nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, May 19, 2011



    have i ever mentioned my admiration and adoration of mr Hugh MacLeod?

    bro does things on his terms, his way, to huge success

    in a highly competitive space (art, wine)

    and makes it look oh so easy.

    rock on Hugh!

  2. Wednesday, May 18, 2011
  3. the creepiest “peace be with you” ive ever heard 

    ok ive got two problems with this security guard at the newt gingrich glitter party

    1. how do you let a guy into your hotel meeting room with a bag? there could be a gun in that bag.

    there could be a whip in that bag. (like indiana jones.)

    there could be bin ladens head in that bag. (like indiana jones part 5)

    and yes, there could be a cheese-it box full of asbestos-laced glitter.

    2. the security guard outs himself from not being Of This Realm

    because as he “holds” the elevator door, it continues to close on him

    as if he was not even there.

    this happens to vampires too, i understand,

    which is why the “peace be with you” is equal parts creepy, sarcastic, and FORESHADOWING


  4. Tuesday, May 17, 2011

    thinking about either reading for two weeks or taking a train around america 

    im hours away from a two week vacation. thirteen days, actually, of no responsibilities.

    there are a few options:

    i could declutter my home.

    i could go on 13 dates with 13 people i meet on match.com

    i could go to 13 different places of worship.

    i could eat at 13 different taco trucks.

    i could read 13 different books in my library.

    i could see 13 different movies at 13 different movie palaces.

    or i could pay $400 and travel around america on amtrak.

    the truest is looking for a new career and i asked her to rail with me, but she politely declined.

    errrything she does is polite. and even though last night she was on a roll saying no to me,

    when i proposed the amtrak plan she stopped in her tracks and shyly smiled cuz she knew shed love it.

    i had to run to her side of the table to hug her cuz it was so sweet.

    went to bed early, came in to work early, but for the first time in my life i have writers block.

    which means i’ll probably only knock out three posts today.

    i could write 13 short stories, so my man in west virginia has a book to give to his friends at christmas.

  5. Monday, May 16, 2011

    this town really is stunned that the lakers arent still in the playoffs 

    and i gotta say im a little stunned too.

    this weekend i barely watched any hoops, instead i rooted for Vancouver over the SJ Sharks in playoff puck.

    i had a great weekend. hope you did too. good food and fun on friday. good food and a god flick on saturday.

    then sunday i curled up with the Good Book and did very little else on the day of rest.

    im not very good at keeping anything holy, especially the Sabbath, but i think i did a pretty good job yesterday.

    and yet today i am feeling a tad under the weather which worries me because I work today and tomorrow, then im off thru memorial day.

    im thinking about having a staycation. but a working one.

    ive been trying to de-clutter for quite a while.

    i know its boring, but im really thinking about spending 4-5 hours a day putting things into three boxes: trash, keep, donate.

    most of the keep stuff i want to put in storage just to see how much things like high school yearbooks and old rock posters cost to store away.

    i also have way too many clothes. that are crappy. that i shouldnt be wearing any more. those need to go too.

    then when the 5 hours is over, i will go to the movies.

    i really loved seeing Thor with the truest this weekend.

    very few girls let me hold their hand all day.

    i like doing that.

  6. Sunday, May 15, 2011

    we we we so excited 

    odd future was at the troubabdour this friday the 13th

    have i told you i love friday the thirteenths? do.

    but yes its the same troubadour that prince played in on wednesday

    so in this video you can get a taste of how small the place is.

    back in the day people like elton john, david bowie, and the eagles started off there.

    here they pulled off the impossible: making rebecca black’s “friday” feel fun again.

    black folk can do anything.

  7. i also dont feel like im testing enough things 


    i feel like im assuming things. too many things.

    i feel like im assuming that im not assuming so many things,

    but im pretty sure if i tested that theory, my assumptions would probably be proven false.

    we have a test kitchen at work. things are tested there before we put it in the paper.

    if i ever had a house id want one room where things get tested.

    the rest of the house errryone can go around assuming things,

    but all bets are off in the testing room.

    if things went well id want to expand the testing room so as to be able to create a vacuum.

    for id like to test some crap in the vacuum from time to time, im assuming.

    i would also like a hot tub.

  8. where would we be without rock 


    and yet we avoid it.

    we try to put it in a corner.

    25 years after Spinal Tap, and dials still dont go to 11.

    when was the last time you went to 11?

    lemme tell you a few things about 11, 11 doesnt mean youre puking

    it doesnt mean youre being dangerous or irresponsible.

    in the movie, the musician was talking about an amplifier,

    a quality device that could  go “one louder” when he needed that extra kick.

    so 11 is just the plus in a A+

    buts a rock A+

    i went to 11 like twice last month.

    now im shootin for it twice a day.

    doesnt always happen, but its fun trying.

  9. Saturday, May 14, 2011

    slept till noon, feel amazing 

    ask anyone, im and old moldy washed up has been.

    friday night i had a great meal and lovely mini afterparty at the 4100.

    next day i slept till noon. wanna know how? cuz by some miracle i woke up at 5am

    and took a leak. i know i know tmi, but listen its important, heres why.

    if all your bod has to do is relax, it’ll relax, but if its gotta hold in several shots of jameson,

    not to mention the amaretto sour youve suddenly acquired a taste for

    then you’re not gonna be able to sleep past 9.

    luckily around 5 my body was all yo you left the xbox on, your light is on, and youve gotta take care of some biz

    and i did all of that in a quick minute and when i woke up at noon i felt like i had just won a great game of something.

    did a little laundry, ate some delicious free ice cream in the Feliz

    saw Thor, ate a spicy meal at Heartbreak Thai

    and im still trying to figure out where to go on vacation.

    since im so old ive been errrrywhere