1. Saturday, February 12, 2011

    theres few people i love as much as my niece and nephew 

    but i hardly see them and weirdly thats ok with me.

    i love wrigley field more than any other place in the world,

    but i go years without even driving past it when im in town.

    whats wrong with me?

    clearly its something the xbi did to me in santa barbara

    it fits so closely with their belief that feelings get in the way of missions

    the younger gen xbi agent would ollie a firehydrant and esp-tweet

    em0tions r4 kidz l0ls

    usually i want new.

    usually i want to learn from creating the future than reliving the past.

    and the reason i think the xbi is behind it is because i didnt always used to be this way.

    i used to be able to cry and scream and pound my fist and be perfectly ok being irrational and emotional and nostalgic

    but how you gonna fly chopper one when your nose is running from crying?

    what if the terrorists say tell us everything or we blow up wrigley.

    why do i have a voice saying the correct answer is you cant blow up paradise.

    or the reason you feel close to those you magically love is cuz youve known them before

    and will know them again.

    jealousy possession and any limit of their freedom limits yours.

    i was not born with that in my ear.

    and i didnt learn it neither.

    and although i believe it

    i dont like it.