nothing in here is true

  1. Saturday, March 26, 2011

    theres a new raccoon we’ve noticed in the courtyard 

    they say doves mate for life.

    every morning i rise from my slumber, walk to the front door and stick my head out the door.

    i look to the left, then to the right to make sure none of my neighbors are outside.

    i dont want them to laugh at me in my pajamas.

    then i put on my flip flops and walk outside to retrieve the newspaper.

    usually the doves are startled by me and they fly off drunkenly a few feet.

    they like to hang out in the dirt of our courtyard.

    no idea why.

    arent the trees a better spot for birds?

    yesterday i talked to my neighbor and i said, why do you think those crazy doves hang out in the dirt so much?

    she was all, lazy maybe?

    recently ive only seen one dove  in the morning.

  2. Friday, March 25, 2011
  3. Thursday, March 24, 2011

    ron artest is a role model 

    of the lakersmore people should be like ron artest.

    thats what i learned today.

    also, its great to have really good friends.

    also, donald trump has poise.

    had an interesting conversation over lunch about the difference between hemingway and bukowski.

    finally it rained here in LA.

    i havent had christmas lights in my bedroom in years and i gotta say, theyre wonderful.

    im going to the dentist tomorrow.

    thats my camera right next to ron ron

    ron isnt as tall as i thought hed be. tall sure, but not kareem but god, so nice.


  4. weird, sad day yesterday 

    and because there are some things that i dont talk about regarding the xbi lets just say i was in a little bit of shock when it went down.

    fortunately i was able to regroup with my team and we had a really good postmortem.

    communication among the team has never been a problem. we’ve definately got that going.

    regardless, i almost cried. then i almost cried when i got home.

    sometimes when im in a mood like that i just like to wake up early and drive around and take pictures of trees.

    the only constant in life is change.

    i will say this though, when i got home eating didnt cheer me up but two things did. one nice, one not so nice.

    the nice thing was ali was really supportive via gchat.

    the not so nice thing, that helped, was i had a cigarette.

    the one thing the xbi has been trying me to do for ever.

  5. Wednesday, March 23, 2011
  6. Tuesday, March 22, 2011
  7. truest returns on saturday at high noon 

    shes been gone four long months.

    ive struggled to be without her.

    we talk on the phone every now and then but who likes the phone.

    sometimes she’ll text me and i’ll text her back and for some reason i like that better.

    the first time she was in afrique we barely talked at all or wrote, and strangely that was nice.

    every now and then shed catch me on gchat and that was perfect pretty muh. hi! hi!! hi!

    one day there will be holograms.

    think she still loves me?

    i can be extremely annoying. or boring. depends on what im drinking.

    my breath is usually horrid. i spit when i talk. and then theres the bible.

    all she wants to do is save the world.

    thats all

  8. Monday, March 21, 2011
  9. secrets 

    secret book

    fascinating discussion last night in a gloomy bar on sunset.

    all about secrets.

    babe was saying how she and her man have things they keep from each other.

    truest is coming home saturday and is it weird we dont have any secrets?

    arent there people who you want and need to tell all your secrets to? and shouldnt that also be the person you fall asleep with?

    or are those people to be kept at a distance? now im confused.

    i suppose i have secret blogs and secret boxes and secret hard drives and books.

    paintings and drawings and mix tapes and identities.

    but isnt the thrill of loving someone testing the bounds of how disgusting they think you are.

    and when they know all of that and still love you, then it really is love?

    maybe thats a secret too