theres the omg i cant believe she likes me
and theres the omg i cant believe how crazy shes acting.
other night i went through both of those feelings minutes within each other.
because im a gazillion years old i saw that some of it wasnt due to me, but some of it i was totally responsible for.
still for some reason this particular person was unique in her assault.
one minute she was totally my bff, showing me all her secret things all over her spacious home.
next minute she was sitting in her chair, totally horrible body language, sipping on her dirty martini, telling me all these super off the wall and untrue negative things about me.
me! tony pierce. king of the world. master of both time and space.
and she looked so adorbs doing it.
typically im the type of man that doesnt go for that. i think in matters of love you should pick people who dont wanna slice you up and dice you into shreds even before the good stuff is introduced. i believe that the world is tough enough, no need to bring that sorta dramaz into the boudoir.
but there she was picking me apart and because she was so off base i just smiled and sipped on my ginger ale and let it all fly at me and zip right over like i was aeordynamic.
you look so beautiful, i said.
but i hadnt said it correctly.
so we went into great depths about what i had done and said wrong and how i was in a hole that id never climb out of.
and that was fine. tons of people in the world, some who may actually be ok with the flawed man that i am, and some may see that honesty sometimes may not push all the right buttons, but in the long run may be way better than the alternative.
the problem begins and ends with this: looks are deceiving. you may see someone and be all hubba hubba. and then they burn you.
next one rolls around and youre all mama mia. and that one burns you too.
so you think, ah, i need to look at other factors before i do the thing that will make me vulnerable. and when that works out you forget the red herring, you only aim at the shiny thing Inside.
until you meet the one who was all, um i worked HARD on this outter shell. LOVE THE SHELL!
but its too late because you have already exposed yrself as a Deeper. as in one who looks inside before paying much attention to the outside.
and there you are, alone, again.
xcept for your values.