1. Friday, March 18, 2011

    how can i be in a great mood And have a hang over? 

    about girl scout cookies

    cuz im a freak perhaps?

    clearly theres a screw loose – but enough about me, lets talk about my cute little niece, the girl scout.

    my mom was all hey order some girl scout cookies from your niece. i was all F THE GIRL SCOUTS!

    my mom was like :(

    i continued THEY DONT EVEN BAKE THOSE COOKIES THEY SHOULD FREAKIN BAKE

    my mom is the greatest mom of all, fyi, she had plenty of chances to kill me in my sleep but resisted

    young black men die all the time. theres never any investigation.

    mom was all, it will help with her self confidence. didnt selling cub scout candy boost yours?

    i was like YEAH CUZ I WENT DOOR TO DOOR AND LEARNED THE ART OF THE SALE!!!!

    mom was WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?

    i was all whoops sorry caps lock fail.

    then i said ma im on a diet.

    she said you know i dont want you rejoining the xbi.

    i was like shhhhh this isnt a secure line. hear those clicks?

    finally my mom wore me down,

    and the clicks were full on morse coding “dont be a dbag buy some damn cookies”

    so i said ok ma, have the little angel send me a self addressed stamped envelope with an invoice

    tell her i wanna order 10 boxes of thin mints and ship em to my thighs.

    and yesterday i got the invoice.