1. Wednesday, March 23, 2011

    today is tiffany and lianas birthday 

    theyre twins.

    tiffany (right, avec gun) was blogging so well at 18 years old that i was linking to her at least once a week. soon i was building a new website, Lick, all around her and others like her. young women who wrote their booties off but would probably write even better if they could do it under the cover of anonymity.

    tiffany used to chat with me and id say i dont believe youre 18. knock on my door when youre 19.

    and because life isnt fair she knocked on my door when she was 19 and she was tall and lean and had the cutest amount of blue eye shadow on and i was all oh my oh my oh my.

    sometimes when you meet people who youve been reading for a while they dont live up to their persona.

    tiffany was the exception. she was better than how she came across and she came across perfectly. she also had the cutest voice.

    she has a boyfriend now so shes dead to me. JK!

    i still have a picture of her hanging in my room when she came over that first time.

    its not this one but i love it anyway. the birthday girl is in the center pretending shes shy.

    and basart

    speaking of first times,  today is also Lianas birthday. first time i ever shaved my head was because of her.

    details about that and the wildest night Liana ever had after the jump.

    liana, it seemed to me, was always telling me no. knock it off. shut up. dont do that. hey!

    and most of the time she was right, i was being out of line. and she was classy.

    we met at a koo koo roo. i was working at e! and my coworker said hey im gonna eat at koo koo roo with my girlfriend.

    i was all, does she have a friend? he said, yeah, but shes gonna hate you. youre totally not her type.

    when i met her she scoffed at me and said stop trying whatever your name is, youre totally not my type.

    so we decided just to be friends *wink* and one thing led to another and suddenly i had no hair.

    she had shaved it off. and i auctioned it to some college kids in virgina. id do anything to impress her. never worked.

    until i brought over my niece (yes that one) who i taught how to pretend to be asleep.

    after that it was on. like tommy chong. and not only did we lunch at koo koo roo, but we had worked our way over to baja fresh.

    one day i got a phone call from two really great bloggers, big tanky and bunny and they were all, lets party

    i was all, omg Lets, and i called liana

    and i said hey whattya wanna do with these peeps? she said anything but eat thai food, you fart when you eat thai.

    whoops. howd we end up at rock n roll thai.

    then she said and whatever you do, i dont wanna go to a strip club.

    when we got there she was all WHAT DID I SAY? WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY?

    shes cuban. and an aries. aka one hot tamale. WHAT DID I SAY!

    i was all, its not really a strip club, they dont have a license to show stuff.

    she said WHAT? THATS THE MOST RIDICULOUS LIE EVER. i was all, no lie.

    then i said 5 minutes, if you arent having a great time in 5 minutes, i’ll leave these girls here and take you home.

    4 minutes later:

    happy birthday Liana and Tiffany!!!