omg tony answers your questions of love

in vegas at the palms

Will Campbell asks: Oh shnit! Uh, OK. When? No, wait. Why? Ahhh… right. What happens if I break that new rule?

The skies will darken then open, bitter tears from angry angels will fall, and pop will lose its fizz in cans and bottles everywhere. luckily you’ll probably be forgiven since you’ve been a reader here for a good 60-70 years. so a virgin will probably need to be sacrificed or something. nothing serious.

Karisa J asks: are you gonna rock out with us tonight???

Two nights in a row? Are you sure the universe could handle that? As much as I adore the shirtless, shlubby, balding young disco singer (and i seriously hope you make out with him mid concert) – and as much as i love that venue, i have plans to drink with an up n coming rock star near my hood. so if you are looking for an afterparty hit me up.

Mark Z asks: You know everything, how can we improve Facebook?

This isn’t anything you can do yourselves. But you should encourage people to keep it real about their Relationship Status. If there’s one thing I hate about Facebook it’s people who can be honest about everything, show everything, but when it comes to Relationship Status they’re suddenly all mum. They don’t tell you when they’re broken up, they dont tell you when they’re off the market, and some dont even tell you if they’re married. Please allow me to make a Facebvegasook App (remember those?) that says “What’s Probably Going On” where based on Check Ins, emails, chats, etc. a program can return the results of “She’s probably [doing] [this guy].”  and/or  “She’s probably [dating/married to] [this chump].” People can always deny it, and it just may be wrong, but i bet it wont be.

Also revert back to your old photo galleries, this current thing is as pretty as one of those temporary spare tires, and works just as smooth. Quit fixing things that aint broke.

Curious George wants to know: Hey Tony what blog won the week?

This may be the easiest question of the week. Wonkette. Not only did they seem to out Sarah Palin (or her people, or one of her supporters) for creating a silly sloppy sockpuppet (are there any other kinds?), but earlier in the week one of their readers tipped them off to Wikipedia pages being used in the LA state legislature’s rotunda next to statues as if it wasnt a big deal. That post turned things into a big deal: not only did it inspire a LA lobbyist to write in for comic relief, but the post alerted the State that something was amiss which they immediately changed.

And finally President asks: Must everything that happens in Vegas stay there?

There should be one place where you should be allowed to unbutton, let yr hair down, and let your freak flag fly. As honest we pretend to be with ourselves, truth is we’re on guard a lot. We have walls. There should be one place where you can go, let loose, and not be judged. Somewhere what you do won’t end up on your permanent record.

Most of the time when I go there I don’t do anything illegal or immoral – and neither do most of the people who visit there. I just enjoy the energy. The options. The gluttony and spectacle. I love the food, I love being able to carry a beer from the bar to the street to a cab to the next casino. To me that’s America, the way it was supposed to be. It’s also the only place I like to dress up and stay up all night. Not New York, not LA: Vegas.

It’s also one of the few places I like to go, sometimes alone even, and just sit in a nice hotel room and write and not leave for a long time. It is a very spiritual place for me, in a weird way, and safe, and I think that it’s because the underlying theme of “…stays in Vegas…” is one of forgiveness.

and the only thing better than forgiveness, is forgiveness prior to the sin.

some people need that sort of permission. especially those of us who may have some evil pent up nagging for attention that must be addressed.

Some address it by gambling, some address it by having naked girls sit on their laps as metal riffs rip through a dark club, some just want a safe well lit place to drink while dressed as a hooker.

When the founders created America, I’m glad they planned on a place like Las Vegas. This country totally needed such a town.

Oh wait, right under the wire Basart asks: When are you setting up the PS reunion that you mentioned that you wanted to do?

You know Karisa asked me that yesterday. I love how the two most organized people I know are asking me to set this grand thing up. Fine. What month is this. Almost March? March is Pisces. Too emotional for reuinions. April then. May’d be better. But April is better. April 1? No one would believe it. It is a Friday though. April 8? That was the day Hank Aaron hit 715. Fine, April 8.

I’ll make a Facebook group. Thanks for the nudge Ken!

Update: Created!