from today’s blog entry:
I am sad and angry.
I think I am way more angry than I care to admit
and sometimes I cannot control it.
Or perhaps, I am way more sad than I care to admit so I act angry.
I am not sure what comes first.
But I have always been of the mindset that anger is a mask for hurt.
I will never forget when I called Greg to tell him the latest ridiculousness
that is my life
the first words out his mouth were “you are love starved”
and it made me so sad to know that
and hear someone else say it.
To not feel loved in this world is the saddest
next to Quentin Compson’s line in the Sound and the Fury
“was. the saddest word there is.”
I always try to remind myself of that when I feel so angry at my lack of doing
anything to change my current state of existence.
That I dont want to be a was.