there was a time where i could go 2-3 months with radio silence.

it doesnt matter if theyre “good” dreams or bad ones, i dont want either. i just wanna sleep.


black is beautiful.

i want to close my eyes, not move, and then wake up without an alarm clock.

for years i have been able to pull that off. and mostly minus the lies my brain tells me in my slumber that some call dreams.

i have plenty of real life dreams, and a surprisingly large amount of them come true.

now that ive quit the xbi most of the nightmares are gone, but some of those pop outta nowhere too but in real life i can fight back. in dreams, not so much.

its crazy cuz im the furthest thing from a control freak, and its insane to some that i want to control the subconscious, but im telling you that its possible. more possible than people give me credit for. you just will that part of the brain to stfu.

last night all was well until i dreampt this angel was talking to me.

you think shes here to make your life better, the angel said.

maybe you’re here to make hers better.

and then it was morning.

and i was pissed.

this is jeanine

i love her. shes pretty easy to love. not everyone is, but she is.

she and i lived together in college. we dated my senior year and the year after my senior year.

now shes dating a great friend we knew back in college.

i know she and i were pretty good together, and now we’re great friends, but i gotta say, they may be damn near perfect. who doesnt love when that happens?

i hadnt seen jeanine since before christmas so we had a delicious lunch at my favorite place.

turned out she doesnt like soft shelled crabs or lobster. so i ate the crab roll myself. but when it came to the K8 roll, which is topped with lobster, i said sorry but youre gonna have to try one of these pieces.

she did, and her eyes closed and she started smiling. beaming, really.

my mouth just climaxed, she said.

we held hands on the drive home, cuz she loves me too.

im the luckiest of all humanoids.

did you jeanine has a blog about being a jeweler? yep!