1. Monday, January 10, 2011

    what do i wish for what do i wish for? 

    i wish the dreams would stop. there was a time where i could go 2-3 months with radio silence.

    it doesnt matter if theyre “good” dreams or bad ones, i dont want either. i just wanna sleep.

    blackness.

    black is beautiful.

    i want to close my eyes, not move, and then wake up without an alarm clock.

    for years i have been able to pull that off. and mostly minus the lies my brain tells me in my slumber that some call dreams.

    i have plenty of real life dreams, and a surprisingly large amount of them come true.

    now that ive quit the xbi most of the nightmares are gone, but some of those pop outta nowhere too but in real life i can fight back. in dreams, not so much.

    its crazy cuz im the furthest thing from a control freak, and its insane to some that i want to control the subconscious, but im telling you that its possible. more possible than people give me credit for. you just will that part of the brain to stfu.

    last night all was well until i dreampt this angel was talking to me.

    you think shes here to make your life better, the angel said.

    maybe you’re here to make hers better.

    and then it was morning.

    and i was pissed.